<p>my sympathies to you and everyone in your predicament. Hard as it is to believe, the parents want what's best for you, they just have VERY dysfunctional ways of trying to achieve it. And it comes out in many ways. </p>
<p>For some people, negative predictions are a way of warding off disappointment. So for general_li's mom, maybe at times past there were big disappointments; rather than building up her hopes anymore, she prefers to build a shell and predict failure always. If a failure happens it doesn't hurt as much since she "knew" it was coming, and if things work out it is a pleasant surprise! To people with this outlook the world is a dangerous and unpredictable place; they rob themselves of joy because even when things are going well they know a problem is just around the corner.</p>
<p>For summerskter, some people have poor motivational styles. They seem to think that by telling someone they're doomed to mediocrity it will motivate them to change. You gotta wonder why they just don't come out and say "I think you should do X & Y" instead of saying "you're going to fail", but hey. So instead of saying "I think you should turn off the TV and study now" she'll say "You're just going to end up at the local CC". And if your mom is a naturally nervous or anxious person these books just pour gas on the fire. Nobody sells a book by saying "relax, things will work out fine"; instead they trumpet alarming statistics and then promise that only if you follow their advice can you succeed. Good marketing, but not good for those who fall for it.</p>
<p>But the thing to keep in mind is that it's not you, it's them. You're stuck listening to them, but it doesn't mean you have to believe them and internalize what they're saying. Don't argue with them, it just makes it worse (as you've no doubt discovered!). An excellent article about dealing with negative people is at <a href="http://wiki.ehow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People%5B/url%5D">http://wiki.ehow.com/Deal-With-Impossible-People</a></p>
<p>Also, take a look at the ABCD method of disputing irrational thoughts. Not for arguing with your mom (that isn't going to help!), but for what you say to yourself. This approach is used in cognitive therapy approaches because the root problem of a lot of people who are depressed or lacking self-esteem is their self-talk. You probably aren't in these categories, but learning and practicing the technique is a good innoculant against problems after a session with your mom that leaves you fuming. An informative article is at <a href="http://www.long-beach.med.va.gov/Our_Services/Patient_Care/cpmpbook/cpmp-10.html%5B/url%5D">http://www.long-beach.med.va.gov/Our_Services/Patient_Care/cpmpbook/cpmp-10.html</a> </p>
<p>One key take-away is that other people can't make us upset, only WE can!! This dates back to at least the Greek philosopher Epictetus who said he said, "We are not hurt by the events that happen to us, but, by how we view them." By following the advice in these 2 articles you can avoid upsetting yourself when mom chimes in.</p>