I just read through a thread about this, but it was focused on the roommate situation. My question is just: is this something that is usually allowed on college campuses, or is there usually rules against it and people just usually break them?
If it depends on the college, is there a way I could find the information without contacting someone about it? College is Northwestern, if anybody knows specifically about it.
Look at their web site. There should be a page with dorm rules.
At most colleges, having an overnight guest of a different gender than yours is totally fine as long as your roommates agree to it. Northwestern’s student handbook [url=<a href=“http://www.northwestern.edu/student-conduct/shared-assets/studenthandbook.pdf%5Ddoes”>http://www.northwestern.edu/student-conduct/shared-assets/studenthandbook.pdf]does not explicitly mention anything about student gender/url, which is usually a good indicator that gender is NOT an issue.
There are still some colleges that do care about this - for example, at my undergrad college (Spelman) male overnight guests were not allowed, although I’m not sure if they have changed that policy (I graduated almost 10 years ago).
If I remember the rules correctly, at my college, anyone who is in your room has to be gone by 4 AM (pretty late in my opinion!) And if they are sleeping over, the person inviting them + the roommate have to fill out a form 2 days in advance. The roommate has to agree to the person sleeping over, so they can refuse to sign the form if it makes them uncomfortable.
However, people do break the rules all the time. One of my past roommates had guys over every now and then and I wasn’t cool with it, but I let it slide because I didn’t want to start problems. I know RAs who have broken the rules too, so it’s definitely possible. Just make sure your roommate doesn’t tell an RA or RHD because then you’ll get in trouble.
I would call the admissions office or housing office and ask what their policy is. I’m a college tour guide for the admissions office, and we’re trained on knowing this information, so someone should definitely be able to tell you.
Northwestern: No problem having a guest of the opposite sex spend the night providing (per school rules):
“A resident may have overnight guests, limited to one guest per resident at any one time with approval of all roommates/suitemates. Overnight guest privileges are limited to a maximum of three consecutive nights and a total of seven nights per resident per quarter. A guest is defined as any person who does not have a contract to live in a given space.
A resident may host non-overnight guests at any time with approval of all roommates/suitemates. All guests who are not residents of the building must be escorted by a resident at all times and must be registered with the security monitor on duty.
No individual resident, overnight guest, or visitor may use the residence hall’s washroom facilities designated for use by the opposite sex.”
http://www.northwestern.edu/living/about-us/policies/policies-and-procedures/index.html
Most schools are pretty easy going about this stuff.
@doschicos if I am sharing a semi private bathroom with someone, is that person considered my suite mate?
I’d reach out to the residential housing office and ask. You don’t need to identify yourself, just say you are an incoming first year.
It is dependent on the college, but this is usually something that is discussed among roommates, and they come up with something that works out for them.
@shawnspencer don’t have a roommate… trying to decide if I should discuss it with the person I am sharing a bathroom with. It’s not a suite so it’s just the shared bathroom.
I think you should let them know in advance but I wouldn’t think of it as needing their permission. To clarify: you have no other shared space with this person aside from the bathroom, correct? (e.g. no kitchen, no living room, etc)
@aoontobecolleger - Does your dorm floor have a group, community or guest bath? Something someone can use that isn’t your semi-private bathroom? I know that is offered in some dorms.
@iwannabe_Brown I won’t know for sure until next month but, from what I’ve heard, it sounds like it’s just the bathroom, and all other common areas are shared by everyone in the dorm (all 70 something of us)
@doschicos I don’t know. I think everyone else in the dorm has suites, but idk if there is anything extra. And there are only 2 rooms on my floor (me and the person I’m sharing the bathroom with)
Ahhhhhh well I see. Most colleges I guess don’t have specific restrictions against it, especially since it is your own space and you don’t have a roommate. Given what is written above, and assuming that you are the one with the overnight guest, I would assume that it is courteous to let your people sharing the bathroom know ahead of time - or just establishing an overnight policy with them. Bathrooms are fairly private and you could always just lock the door or use a public bathroom on a different floor, so I can’t imagine it being too big of an issue.
Again, a quick phone call to res life could probably answer your questions about your specific building and bathroom set ups. If not on your own floor, somewhere in the building there are bound to be restrooms for use by guests and others.