Please Grade My SAT ESSAY! SAT THIS SATURDAY!! NEED URGENT HELP PLS!!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>Hi. Can anyone please read through the following SAT essay and score it? Please give some suggestion for improvement as well. I know there are grammar mistakes in there, but I finished it in exactly 25 minutes, so I had no time to proof read.
(I know I should have done better especially since I have SAT in just three days. But I never got around to improving my essay. Also, I tried to base this on the 5 paragraph essay style(with the three examples), but I wrote too much on these two and didn't have any space (or time, for that matter) left for the third example. Any tip regarding that?)</p>

<p>P.S.: Some of the facts in there might not be a hundred percent accurate. So I apologize if this causes any sort of offence or something. </p>

<p>Topic: Do people make the greatest discoveries by exploring what is unfamiliar to them or by paying close attention to what seems familiar? Plan and write….</p>

<p>Exploration, accompanied with penchant for discovery, is man’s most basic and inveterate instinct. It is only through the encounter with the unfamiliar, do we humans have stumbled upon the greatest of discoveries. Examples from the life events of preeminent personalities in our history elucidate the aforementioned assertion. </p>

<p>There is probably no modern person that is unaware of the name “Steve Jobs”. Jobs is considered, almost unambiguously, by many critics as the foremost innovator of the late 20th Century. One of the most notable aspects of Jobs’s character was his thirst for the knowledge of the unfamiliar. Very few people know that before Jobs became a tech “rockstar”, he travelled to India in search for spiritualism and other philosophical concerns. He roamed the hectic streets and roads of New Delhi and visited the Buddhist monks in the quiescent and tranquil northern India. As a consequence, he became a Zen Budhist. He later acknowledged that this was an invaluable experience of his life, which proved to be quite expedient and guiding in many later life events. Thus, by exploring something unfamiliar, Jobs discovered his ideological identity.</p>

<p>Mohandas Gandhi was one of the most preeminent leaders of the Indian Independence Movement and a strong proponent of the “Satayagara” i.e. non-violence. However, despite his extremely iconoclastic ideologies, Gandhi in his twenties was an ordinary man, failing at his law practice in Delhi. He was unable to cross-question the witnesses and so despite his best attempts, could not make his practice fruitful. After giving up hope in the legal profession, Gandhi took a job in South Africa working for a trading company. Although daunted at first, Gandhi had no idea how life changing this experience in an unfamiliar land was going to be. He saw the discrimination against the colored people with his own eyes and soon realized of the plight of colored people outside of India. He became an efficient leader of the Indian community in South Africa which proved to be extremely useful for his later pursuits as an activist in his own home country. </p>

<p>Thus the analysis of the above mentioned examples clearly shows that one should not restrict oneself and should always be open to new experiences. As these personalities so lucidly depict, life changing discoveries can be made in very unexpected and unfamiliar places.</p>

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<p>BUMP! Anyone? Please guys! Really need some help over here! :’(</p>

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<p>Hello,
I would give your essay a 4 or a 5. I believe that the example you gave about Steve Jobs is more tailored to this topic rather than the one about Ghandi. A point can be made with that example, but the point you are trying to make is not evident at the moment and it just comes off as an example you threw in there just because you were trying to give more than one.
I had the same kind of issue when I was taking my SATs in January, so I sympathize with you, and I believe I can give you some advice that helped me to write better in hopes that it helps you too. </p>

<ol>
<li><p>There is no set formula for “good writing”. I don’t know about you, but writing under a strict “5 paragraph essay” format kills my creativity and my ability to write persuasively. I have used practically EVERY SAT prep book out there, but none even comes close to the Blue Book. Studying from that really helped me break free from the formatting guidelines instilled in me by the other prep books. There is a part om the Blue Book that says “Good writing is not strict adherence to a formula; rather, it is the strong development of ideas, the ablity to connect to an audience, precise use of language, effective organization and appropriate choices of evidence.” So there you have it, from the SAT makers themselves, you don’t have to suffer over trying to stick to a formula.</p></li>
<li><p>“How well you write is more important than how much you write.” I have seen essays on this book that only give one effective example to support their point and recieve a score of 6. I used to do the same thing, trying to give 3 pieces of evidence that support my assertion. But when I finally got around to it, I see that clearly conveying your point with just one example beats listing 3 mediocre examples that barely express your position on the topic. Once I started focusing my writing on effectively conveying my point as opposed to proving that I know a lot, my scores immediately improved . </p></li>
<li><p>That thing about “write a conclusion, and in it, restate your thesis” I believe to be nonsense. If you have written your essay effectively, you don’t need to restate your thesis because your writing has made it clear. Wrapping up is necessary, but you don’t need to do it in a way that comes off like “okay, I have to write a conclusion so I’m just going to restate what I said earlier.” </p></li>
<li><p>If you’re the kind of person who likes creative writing, try and have fun with the essay. Don’t think of it as a daunting experience. It’s scientifically proven that when you relax, you ALWAYS do better than when you’re stressed out. You can write about personal experiences, if you feel that it helps you convey your point clearly and in a more relaxed way. As long as you express your ideas effectualy, you’re good to go! (The SAT graders don’t have a preference to historical facts and current events over personal experiences.) </p></li>
</ol>

<p>This is what worked for me :slight_smile: but take this all with a grain of salt please. I hope it helps you out and I hope you do good on the test this Saturday! (I’m taking it also, wish me luck ;))</p>

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<p>

How do u know what the essay prompt is in advance of the test?
.</p>

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<p>@GMTplus7‌ Oh, lol no this just a random topic that I picked. I just mentioned that I have SAT this saturday because I needed to convey the urgency of getting the essay scored. :)</p>

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<p>@BrownBound444 Thanks. This was really helpful! I actually thought that Gandhi’s example was a little more relevant, but I guess I didn’t lucidly establish the connection between my example and my thesis.
You mentioned that "Once I started focusing my writing on effectively conveying my point as opposed to proving that I know a lot, my scores immediately improved ". How do you grade your essay? Do you check it yourself or get it checked from somebody else?</p>

<p>And oh yeah! Definitely good luck for this SATurday! I hope you get a good score! :-bd </p>

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<p>I usually grade them myself. I’m not really lenient when it comes to grading myself-- I’d rather grade myself harshly and find that my actual grade on the SAT is a better than my practice scores instead of the other way around.
So, in comparison to my previous writings, I found that the ones I wrote after I shifted ny focus were more compelling to read, even to me :). Thanks! You too!</p>