Personal Statement for Penn State 2014

<p>Hey guys, I wanted to know what do you think about my personal statement for this years application. I would appreciate your help, thank you very much!</p>

<p>Please tell us something about yourself, your experiences, or activities that you believe would reflect positively on your ability to succeed at Penn State. This is your opportunity to tell us something about yourself that is not already reflected in your application or academic records. We suggest a limit of 500 words or fewer.</p>

<p>I have been shaped by the journey I've been embarked on for the last 17 years. I'm proud to say that my journey has been full of failure. Perhaps you wonder why I might be so proud of my failures just as I am about my successes. It is only for the fact that both have been an enormous contribution in making me who I am today. I am confident to say that I am caring, intelligent, and a self motivated individual and that I will never give up on my dreams because I recognize that talent I withhold.</p>

<p>Coming from such a conflicted country as Colombia, I have come to know the meaning of struggle. Back there, my single parent family struggled a lot. My mom was not able to work so we were very dependent on what my father felt like was enough to keep me healthy and "happy". Of course it was never enough. This stage in my life was where I feel like I experienced one of my first successes. It was a time where life was unjust, but she was the person I admired the most and I knew that making her happy would make me happy too. So I did that, I worked at school, and kept myself out of trouble. I made her feel the warmth of her motherhood, I proved to her that she was all I needed and, that she was doing everything right.</p>

<p>One of the most recent failures occurred here, in the home of the brave. I failed to accept myself only because I feared the perception others would have of me. In today's society, being bisexual is too often seen as taboo and in my parents case, it would be that bisexuals are just polygamous people. Both mentalities advertised me to become very reserved with my feelings as well as obligating me to build an automatic filter in the things I share with other people. During this time I often felt very alone and found myself sneaking around and lying, only to shield the world from who I was. With time, I was able to break down those concrete walls and admit to everyone who I was. I have grown and I have bloomed, and I have learned to escape the boundaries others set me up.</p>

<p>My journey has been memorable. When I go back to reflect on the decisions I have made throughout my life I cannot help but feel waves of gratitude. I am excited for all the knowledge and experiences that I will come across in my future. I feel overwhelmed with happiness when I look in the distance, to all the land I have yet to travel. Everyday I am one step closer to achieving my dream to become Doctor, so I can help all those who have stumbled on their own journey. I know that If I have made it this far, then I can make it to the end.</p>

<p>This prompt is asking that you share a personal experience/story which shows Penn State how you would contribute to Penn’s community and to show you and Penn are good fit for each other. I do not believe your essay answer the prompt and therefore suggest you return to the drawing board and start over.</p>

<p>In your essay, you mentioned you want to be a doctor. Consider sharing another personal experience that influence this decision, the insights you’ve gained and how these insights will help you contribute to Rutger’s community. Research in-depth about Rutger’s curriculum and campus culture so that you can demonstrate you really know Penn well.</p>

<p>If you want to keep your original essay topic, then I suggest you discard most of paragraph 1 and 2. Share a personal story of HOW you broke the “concrete wall” and HOW you’ve specifically grown and escape the boundaries.</p>

<p>This Penn State link might give you some ideas.
<a href=“About — Office of the Vice Provost for Educational Equity”>http://equity.psu.edu/about&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p&gt;

<p>Hope this helps. Best of luck!</p>