Phone calls to coaches

My son is very social, and can carry on a conversation with a fence post. But he is pretty nervous about calling coaches. Any advice about how those normally go and what he should do to prepare? I think he is just nervous because he feels like he doesn’t want to mess up. Also he is a sophomore, and feels a bit like they will be annoyed he is calling them this early. I think he will do fine, but any advice about how the calls go or about encouraging him would be appreciated.

It is primarily Ivy and NECSAC schools if that matters. He needs to call because we will be on the East Coast next month and we would like to do some unofficial visits.

Thanks.

He can email them first and then they’ll suggest a call - having them start off the conversation makes it a easier flow.

Flash cards. Think of things the coaches will ask - grades, test scores, club team info, h.s. team info, athletic stats - and write them down. The questions will all be similar.

He should also write down your travel info. “I’ll be in Maine from June 3 to 8. I’d love to come by campus and tour it, and meet you. Are you available?” If he’s told the coach is only available on Tues, and you have something else available on Tues, will he know how to respond? “Is anyone else going to be around?” “Let me try to rearrange things to see if I can make Tues work.”

Have bullet points /notes of things he wants to ask about and to make sure to bring up about himself. Practicing running through the introduction/“elevator speech” can give them confidence once they are actually on the phone.

One of the hardest things for teen boys to learn is how to go “off book” – or maybe it’s just my kid. My kid had a few “go to” questions about the program. One time in a coach meeting, my kid asked about one of those topics even though the coach had more or less covered it in his own spiel. Coach tore into him for it. My kid is even keeled, respectful, but getting criticized in a stressful situation like a coach meeting was a real challenge. You can bet he didn’t repeat that mistake.

Not sure if the timing rules are different in your sport, but in swimming, during sophomore year my kid could email the coach, but the coach could not email back until July 1 before her junior year. She could call the coach, but he could not return her call until July 1 before senior year. We were in a similar situation as you, though, wanting to do an unofficial visit in April of her sophomore year, i.e., before coaches could call or email her back. So, we first made sure that she was at least potentially a good swim fit for the school we were visiting (we weren’t going to ask the Texas coach, for instance, to show us around!). Then she and her club coach both emailed the college coach with her background and times and said she would be visiting the campus on X date. College coach told her club coach to have her call him the day before the visit to set up a time, and club coach relayed that message. She called college coach the day before the visit, and he told her when and where to go when we got to campus. The coach could not have been more gracious on the phone (they’re used to nervous high school kids!) or in person. Once July 1 rolled around, he started emailing her every once in a while to check in. He’s since come to a meet to watch her swim, and she will do an OV there in the fall. Every coach we’ve talked with has said that they start following swimmers during their junior year, so if you want to be on their radar, it is advisable to get on it before or early in your junior year. My daughter also was a little nervous that she was too early, but that has not been the case. She made another round of unofficial visits spring of her junior year and expects to take OVs to a couple more of those schools as well.

I am sure there are coaches who are jerks, and there are plenty more who are just too flaky to respond in a timely manner, but we have not run into any coaches who were rude or have made my daughter feel uncomfortable or unwelcome. It probably helps that she is in an objective sport, though–times are times, and it’s easy enough to know if you may be a good athletic fit.

I did sit right next to my daughter when she made that first phone call, but she’s done all of the rest on her own.

Thanks for all the advice. He is a wrestler, but I think his sport operates on pretty much the same time frames as swimming. A few superstars are already verbally committed, but for the mere mortals the coaches want to see how the junior year goes. And you are exactly right that the reason for the calls is that the D1 coaches can’t email us back.

I think that maybe I will have him email coaches but ask them to reply to his high school coach. The added benefit would be me hopefully being able to pick a day, I have a feeling I will spend the week criss-crossing back and forth over New England. His high school coach has been very supportive, he is a former college coach and thinks my son should be shooting for mid to high end D1 (I’m a little less enthusiastic, but agree that he is a very legit prospect). I would love it if a college coach called the high school coach, he’s my son’s biggest fan, both on and off the mat.

In my view, a line is the shortest distance between two points. I don’t think I would have the coach reply to your son’s high school coach. That increases the likelihood that nothing gets accomplished – it would at least at our high school. Even if the wrestling coach is super supportive, his role is as a reference not to make the introduction.

Keep it simple. Have your son craft an email to the head coach saying a few things about his wrestling and academic accomplishments. Not everything, just a few highlights. You want to hold back details to submit with later emails. add a sentence why he is so interested in ______________ college. Then say that you are going to be in the area and would like to set up a meeting.

Wait one week, Then call and set up the meeting. The email gives your son a starting point with a phone call. “I hope you received my email. We are going to be in the area the second week of June, I was hoping that we could meet.”

But, @gointhruaphase , the college coach is not allowed to contact the students except through a club or hs coach. This student is a sophomore, so the student can call or email the coach but the coach can’t respond. If you call and reach the coach, great. If you call and call, and no one picks up the phone?

So here is what we did. There are 3 D1 coaches that he emailed last night. He has emailed all 3 his information about a month ago. He gave an update on his performance last week at the state tournament, and then gave a date that he would like to visit, also giving the range of days we are on the East Coast. He asked them to contact his high school coach to let us know if they were available and interested in meeting. I think Friday if we haven’t heard back he will call and try to get through that way. There is also a D3 coach he has been corresponding back in forth with, S just asked him to let us know directly if that date would work.

I will let everyone know how it goes. This seems like the kind of thread that will be useful in the future for others in the same situation.

My DD is too chicken to call any coaches. She set up visits by email and then talked to the coaches in person. No one suggested she call. Some recruits in her sport(softball) were recruited and never called a coach. So I don’t think it is mandatory.They are all busy! One girl told us that she called the coach every week “but she didn’t seem to want to talk to me!” that sounds pretty useless!

Yeah, he is swamped with end of school year stuff, and of course practice. So far we are 2/4 for getting meetings set up without a phone call. So far the other 2 coaches are silent, although one​ of them has corresponded in the past so I’m hoping for an answer one way or the other. We will see what the next couple of days bring. S is asking me to leave one of the 2 days open to just visit NY as a tourist, so maybe we just let the chips fall where they may.

I don’t believe there are any restrictions on when a coach can communicate with a high school student in Division III, other than off campus. NCAA 13.02.10.2, 13.02.11.1. Unlimited unofficial visits (such as a meeting with a coach on the recruit’s dime) are permitted.

If you can successfully bring your high school coach into the loop, go for it, but I don’t think it is necessary from a compliance perspective in Division III. For us, the scheduling aspect alone would have made that difficult (e.g., I can do 10 am. Does that work for you? 10 am will be tough. How about 12 noon).

I always felt on campus meetings were the best option for recruiting because they give an opportunity to size up the coach and vice versa. Often the coach takes you on a tour, showing you the athletic highlights. The meetings allow for the free flow of information from a parent’s perspective like, “can my kid get into this school,” “are you interested in him as an athlete” “can I afford this school.” For the coach, I think it is telling commitment-wise when a kid shows up on his own dime for a meeting. Conversely, the coach call tell a lot about a kid from his questions (e.g., the question how many players are science majors may signal academic interests that could conflict with the sport).

Have your son practice a five minute elevator speech before the meeting. Have him prepare three questions in advance. He will be grateful for the practice afterward.

Yep, D3 coach was easy. One D1 basically replied that he can’t really talk via email, but that he would see us at 9:00 on the date we requested and we could talk more then. Another D1 replied to the high school coach. So after 3 days we are 3/4 for getting the appointments set. Will probably call the last coach if we need to. If he can’t meet will try to add in someone else.

We are driving half way across the country, and there just isn’t a logistically reasonable way to do this trip without a ton of windshield time. We will have hours to talk about what to say and how to say it. Plus a few hours on the way to each school to refresh on what makes then unique. My personal first choice is one of the coaches we have lined up. I hope S and coach agree with my assessment when they meet. But it’s pretty early, who knows where the process will lead

4/4 on using email to set up appointments with coaches, with a bit of assistance from the HS coach. S is very relieved to be able to skip phone call! Hopefully after he talks to a few of these coaches face to face he will realize that they aren’t really that scary to call either.

If you haven’t already made one, have your son draft up a college resume. The resume should include GPA, board scores, academic awards, AP classes taken, athletic awards and accomplishments, employment and clubs/interests. Also, don’t forget to request well in advance an unofficial transcript from your registrar. Many high school registrars do close for the summer. You want to get end of year grades on the transcript if possible. Be sure to bring both to the meetings.

Thanks for advice. He has done the resume, and has film up on youtube. We have a transcript, but that is a good idea for me to talk to them before school is out to see how we can get an updated one. It took forever to get this one, so I probably need to start the process now to get one for summer.