Please edit my essays

<p>These essays are a part of the Duke writing supplement. Please be harsh and improve them. I am very inexperienced at writing.</p>

<p>1) If you are applying to the Pratt School of Engineering as either a first year or transfer applicant, please discuss why you want to study engineering and why you would like to study at Duke. (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)</p>

<p>When I was in primary school, I had an immense passion for building things. Everyday, after school, I used to spend time in my father's garage, tinkering (and occasionally injuring) myself with the myriad objects there. Drills and screwdrivers were my toys, I liked to disassemble objects and build crazy things out of them. One summer, I created a temperature controlled watering device for the garden plants from nothing but an old toy and a fire hose. I once read in the newspaper about a foot-powered washing machine. Inspired, I ended up with not one but five such washing machines and sold them across the neighborhood. I spent weeks building and rebuilding tools which made lives of people around me a bit easier.
This passion still fuels me. It now seems logical that I pursue engineering from Pratt School to realize this dream of building a better world for everyone. (150 words)</p>

<p>2) Please discuss one of your extracurricular activities that has required a particularly significant time commitment or that has played a meaningful role in your personal development. (Please limit your response to no more than 150 words.)</p>

<p>Education has been the centre of my world since long. I saw the kids from not so well to do families in my neighborhood who attended Government schools, and found that something somewhere was lacking in them. On further analysis, I found out that none of the twenty odd kids in the neighborhood were acquainted with the basic fundamentals of their coursework. Their teachers did not care at all because they just wanted their paychecks.
I started tried to bridge this gap and started teaching a few of those kids. Eventually, their grades started rising, all owing to their dedication and belief in me. I still mentor a few students and spend around an hour with them daily.
This was beneficial for them and me, alike. I got a chance to bring out the best in the kids and also found myself a meaningful task to spend my evenings on. (150 words)</p>

<ol>
<li><p>I see your interest in engineering very clearly. I don’t see why you want to go to Duke in particular. Even if you added, “Prat is best!” it wouldn’t help. What ABOUT Pratt? Be specific.</p></li>
<li><p>I don’t yet see “a meaningful role in your personal development.” The words “beneficial” and “meaningful” don’t say very much. Again, be specific.</p></li>
</ol>

<p>thanks. I will correct them</p>