<p>Hey everyone, I would be eternally grateful if you could help review and revise my personal statement. It would be nice if you could be specific in your critiques so I know exactly what to fix. Don't hold back, be as critical as you want!! And yes, I have two threads because I have two personal statements. Thanks a ton!!</p>
<p>Prompt 2:
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?</p>
<p>My essay:
Growing up, I was a very spoiled child. Although my parents gave me everything and anything I wanted, they were still controlling. I was given every materialistic object that I desired to have, but I wasnt allowed to do everything I desired to do. The strange combination of parenting made me take advantage of my parents kindness, yet left me feeling unsatisfied about my life. I enjoyed being pampered by my parents, but I was getting tired of them constantly telling me what to do. Although we lived in the same house, I started disconnecting myself from the two people who loved me most. I occupied myself during meal times by watching T.V, I shut the door to my room to keep my parents out, and I even purposely planned hang outs with my friends during the summer just to get out of the house. In the summer before my senior year, I realized that I needed more volunteer hours. I thought to myself, What better way to get volunteer hours and get out of the house at the same time than to volunteer abroad? So I with a lot of urging, I managed to convince my parents to sign me up for a volunteer abroad program called Global Leadership Adventures. At that time, my only intent in mind was to escape my boring life at home; little did I know that I would leave the program with an unexpected life changing experience.
When I first arrived in Guatemala, I was super excited to make new friends and escape my normal, boring life. However, half way into the trip, it became way more than making new friends. I remember visiting a Guatemalan orphanage and playing with the children. I imagined myself living in their dirt poor conditions; never having enough to eat, drinking contaminated water, crying to sleep with the knowledge that they have been abandoned. Yet even while living an unfortunate life these children smile with a face happier and more appreciative than I have ever been, living in a fortunate and well-provided household. Hearing the children happily call us mommy or daddy to replace the mommy and daddy they never had made me want to see my parents. I began to think how lucky I was, compared to these children, to be born into a loving family and how many times I took that loving family for granted. Thinking back on all the times I brushed my parents off, I began to regret not spending time with them especially since I was going to college the year after. After two weeks, I went back home a changed person. I now eat dinner as a family without the T.V., I keep the doors open when Im in my room, and I plan hangouts with my mom during breaks. My experience volunteering in Guatemala has challenged me to grow and act outside of my comfort-zone. If I never joined Global Leadership Adventures, I would still be the same spoiled kid, trying to run away from the blessings I never knew I had.</p>