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[quote]
A.S.A.P.--- I talked to my mom like the way you told me to... she got EXTREMELY mad and walked away from me...</p>
<p>All she just said was: "You are just dreaming! They (ABCDE University) already rejected you!"
[/quote]
This could have been predicted; as I wrote before, don't argue with people in this frame of mind, it just makes it worse.</p>
<p>It's not that she's intending to make you miserable with her comments, which is why you suddenly raising this seems like an attack to her. It's her way of protecting herself against hoping her daughter gets into a great school and having her hopes dashed. So when you dispute it and ask her not to do it you're trying to take something away from her, from her point of view. It's not about you, really, it's about how SHE sees the world and tries to protect herself from it.</p>
<p>Read those links I posted, hopefully they will help you. And practice non-commital responses that don't challenge her but don't sell yourself out either. So mom says "they sounded down on you; I think they're going to reject you" you can reply "Well, you talked to them". What does this mean, really? Nothing. She doesn't see it as attacking her defenses, and you don't have to feel bad for selling yourself out by agreeing with her. She says "its ok to get into the lower tier schools" and you reply "those schools can provide a good education, can't they?" Again, a sidestep without aggravating her or you.</p>
<p>And BTW never accuse her of being negative to protect herself unless you want to seriously damage your relationship. There's lots of truth's we hide from ourselves, and neither you nor I are therapists. Just let her be, and realize she can no more help the way she is than you can the way you are.</p>