Perfectionism at Swat

Colleges and Universities A-Z Swarthmore College
1

<p>So, I've looked in-depth at Swarthmore long enough to be sick of it; yet I keep jumping back and forth. Academically and socially, the school is perfect for me--strong in all of my disparate interests, intellectual with zero focus on sports (no football team = plus for me), even an SF/F writing group. And it's close enough to home to satisfy my parents. What's not to like? Well, the workload, obviously; but I'm afraid of it for, I think, a slightly different reason.</p>

<p>I have seen in myself certain perfectionist tendencies. I organize my stuff obsessively, I always strive for a higher grade even when it's already an A (which is apparently anathema in my pragmatically competitive HS), and some things have to be done just so. And I have heard that perfectionists tend to burn out at Swat. Pending a visit, I think Swat is good enough of a fit to apply ED, were it not for this worry. The workload is scary but I think it would be a challenging and growing experience; however, I don't quite trust myself to suppress the perfectionism. For various reasons, financial and personal, I am not considering transfer as a later option, so I need to get this right the first time.</p>

<p>I put this question to CC: can a perfectionist survive (and thrive) at Swat?</p>

2

<p>Wow, you sound exactly like me. And I have exactly the same concerns, although I did decide to apply early decision. I know I tend towards unhealthy levels of perfectionism. So I would love to see some perspectives on this, too.</p>

3

<p>You can be a perfectionist, but you will never be perfect.</p>

4

<p>Whether or not a perfectionist can be successful at Swat largely depends on what your perfectionist tendencies are. It's very individual. </p>

<p>That being said, I'll tell you that Swarthmore did nothing positive for my tendency toward perfection. </p>

<p>The work load is very overwhelming and I see things in black and white terms. The idea of skimming or only doing part of the work is very hard for me to swallow. It's easier for me to do no work at all than to do part of a project. At Swarthmore, prioritizing is the name of the game. There is often too much work to do all of it. </p>

<p>As you also know, people at Swarthmore take on loads of classes and activities and there is always someone who is busier than you. I felt guilty any time I took any breaks or free time. It seems like any time there is a social gathering at Swat, it's called a "study break" implying that when you aren't at said break, you should be studying. This really got to me and I often felt guilty for doing normal things, eating meals, talking on the phone, exercising, talking to friends, etc. </p>

<p>I guess the icing on the cake was that when I sought out help, my experience with psych services was less than satisfactory. My therapist/pDoc combo wasn't so hot and with so much work, it's pretty difficult to see someone in Philly. There were also no therapy groups offered at the time I was there. </p>

<p>I transfered from Swat after my freshman year. It just was not a good fit. </p>

<p>I don't fault the school for these things. It was a combination of my perfectionism and Swarthmore. I have a hard time with these things in any environment. Swarthmore just didn't help at all. Plenty of people love Swarthmore and are successful there. I just wanted to share my experience.</p>

<p>EDIT: I also just wanted to put this in perspective. I've been given a diagnosis of obsessive compulsive personality disorder, so I'm sort of at the extreme end of things as far as perfectionism go. If you do have OCPD or are extreme about things, I really encourage you to visit the school, talk to students, and maybe talk to some of the deans and the health and counseling center. I'm sure plenty of perfectionists do well at Swat. I mean, damn, you have to have a nearly perfect app. to get in!</p>

5

<p>I think it is very difficult to understand what college is like from a high school perspective.</p>

<p>Swarthmore has an academic program that is very successful in taking a wide range of high school students and having them perform at very high academic levels with less emphasis on grades and "measureables" than you will find at many universities.</p>

<p>To the best of my knowledge, my daughter learned all of the tricks (skimming, prioritizing, writing a two-night paper when she had two nights, using the WA program, using the science study groups, etc.) while at Swarthmore. By the end of freshman year, she was not the same student who left for Swarthmore.</p>

<p>This is why it's so difficult to see college through high school eyes. None of you are the student today that you will be a year from now.</p>

6

<p>In case you did not know, the first semester is totally Pass/Fail. This is an amazing opportunity for those of you who are perfectionists to let go and experiment with doing less without being "penalized." You just may find a new equilibrium in your life. </p>

<p>Swarthmore is not the only school with a first semester Pass/Fail and I do not know if the system was in place when banana was a freshman. If you decide not to apply ED to Swarthmore, I would encourage you to consider other schools with a similar policy. It is a terrific opportunity for perfectionists to learn to be easier on themselves.</p>

<p>My d, a freshman, is working hard but finding the workload sufficiently manageable to be able participate in other extracurricular activities that consistently include many rehearsal hours. During HS she managed a challenging academic workload and an enormous commitment to her art. She did all this well enough to have the grades to be admitted by Swarthmore. She probably qualifies as a perfectionist, along with the majority of Swatties. </p>

<p>The "perfectionist" trait or inclination was mentioned in one of the sessions during Parent Orientation by one of the Deans and the parents in the audience nodded with recognition as each of our child was being described. It is this personal drive to excel that makes Swatties so accomplished, interesting and diverse. </p>

<p>Personally, I think that it is better to be surrounded by a majority of students who are self starters and independent, than by mindeless followers of the crowd mentality. I believe that my d, just like interesteddad's daughter did, is learning to balance the workload and hopefully letting go of some of the perfectionism that has driven her for so many years. By the way, she is having a great time. Her brother, who graduated from Brown, did not have nearly as many parties to go to as she has had, and neither are her friends at their respective schools.</p>

<p>Good luck in your quest!</p>

7

<p>The first semester pass/fail policy has been in place at least since the early 1970s.</p>

8

<p>I would have to agree with Dramatica's post. My daughter, also a freshman, never missed a homework assignment or assigned reading during all four years of high school. This was combined with being an officer in NHS and having a lead roll in 3 theatre shows per year, during all four years of high school. Most days, she was at school from 7:15am until 7 or 8 at night. I think she could be considered a perfectionist, although she rarely seemed stressed in high school. She is now learning how to "skim read" her assignments and so far is doing fantastic academically and emotionally. She has been involved in a musical at Swat that required many rehearsal hours in addition to her classes. Except for tech week, she has not been stressed. She loves the support that is all around her. The SAMs, the RA and WAs have been a huge support for her and have helped her "let go" a bit when it comes to readings and such. The upper classmen have also been extremely helpful for her. So, although the classes are intense, they are very manageable, even with an extra curricular activity, due in part to all the support systems that are in place at Swarthmore.</p>

9

<p>Thank you all for the perspectives! I wonder, are there any Swat students on CC like banana, but who have overcome such perfectionist tendencies? Some days I think I could do it easily, but other days... I am not so optimistic.</p>

10

<p>You have to be a perfectionist to get A here.. it's not high school anymore.. so well done if you can be a perfectionist even when you're here.</p>

11

<p>I certainly had perfectionist tendencies when arriving at Swat, and pass-fail was, indeed, the best thing there could have been for me. I still struggle to find balance sometimes, but I've largely figured out what I need to do. </p>

<p>Basically, no, perfectionists can't survive at Swat. But many perfectionists can change, by setting reasonable goals and limiting their work time on any given assignment. I did, and if you think you'll be able to, Swarthmore could be a wonderful experience for you.</p>

12

<p>I think I definitely was a perfectionist before I came to Swat, but also a realist...I certainly still care about doing my best, but getting every single reading done the day before a paper for a class is due when no one else in the class is doing the reading is just not smart thinking. I think everyone - perfectionists and not - has to adjust to Swarthmore, and I do think it would require adjustment, but it would be absolutely doable and I know many people who, like myself, have found a much better way of thinking about it and who are very happy and fulfilled at Swarthmore.</p>

<p>As many people have said, pass/fail is a great aid and taught me a lot about time management and the difference between high school and college work. So did the countless support networks built into Swarthmore that help you figure out the best way to learn for you!</p>

13

<p>Hmm. Thank you for all of the feedback, everyone! I definitely have some things to ponder. (But I'm a junior, so I have a nice long time to think.)</p>

14

<p>Banana's post is sensational: </p>

<p>
[quote]
It seems like any time there is a social gathering at Swat, it's called a "study break" implying that when you aren't at said break, you should be studying.

[/quote]
</p>

<p>First of all, I know plenty of people who don't spend all their time studying. Secondly, it's important to note that, although no one likes to work sleep deprived or work with the knowledge that one has too much work to do to get a good night's rest, Swarthmore students generally work so hard because they enjoy what they do. There's no way I'd spend excessive time doing an assignment in music if I didn't like doing it. Could I be less busy? Sure. But that's not the appeal Swat has to so many people. Of course Swat sometimes is the receptacle for Ivy-rejects, who may not always have the zeal for working because something is interesting, but the majority of people work so hard -- to perfect their work -- because they legitimately enjoy the process.</p>

15

<p>There also seems to be an underlying assumption that students at colleges other than Swarthmore do not have study assignments to do. I personally do not remember any point, in my four years at college, when I did not have studying I needed to do.</p>

<p>I do not believe there is a college student in the country, at this very moment, who does not have work they should be doing.</p>

16

<p>Unless said college student happens to be on a trimester system and already finished with exams and on break for the holidays . . . :)</p>

17

<p>Indeed. Although a whole bunch of them probably got extensions on papers!</p>

<p>I know Swarthmore graduates who still have papers due from sophmore year!</p>

18

<p>I am currently a senior at Swat and would definitely call myself a perfectionist. I really appreciated banana's post above. </p>

<p>I work hard in (large) part because I love what I do - but working because you're a perfectionist and working because you love what you do are not mutually exclusive. That said, I work harder than I should or, honestly, probably have to. Early on in my time here (and at one particular summer language intensive program...), I realized that if I put a massive amount of effort into tasks that I do, the results that I get are very good (I have almost a 4.0 - I didn't come in expecting this or even wanting this). Once I get good results, I do not want to stop getting these results, resulting in a feedback loop of sorts. </p>

<p>This semester has been somewhat different since I am taking a lighter courseload in the interest of writing my thesis and applying to graduate school (speaking of places where perfectionist tendencies are not necessarily a boon for the psyche...) but still. I had hoped from the beginning that Swarthmore would clean out my perfectionist tendencies but it didn't. But of course, I would not say that the school made things worse by any stretch of the imagination (I was like this in high school and would probably have been even worse at another school where the bar is a bit lower). And of course, it is not an institution or a student body or an academic environment's responsibility to get me to stop being a perfectionist: it is a habit acquired over a lifetime and it will be up to me to get over it.</p>

<p>At any rate, the school encourages people to do their best and does not expect perfection (at the first meeting in LPAC during orientation week, Bob Gross had us raise our hands if we thought we had perfectionist tendencies and said to us, "well, don't!", heh). The pass/fail semester was helpful, definitely, and this even carried over into the subsequent spring semester: if you can work through the perfectionist tendencies at this point (and make your work stick) this is a wonderful opportunity to do so.</p>

<p>And I would certainly agree with the above posters who say that students here enjoy the work - goodness knows I do. But it's a delicate balance, working because you're interested and excited and want to know more, and working because you can't stop yourself.</p>

<p>I tried working through this issue with Psych Services - but the reward that I have from doing very well outweighed my full understanding that I would be happier and calmer if I didn't worry so much. </p>

<p>And there's my story. Moral of it: perfectionism can be very hard to get rid of, and I have not yet, but I would not have gone to any other school (neither because I thought I could have a better experience - I have had a wonderful one- nor because I honestly think my perfectionist tendencies would have worked themselves out any better elsewhere).</p>

19

<p>yaluus:</p>

<p>Congratulations on the almost 4.0 GPA at Swarthmore. That is a very impressive accomplishment and I know that you worked your tail off. That's like breaking par on US Open golf course.</p>

20

<p>

This is what I'm afraid of--if Swarthmore overwhelms me, then I can easily give up the perfectionism, but like you, I don't think I have the will to get out of a feedback loop--the reward for all the stress is too great.</p>

<p>But you also sound happy with your experience at Swarthmore, which paradoxically alleviates my anxiety. Thank you very much for sharing your story.</p>

<p>And of course, if Swat rejects me, I don't have anything to worry about. ;)</p>