<p>the prompt was something like, "is striving to acheive a goal the best course of action, even if one fails or isn't rewarded?"</p>
<p>I agree with the statement that striving to achieve a goal is the best course of action. Even if ones struggles seem useless, it is always best to persevere, to have patience, and to do ones best. Both history and literature are filled with examples of people who struggled, but achieved success in the end. The important thing is not to be rewarded, but to have the knowledge that you refused to give up.</p>
<p>An example (from history) which testifies to this viewpoint is Joan of Arc. This young peasant girl from France claimed she had visions from God that would help the rightful king. She wore mens clothes and fought in battle, overcoming much adversity along the way. She was mocked at and treated unfairly, but she persevered and achieved her goal the rightful king was crowned. However, she wasnt rewarded during her lifetime. Years after she was burned at the stake, she was declared a saint and a heroine of France. Had she given up, the rightful king would never have been crowned. </p>
<p>Also, O. Henrys short story The Last Leaf comes to mind: Two sisters, Johnsy and Sudie, live in a flat above a mysterious, slightly eccentric German painter one who has struggled to create a masterpiece his whole life. While Johnsy is ill with pneumonia, she watches the leaves fall off an ivy vine, declaring she will die when the last one falls. The German painter paints a leaf on the ivy wall, which results in saving Johnsys life. However, while painting this masterpiece, the painter gets sick in the icy weather and dies of pneumonia. Even though he died, his perseverance and good will saved a young girls life. </p>
<p>As we can see, persevering is the best thing to be done while striving to achieve a goal. Persevering shows strength of character. Even though we might not be rewarded immediately, having the patience to endure brings on positive events. Success or recognition will come after we have strived and endured. Such an attitude has the power to save a country or save a life! We must do our best and never succumb to giving up.</p>
<p>I would give this a 4 (out of 6). It is pretty well written, although you could have better transitions. Your examples are creative, although it probably would have been better to discuss the good that it did for them, instead of only for other people. For example, a student running for a student council office who is not elected, but breaks out of his/her shell and gains confidence, etc. You could also afford to have some more SAT words in there, although not overdoing it. Your essay competently answers the prompt without going off track. It is a good length, but could be longer–longer essays typically receive higher scores. One last thing–although it is usually better to use examples from history or literature, as you did, for certain topics taking a personal approach can speak to the reader more and end up being more effective (such as describing a personal struggle and learning from the experience). Overall, it is a good, but not outstanding, essay.</p>
<p>A rule of thumb is, always give 3 examples. you talk too much in your essay. It isn’t necessary to say (from history) or “young peasant girl” ect… You talk about not being rewarded but you only mention the rewards. You should have focus more on the morals if you believe rewards are not important. You should cite better examples, preferably something everyone will knows. For example the burial scene from Antigone. Everyone deserves to be buried and her goal was to bury him and because of that, there was a reason for her goal.</p>
<p>There is NO way this is a 2/6. At least a 4. Actually, this is probably exactly a 4. If the graders are feeling especially lenient, this might be a 4/5 split. But It’s more than likely a 4.</p>
<p>Things that would have made it a 5:
1-A stronger beginning. You want your reader to actually wake up when he looks at your essay for the first time. Chances are, he’s read 100s of the things before getting to urs and honestly, he’s bored out of his mind.
2-What’s in the middle really doesn’t matter as long as it’s free of typos and flows somewhat decently. Actually, it doesn’t even need to flow that much. Just spit out your thoughts, sprinkle in a few big words, and move on to the conclusion.
3-Strong ending. You want to shake your reader awake before letting him go.</p>
<p>thanks to everyone who answered.
interesting, as i got a 10 out of 12 on the actual exam. this is the actual essay I wrote on the january SAT. just wanted to hear some constructive criticism :)</p>
<p>I think it’s clear that comment has no idea what he/she is talking about.</p>
<p>I’d give it a 4, but a 5 is not far-fetched.</p>
<p>Just some tips:
Avoid the passive voice: “She was mocked and treated unfairly”
Your third paragraph is almost all plot summary.
There’s a little bit of unnecessary chattiness in some areas, but it’s not terrible.</p>
<p>You should always do 5 paragraphs. I remember having one English SAT teacher for a few weeks who told me to always do four paragraphs, and I remember doing various practice SATs at learning centers and they’ve always criticized my for doing only 4. It’s better to be on the SAFE side and do 5 paragraphs, rather than do 4. Also, you have good examples, but sometimes you should include a personal experience alongside objective incidences that occurred. Also, you’re not supposed to capitalize after a colon, so you aren’t supposed to say… “comes to mind: Two sisters,” rather “comes to mind: two sisters.” I think it’d be debatable… but it’d be in the range of 3.5-4.5/6, so I’d just stick with an 8/12.</p>
<p>There really isn’t any standard formula for getting a high score on the SAT writing section.
I think that 5 paragraphs may not go as in-depth as 4 on timed writing. 5 paragraphs also leaves only 5 minutes per paragraph, and that can be fairly hard to accomplish, especially if you want to make good points.</p>
<p>I’ve always done the same standard formula, Intro, 3 bodies, and conclusion. The lowest score I’ve received while doing this for the past three tests was an 11.</p>