Please grade my essay!!!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Topic: Is perfection something to be admired or sought after?</p>

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<p>The incessant strive for perfectionism is commonly depicted as a vice by society. In my opinion, such views are blatantly fallacious. The never-ending drive for perfection sets high goals for over-achievers who desire to attain the pinnacle of accomplishment; 100% success. Without such high-reaching goals present in society, a plethora of signifigant discoveries would never have been made.</p>

<p>In the early 1400s, the renown physicist Copernicus labored countless hours, attempting to perfect the overly-complex Ptolemiac model of the solar system. The Ptolemiac model used a staggering amount of corrections in order for the theory to fit observations; by the mid-1400s there were over 1000 micro orbits in the Ptolemiac model. Copernicus' efforts resulted in the creation of the heliocentric model which effectively corrected the defunct Ptolemiac model. Copernicus' model accurate and simple at predicting the orbits and positions of planets that it is still used today by NASA for space missions. Without Copernicus' unfaltering belief that the solar system operated using the perfect shape: the circle, then his model would never have came to existence.</p>

<p>Furthermore, had the perfectionist Sir Issac Newton not created the immaculate laws of calculus, today's technology would resemble the obsolete 'technology' of the 1800s. Newton's ardor for perfectionism culminated in the zenith of his life's work: calculus, the mother of all mathematics. Newton's most signifigant contribution to the scientific and mathematical community,calculus, is used in a host of modern day applications, ranging from car manufacturing to the production of the Scantron machine used to grade my SAT test. </p>

<p>In both the cases illustrated above, if perfection were not admired and considered a nefarious vice, then many of mankind's revolutionary scientists would never had the proclivity to create such perfected models and discoveries.</p>

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<p>Thanks for your help in advance.
Hopefully in ~10 area :D</p>

<p>Edit: I just realized that my dates were wrong for Coperinicus (he was born in 1475, so my dates are about 50 years off). Would an examiner notice/care about this?</p>

2

<p>11 or 12....</p>

3

<p>that's 12 on the real test</p>

4

<p>great essay...great diction and great examples. I certainly believe that is a 12.</p>

5

<p>Great essay. I feel that the SAT scantron thing is not that well developed. Good vocab and examples. A little more development would be better. A 10 prob.</p>

6

<p>Thanks for the comments guys!!</p>

<p>^^ the scantron thing was meant mainly as a joke. On the real thing I probably would not have added it (the stressful nature of the exam drains one's humor :D).</p>

7

<p>Incredible start; from the start alone, it would be a 12. The only inhibition I have is this: if I was a grader, cuz of the way I read, i would give it a 10, cuz it sort of fades after the 2nd example. Sb else could very well be mesmerized by the beginning and go with a 12. Great overall, just don't lose your nerve at the end..</p>

8

<p>debate addict when you say "don't lose your nerve at the end" are you referring to my conclusion??</p>

<p>Thanks for comment</p>

9

<p>Yes, you're quite right. That's just something that just caught my eye, and maybe it's specific to me only, but since it is obvious that you write well, I think that if you maintain the same momentum overall, you'll have a 12. </p>

<p>And in case an examiner, say, your essay happens to be handed to an insanely anal-retentive
(like me :D) examiner, I think that since that is the only thing that could cut your essay short from perfect, and that's the only problem there is that you should bear in mind.</p>