<p>I was wondering if anyone has some tips as to how I can regain some confidence in my playing. I'm currently feeling a bit discouraged by my teacher, and I need to find a way to feel more confident and motivated so I can do well in an important audition I have next week. </p>
<p>Does anyone have any advice? </p>
<p>Thank you.</p>
<p>That's a tough one, Cosmos. I don't know if this will work for you, but it sometimes does for me.</p>
<p>I am more of a singer than an instrumentalist and I divide my playing time among far too many instruments to be really proficient on any of them. That means that I am nowhere near your level on any of the instruments that I do attempt to play and have far less confidence to lose than you do. When I feel particularly bad about my playing, however, I take a half day off the normal routine for a "back to basics" workout. </p>
<p>I start by working on basic sound. For that, I look for a nice, large, reverberant room in which to play some long tones and just concentrate on making the sound as pretty as possible. Nothing too high in pitch, and neither very loud nor very soft in volume. Play in the sweet spot of the instrument and bliss out on the sound for a while.</p>
<p>Once that is going well, I start doing slow scales and try to keep the sound going while concentrating on getting the pitch spot on. </p>
<p>Once I am happy with several scales, I play something that falls under the fingers nicely, but that is interesting rhythmically. I start out well under tempo and slowly bring up the speed until it feels about right.</p>
<p>Then I pick an old favorite that is memorized and play it either in complete darkness or (if it is daylight) with my eyes closed. I try not to think about the technical stuff at all, rather I just try to get all of the emotion and feeling I possibly can into the music.</p>
<p>Finally, I know a few duets that lift my mood whenever I play them. I try to get together with a really good player of a different instrument than mine for an hour or so and work on a couple of fun duets.</p>
<p>By then, I usually have reconnected with whatever it was that got me started playing music in the first place and I am ready to go back and work on the piece that made me lose confidence.</p>
<p>I don't know what instrument you play, but this is EXTREMELY helpful on the guitar, and probably could be adapted to fit other instruments, it's called "Jon Damian's Incredible Time Machine Study":</p>
<p>Whenever you are having "I SUCK" syndrome, it can really revitalize you to remember how it was in the beginning, and how far you've come. But wouldn't it be even better if you not only remembered how it was way back when you started your instrument, but also relived the experience? On the guitar (and probably a host of other instruments), you can. </p>
<p>Simply flip the guitar over and start playing it lefty (or righty, if already were a lefty - this could probably work well with all stringed instruments). Fret with your bowing/picking hand, and pick/bow with your fretting hand. This sounds dumb and will feel SURPRISINGLY awkward, but it really does work! This is the feeling you had when you first tried to play your instrument! Now try to play things that you thought were incredibly easy before in your new "back in time" mode - it's actually pretty difficult. This makes you appreciate just how far you've come. Music is a really hard task, and to even consider auditioning for music schools means that you have come really far.</p>
<p>Like I said, it will probably need to be adapted to fit other instruments, but the "Time Machine Study" really helps me a lot.</p>
<p>Ask you have any questions! Good luck.</p>
<p>Cosmos, I have heard teachers give my kids the following two tips. My 3 kids have had multiple teachers on two instruments each. Yet the advice always seems to center on these two things. I'll bet you've heard it from your teachers, too.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Focus on the next note.<br>
If you are uber-aware of mistakes as you are playing, that might mean you are focused on what you did, rather than what you are going to do. My middle kid is especially good at this. It is funny to watch him listen to a recording of himself. "I didn't know I missed that note!" </p></li>
<li><p>Play for yourself.
That is, play to please yourself. My kids have had to learn this after realizing that every teacher, judge, or audience, has different interpretations and expectations. They could never satisfy everyone. So they aim for their own standards. They are much more apt to be upset by not playing well than by "losing". This also allows them to tap into that love of music that has brought them to this point, and they have an easier time blocking out the world. When they focus on the joy of playing, that joy comes through.</p></li>
</ol>
<p>And I'll add my own opinion for #3. I know you attend a great school, and probably have one of the best teachers in the world. But if you feel your teacher's negative comments are bringing you down, you probably need to find someway to verbalize this. Sometimes, just shyly saying, "Am I doing anything right?" after a barrage of criticism is enough to make the teacher realize they need to do some bolstering. Or coming to the teacher and saying frankly, "I'm having a crisis of confidence. How can I fix it?" Teachers love to be asked questions. It shows respect and interest on the part of the student.</p>
<p>And I think you need to pep-talk yourself, too. There are not many musicians who get to your level. There is a reason you did -- you're good. Your bad days are what some of us can only dream of accomplishing. So what if you're not #1 in the world every day. You're up there. If your teacher is being picky, it's because he/she sees your potential!</p>
<p>Thanks for your input. </p>
<p>I'm definitely feeling discouraged by my teachers comments which are usually very focused on negatives. I don't know if I should be considering switching teachers or not. There's another teacher who teaches at a school nearby who I'd love to study with, but I don't want to jump ship on my current teacher if it isn't necessary.</p>
<p>Cosmos, you know that teacher mentor/student relationship is a critical factor.</p>
<p>You have shown yourself to be highly accomplished, as binx said. While your current instructor may be developing your talents further, you do have to weigh the negativism.</p>
<p>Some teach this way, some don't. It works for some students, and not for others. You have to begin to weigh whether the comments, style of your current instructor are acting more as a negative influence than a positive on.</p>
<p>There may come a point where it begins to generate self-doubt within you, or make you begin to fear, possibly even hate practicing and lessons.</p>
<p>You might try broaching your feelings with him. You may also attempt to get assessments of his style and other student's experiences with him.</p>
<p>He may well acknowledge and recognize your concerns and attempt to accomodate. If he's been teaching awhile, this just may be his personality and style. It may be cast in stone.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>It's important to find a balance that feels comfortable to you. A teacher who only praises doesn't teach too much, IMO. And yet, students tend to take to heart what their teachers say, so too much criticism can really be internalized and become a self-fulfilling prophecy. </p>
<p>I think violadad's idea of asking others in your studio is a good idea. NOT to become a gossip session or a beat-up-on-the-teacher time, but only to admit to discouragement, and to find out what others are experiencing. Perhaps you will find out that others went through periods like that, and got through it and were better for it. That might give you hope. </p>
<p>Is this the private teacher at your school? Do you have control over switching studios? Or is this someone outside of school. If outside, and you have alternatives, you can certainly consider them. Be aware that it is a violation of the teacher's association to "take" a student, or appear to recruit them, who is currently studying with another teacher. So you may have to quit one before another will even talk. And if they are friends or peers, one might refuse to take someone from the other studio.</p>
<p>But I think the first step is to try to talk to your current teacher. Tell him/her that you need more strokes. Nothing is more frustrating than to have a student quit when you didn't even know they were unhappy! If he/she is unwilling to change, then he/she will probably be more accepting of you switching to another teacher.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the insights. </p>
<p>I don't go to a conservatory, so there aren't private instrumental instructors here. I study with a teacher at another school who's taken me as a private student. I have someone in mind who I'd want to switch to if that ends up happening. </p>
<p>Because I don't attend the school my teacher teaches at, I don't know anyone else who studies with him full time. I do know a student who had periodic lessons with him, and this student told me that he's had some bad lessons with my teacher, too. </p>
<p>I'm going to see how things work out for the rest of the year. If things don't get any better, I'll switch. If they do get better, I'll probably just stick with my current teacher and perhaps see the other teacher periodically, too.</p>
<p>I was going to throw my two cents in just as a parent and say that sometimes giving something a little longer than you are wanting to ends up getting you beyond an impasse to a new insight that you wouldn't have reached if you had jumped ship too soon. But, it looks like you figured that out already! Good luck.</p>
<p>Cosmos, I decided my kid needed to switch teachers for almost precisely the reasons you are dealing with. S was in 9th grade at the time. We also did the switch over the summer. S was leaving for a summer program. Teachers are used to kids dropping back or out in the summer, so it seemed a natural end. Although there is still a chance you will, as jazzzmomm put it, get past this impasse.</p>
<p>And I have to apologize - I thought you were at a conservatory.</p>
<p>Cosmos, binx said: <it's important="" to="" find="" a="" balance="" that="" feels="" comfortable="" you.="" teacher="" who="" only="" praises="" doesn't="" teach="" too="" much,="" imo.="" and="" yet,="" students="" tend="" take="" heart="" what="" their="" teachers="" say,="" so="" much="" criticism="" can="" really="" be="" internalized="" become="" self-fulfilling="" prophecy.=""> </it's></p>
<p>Indeed. Remember, the best teachers are objective, yet demanding. They can be critical, but should not be demeaning. Criticism should instructive, illustrative, and not make a student begin to question all that has been learned before (particularly true if the student is playing at a high level; less true if the attempts are made to correct earlier learned serious flaws).</p>
<p>"Corrective" changes being introduced should be explained thoroughly, and address the "why", particularly to serious, high level performers who have already achieved a recognition of skills by acceptance into competitive high level schools, programs, festivals, etc.</p>
<p>Just saying "do it my way" doesn't work, without providing the reasons why. There are often alternative approaches to the end result.</p>
<p>Cosmos, it sounds as if you are taking the negative comments way too much to heart. I had a violin teacher once who was incredibly negative...it was always something...the bow hand, the shift....he was constantly picking. When I called him on it one day after playing decently but still getting criticized for something, he looked surprised and said, "darling heart (in a strong Russian accent), I correct you because you need correcting. If you were hopeless, I would not bother. I would tell you everything was lovely. I criticize you because there IS hope." So I started taking his criticism as compliments. We got along fine after that...My son has had some teachers who have been very hard on him. He has learned to take it in stride and shrug it off. In fact, he can't stand the overly positive ones who never correct anything because he says it's useless. You are obviously an excellent bassist. You have to know that internally and be very sure of your own ability. You should not let anyone...teacher or ANYONE else shake your confidence.</p>
<p>Yeah, you're right. Thank you!!</p>
<p>Cosmos,
We know that you work twice as hard as everyone else in your studio to get to your teacher, and I imagine that these efforts go unappreciated. I recall that you mentioned you attend a school across town, making it very difficult to know the other people in the studio. So, in addition to commuting across town with a bass in hand, you don't have the support of the members of the studio. </p>
<p>Bearing your situation in mind, it is easy to see how criticism by a teacher could bring you down. With an entire studio to support her, and a commute of only 5 minutes on foot, my D had 2 horrible months last year when her teacher made a negative comment once at a lesson. She swore it would never happen again and I don't think she stopped practicing long enough to sleep for 2 months! She finally came to the realization that how she plays is all up to her, had nothing to do with what the teacher said-that he was in a mood that day, and she now says she over-reacted. Even though perhaps he could have said it more nicely, his comments were intended as info to use, not a judgment about her playing over the years and certainly not intended to throw her into a tizzy. Keep in mind, YOU are the one that won NYSOS, amongst the great number of other awards to your credit. What a coup and compliment about your talent! You have always worked hard on your music and until this moment, have felt good about your hard work. And you have accomplished amazing things. Take the details of his comments, assess their value and apply it, but don't forget who you are! </p>
<p>Keep your head up, your spirits high and move forward. You may have a deficit of local support, but a plethera of support exists here!</p>