<p>I suspect she mostly needed to vent, but I received a call from my daughter today which left me, as a non-musician, at a total loss. She had just left the practice room and was feeling very dissatisfied with her practice and said she's felt that way most of the quarter. </p>
<p>Issue #1 seemed to be that she felt she wasn't "connecting" with her music. She said that while she likes the songs and feels they are challenging without being overwhelming, she feels as if she's technically proficient but not "feeling" them. My daughter has talked with her vocal professor, and she doesn't seem to think my daughter's performance at this point is obviously lacking...but my daughter was quite distressed. Is this something that vocalists face on occasion, and is there a way to work through it?</p>
<p>Issue #2 is something she's mentioned before (and I think is mostly a case of jitters before opera auditions). She is a mezzo and said she feels as if she's always going to be an "art song" singer, rather than an "opera" singer. (The irony is that she really doesn't plan on going into performance, but she still wants to be her very best.) She hears the lyric/coloraturas in their practice rooms and finds herself comparing her voice rather unfavorably. I personally think it's a case of comparing apples to oranges, but other than giving her a verbal kick in the backside, I never quite know how to respond. I did suggest she listen to some of her CDs of mezzos if she needs a reminder of the possibilities for mezzos, and I reminded her that her college obviously thought enough of her talent/potential to offer her a substantial vocal scholarship. </p>
<p>Any thoughts on what to say when one's kid is feeling inadequate?</p>
<p>I have no experience with care and feeding of vocalists; my son is a string player, and I am not a musician, my knowledge and experience drawn from seeing my son and some of his friends and peers develop over a number of years.</p>
<p>He has always been fairly confident in his abilities, and so far has been close to or at the top of the food chain within his educational and festival experiences. He's also seen his share of rejections at festivals and a small number of professional orchestral auditions. </p>
<p>But he is extremely hard on himself in trying to achieve perfection.</p>
<p>The slightest flaw in a performance, however miniscule, eats at him internally. You can see it in his face and his demeanor afterwards. Rarely will he vocalize it. </p>
<p>All I can do is ask him if he prepared properly and played to the best of his ability.</p>
<p>So far, he has always answered yes, and then he moves on. </p>
<p>I think this self-examination is a critical part of developing a high level talent and is probably far more constructive than assuming that "I'm the best prima donna attitude". </p>
<p>As long as it's not self defeating, I see the self-examination as part of the process. As long as it doesn't become self-doubt or second guessing, it's a positive.</p>
<p>It's a tough road, with stiff competition and bad odds. All we can do is to be honest and supportive, and be there when they need us.</p>
<p>It sounds like you are doing what you can to support her through this. You really can't compare voices, as there are so many differentials ... not just between range, but also between power level, etc. </p>
<p>Hugs to you both. All she needs is one good rehearsal to feel better!</p>
<p>Sometimes the studio is not the right fit. If the professor cannot understand her, is there someone else who can? </p>
<p>I know that DD has to connect to the music and has discarded songs that did not work for her even when I thought they were lovely. Her current studio professor seems to connect well with her and fortunately the song selections seem to be a good match so we are not in that situation. But she has discarded music teacher suggestions in the past. It seemed to me that the selections were always to be discussed. Is your D afraid to assert herself on the song selections? Is there an opportunity to explore changing studios in the future if she is not comfortable?</p>
<p>I also thing mezzos have it tough to start. Sometimes we joke about it but it is hard. Sympathy may be all you can give her.</p>
<p>Singersmom, I did ask her about her studio prof...and that doesn't seem to be the issue. She adores her studio teacher, and this is the first time where her selections just don't seem "right." My daughter doesn't expect to love every song she sings, even when she's in on the selections, but she said usually she can find something in every song that "makes it work." </p>
<p>I just talked to my daughter again and since I'm visiting tomorrow, I suggested she just plan on not practicing this weekend. Normally, I would never dream of suggesting such a thing, but I think she may actually be over-thinking her situation right now, and a break would be helpful. And I do think Violadad may be right about the perfectionism...when she was younger, I always had to remind her to come up with positive aspects of her performance when self-evaluating. My daughter was great at dismantling a performance, and it took some effort to learn to reflect on the positives. (I remember after one performance, one of her positives was, "Well, I didn't throw up on stage from nerves"!) This might be time for another reminder about coming up with positive elements.</p>
<p>My D, a vocalist, is also very hard on herself. She left a voice lesson in tears several months ago announcing that she sounded terrible and was a terrible singer. This was after a 4 week bout with bronchitis. Her voice teacher called me at home that night to find out how she was doing and told me that she was thrilled that D's voice was getting back on track so quickly after her illness. Her teacher predicts that she will be a colaratura, but D is concerned about being a soprano because everyone reminds her that sopranos are a dime a dozen so she'd probably switch places with your D about now. I think part of what makes these girls so talented and such hard workers is that they are perfectionists. They just have to learn to use that trait in a positive way and I think that comes with age and experience. With regard to connecting to the song, perhaps she should look at it from an acting rather than a singing perspective. Acting is a big part of opera and classical performance so it may be a "fake it till you make it" situation. All we can really do is listen and add our support. She is fortunate that she likes her studio teacher. If she would like some feedback from some seasoned professionals, she may want to look at the New Forum for Classical Singers. I know CC doesn't like for us to link other forums, so she can google it. They go through the same things and have been singing and performing for years.</p>
<p>BTW mezzomon, D and I are planning a trip to your D's school the first weekend in November and will probably go to see the Opera Scenes. If she needs a distraction, I'd love for my D to meet her.</p>
<p>A conversation with her teacher about the specific purpose of each assigned song might be helpful. Early in the training, teachers tend to chose things to master certain technical issues, provide contrasting styles, allow language diction development, fulfill overall degree repertory requirements. More mature students may pick their own music, with the teacher having veto power, and other adjacent professionals will make suggestions, too (like the coaches, opera director, other voice teachers). Your daughter may need more of an awareness of the game plan to keep her focused and involved in what she is currently being asked to do. </p>
<p>Vis-a-vis the opera versus art song singer: heavier voices do not collect and organize as early as the lighter voices. Opera arias require more advanced technique in terms of range, projection, style, etc. A light little bird voice may be able to rip of the arias in her Fach at the age of 19. However a lyric or dramatic voice, regardless of the voice type (mezzo or soprano) will not be able to produce sounds in the high range in a healthy way which match the rest of the voice until she is into her 20's, with the accessible range climbing gradually. Patience is the game. </p>
<p>Hugs to the anxious mom....it is hard to know they are struggling. Lorelei</p>
<p>Take it from another mom of a mezzo, while she may be envious walking down the practice room hall--tell her the payoff comes when she shows up later for auditions. She will find 150 sopranos standing in line for 3 roles to every 25
mezzos standing in line for 2 roles. Thats why my D was probably the only undergrad to score a lead role in her schools opera this quarter. And do have her check out the nfcs(New
Forum for Classical Singers) site,as mentioned above.</p>
<p>Another mezzo mom chiming in :) How about if she goes to the library and listens to various artists' renditions of the song. She can pick apart the text and figure out line by line what the song means to her. Can she squeeze in time with a local vocal coach (I'm assuming she is only working with a voice teacher in college) who will help her see alot more into the piece?
I think taking a few days off is a marvelous idea.</p>
<p>Aside from her teachers refusing to let her sing "Glitter and Be Gay", my daughter loves being a mezzo, lol. Your daughter will too, I'm sure! Good luck and I think being a sounding board for her anxieties the way you are doing is the best support you can give her.</p>
<p>As a lay person and neophyte to classical signing -- I would rather listen to a mezzo sing than a lyric or coloratura. The high notes and trills give me a headache after a while! </p>
<p>Why doesn't she just pick her own rep? My teacher always allows me bring things in that I've been working on. </p>
<p>And she ought to be reminded that larger and darker voices develop a hell of lot slower than little coloraturas. She's got to deal with her voice developing until she's at least 30, so she better get used to it.</p>