Please check my essay for me! My test is on this Saturday! :(

<p>Prompt:
Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and the assignment below.</p>

<p>Materialism: it's the thing that everybody loves to hate. Few aspects of modern life have been more criticized than materialism. But let's face it: materialism—acquiring possessions and spending money—is a vital source of meaning and happiness in our time. People may criticize modern society for being too materialistic, but the fact remains that most of us spend most of our energy producing and consuming more and more stuff.</p>

<p>Adapted from James Twitchell, "Two Cheers for Materialism"</p>

<p>Assignment:
Should modern society be criticized for being materialistic? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>

<hr>

<p>While a beautiful lady shops for a new lipstick, a child dies from disease and starvation. This inevitable truth is made known to a lot of people living in wealthy countries just like us, however, is often ignored and set aside. In spite of this sad fact, we still flick through the eBay website, searching for a new pair of Nike shoes. In progression from the time of great depression, the world’s economy has prospered and become fruitful. As a consequence, more people became wealthy and could now afford many things through the development of capitalism. Growth of wealth has fueled the society’s innate sense of greed – the more we have, the more we want. Today our society is aching with the disease of materialism – an insatiable desire for superficial things that does not last forever. </p>

<p>It is absolutely okay to buy yourself a cup of coffee, or a pair of shoes, when you crave a cup and when you need one. However, too much of anything is not a good sight. Research has shown that over 90% of goods produced by gigantic companies are things which satisfy the non-essential desires of human beings, such as games, flash gadgets and nail polishes. However there’s more. Over 60% of factories are producing cosmetics that are used for enhancing the pulchritude of women. These statistics are absurd, when more than 30,000 children are dying each day in Africa. These children are the victims of incessant wars and greedy political conflicts. Millions of dollars are spent world wide on useless things (things that we can live without) while children are dying because they do not have a dollar to save them from starvation. This absurd situation should be mitigated and thoughtless materialism should be reprimanded. People within our society should contemplate about the real values of life. People should make wise decisions on their spending and avoid too much indulgence on things that hold its value for only a while. </p>

<p>It is a common mistake people make, to think that materialistic happiness is the best one of all. However, regardless of how attractive it sounds, money is not elixir of life. Research has shown that once your basic needs are met financially, additional income or does not bring any more happiness to your life. This proves that all the delightful things you can buy with your money – such as luxury boats, cars, fine leather wallets – do not benefit you forever. I have experienced this always in my life. When I buy the expensive camera, or shoes or an iPhone that I always wanted I do feel happiness. But that happiness does not last and I must continuously seek new things to buy for that ephemeral happiness. I have realized that my happiness is not dependent on my possessions or money. So I have concluded myself that wealth and happiness do not correlate. </p>

<p>I do not mean that all people should adopt asceticism into their life. Some degree of rational thinking and discernment will enough to make wise choices and avoid the route of materialism. It is important to keep in mind that happiness is not provided by your assets and excess materialistic behavior is worth reprobation. </p>

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<p>i wrote this in a rush so might have few grammar errors......
Please check this! Thank you!!</p>

<p>12/12 Flawless. Absolutely. Perfect.</p>

<p>most likely a 12, maybe an 11</p>

<p>somewhere around 11-12, depending on how the readers are feeling. This is a REALLY good essay for the sat- did you write all of this in 25 min? (and did it fit on the two pages?)</p>

<p>I mean, I’m just asking because I consistently wrote 2 page sat essays with ~20 sentences, and I write pretty small. This essay has 30 sentences, which is pretty darn long for the little space you have (although i guess you might just have really really tiny handwriting).</p>

<p>wow i’m so surprised. thank you so much for your commets! </p>

<p>@Dudewheresmycar
I didnt write this at the actual test, just a practice one i typed up on the computer.
so i think that explains why i could write so much :)</p>

<p>@GreedIsGood
Thank you:DDDD</p>

<p>Essay’s good. But I wouldn’t advise including statistics unless you’re absolutely sure of them.</p>