Please grade my first essay - What motivates people to change?

<p>Please help me with my first SAT essay (spelling/grammar errors intact). I haven't fully studied up on how to write the SAT essay and I went over the time limit (my first practice SAT is to be untimed), but I'd appreciate the help:</p>

<p>"To change is to risk something, making us feel insecure. Not to change is a bigger risk, though we seldom feel that way. There is no choice but to change. People, however, cannot be motivated to change from the outside. All of our motivation comes from within."</p>

<p>What motivates people to change?</p>

<p>It was once said that "The only thing constant in life is change." In a sense, this maxim is true. Change is an inevitable consequence of the actions performed in daily life. External influences can compell one to change, but it is ultimately one's inner self that motivates one to change. Examples of this inner motivation can be seen in The Iliad with Achilles, The Book of Job with Job, and the Scarlet Letter with Hester Prynne.</p>

<p>Homer's The Iliad represents a struggle by the Achaean people to recapture Helen, the beautiful wife of the King Menelaus. Achilles, a demigod, represents the pinnacle of Achaean commander Agamemnon's army. Achilles is the Achaeans' best warrior and leads the Achaeans to victory time and time again. Hector can be thought of as Achilles' main challenger on the Trojan side (whom the Achaeans are fighting). Hector ultimately meets his demise at the hands of Achilles. Rather than release Hector's body to his parents Priam and Hecuba for proper burial, Achilles ties Hector's corpse to the back of his chariot and proceeds to parade the body about until it is disfigured. Priam cannot stand to see his son's body be desecrated, so he sneaks into the Achaean camp one night to plead for the body's release. Achilles is reluctant, but thinks of his deceased father Perseus [dammit I meant Peleus] and takes pity on Priam, releasing the body. It is not the gold that Priam offers, but the poignant pangs Achilles feels for his father that motivates him to change.</p>

<p>The Book of Job is an Old Testament work that recounts the struggle of Job, a righteous man from the land of Ur, to understand why he is suffering at the hands of God. Job is a humble and prosperous man. Job's life takes a turn for the worst. His livestock die, his children are taken, and his body is inflicted with boils. Job struggles to understand why good men like he suffer while thieves and other criminals prosper. Three of Job's friends (known by biblical critics as "the sympathizers") attempt to help Job better understand his condition. However, their conventional argument that only sinners suffer (which would imply that Job has sinned in some way) does not satisfy Job. His friends (external forces) do not motivate Job to change and repent to God for sins he is unaware of. Job is steadfast in his argument that he does not know how he sinned.</p>

<p>In Hawthorne's The Scarlet Letter the protagonist Hester Prynne is convicted for the crime of adultery. In those Puritan times, adultery was a serious sin, and throughout the novel the Puritans of Boston attempt to wrestle Prynne's daughter from her care (claiming Prynne is not fit to be a mother). However, it is Prynne's personal decision that she wants to become a role model for her daughter that motive her to change. She becomes active in the community, cares for the poor, and raises Pearl the best she can.</p>

<p>The aforementioned examples demonstrate that while change may be influenced by outside forces, it is the inner motivation of people that brings about change. Achilles, Job, and Hester Prynne were all confronted with others trying to get them to make decisions and perform actions in their lives, but their personal decision motivated them to decide and act as they did.</p>

<p>bump...I'd appreciate the help</p>

<p>bump
10 char</p>

<p>Its so long!</p>

<p>SAT essay cannot be graded accurately if you exceeded the time limit. People in my school who can write brilliantly polished papers can't even write a full page in the SAT time limit.</p>