Please grade my essay :)

<p>ASSIGNMENT: Do people truly benefit from hardship and misfortune</p>

<p>Every person, as Homo Sapiens (wise man), strives for easier life devoid of any hardships and misfortunes. That is completely natural and understandable because there is no human on Earth who likes to live life in tribulations. Many people look up to those who live in prosperity and think that affluence is what makes life ideal. But only the desire for prosperity in terms of harmony of the spirit and soul is the positive aspect of that ideal. Unfortunately, too often prosperity for people means satisfying wanton desires and avarice which can eventually cause a human to become addicted to drugs, alcohol, or other vices.
...
All humans ought to have a particular goal in their lives, and to manage to achieve it in spite of the obstacles that are constantly being placed on their path. Mother Teresa, the founder of Missionaries of Charity, a Roman Catholic religious congregation, helped many people in many aspects. She ran hospices and homes for people with AIDS, soup kitchens, children's and family counseling programs, orphanages, and schools all over the world. But, while training uneducated young women of her ways of God worship and pursuing her dreams to eradicate poverty, Mother Teresa was many times accused of misusing charitable money and for maintaining positive relationships with dictators. Nevertheless, if it weren't for the steadfast efforts of Mother Teresa to oppose these vicious calumnies, primitivism would still thrive in India.
Moreover, I shall also not forget to mention the lives of the disabled who, despite their permanent injuries, still manage to compete in the Paralympics. The hardships these people suffer lead them to results even better than those who don’t have any disability. Last but not least, the latest pope Francis who now is the Bishop of Rome, head of state of Vatican City, and the leader of the worldwide Catholic Church, was only an ascetic before coming to the throne.
...
Mother Teresa and pope Francis epitomized the fact that wealth isn't the touchstone of prosperity. The examples of their lives provide an explanation for my thesis that only through difficulties and hard work can one manage to overcome the hardships and misfortunes, and allow himself/herself to benefit from them.</p>

<p>**You get a score of 3/6 ** due to sweeping generalizations and severe argumentation errors. It’s also on the borderline of getting 0/6 (zero) for being off topic. Also, if you were to hand in something like this at school, it should be an F. My criticism is a little harsh, but maybe it will help you understand your errors.</p>

<p>“Every person, as Homo Sapiens (wise man), strives for easier life devoid of any hardships and misfortunes.”</p>

<p>Sweeping generalization (logical fallacy). Do NOT make broad assumptions about what people do.</p>

<p>“That is completely natural and understandable because there is no human on Earth who likes to live life in tribulations.”</p>

<p>No!</p>

<p>"But only the desire for prosperity in terms of harmony of the spirit and soul [???] is the positive aspect of that ideal. "</p>

<p>Thesis missing: no thesis that relates to the prompt.</p>

<p>“All humans ought to have a particular goal in their lives”</p>

<p>Sweeping generalizations again. This has nothing to do with the essay question.</p>

<p>I think it’s quite well written but I don’t really see what you want to prove with your examples. It should be blatant. Try to link them to the thesis and underscore the reason why you use them.</p>

<p>It’s nearly an off-topic in my opinion.</p>

<p>I’m sorry to say this, but I completely agree with orion222, this essay is quite bad…after reading it, I have no idea what the prompt was because the essay seems like it was just random ideas strung together with no actual connection. There was no thesis, and it had a feel like you just chewed up a thesaurus and spit it out in random verbage. You have some potential, but you definitely need to word on idea development and cohesiveness of ideas. And remember–always answer the prompt!</p>