PLEASE grade this essay. REALLY need input!

<p>I'm really scared I interpreted this question wrong and answered something completely different! I really, really need input!</p>

<p>
[quote]
"Technology promises to make our lives easier, freeing up time for leisure pursuits. But the rapid pace of technological innovation and the split second processing capabilities of computers that can work virtually nonstop have made all of us feel rushed. We have adopted the relentless pace of the very machines that we supposed to simplify our lives, with the result that, whether at work or play, people do not feel like their lives have changed for the better."

[/quote]
</p>

<p>The question is: Do changes that make our lives easier not necessarily make them better? </p>

<p>Changes that make life easier constantly make it even better and improve it. Multiple examples from history and literature prove that life can be improved through changes that also make it easier.</p>

<p>As demonstrated by the American Revolution, life can be ameliorated and improved through changes that are supposed to make it easier. In the late 18th century, the Americans faced lives that were filled with hardships and obstacles. Soldiers were being quartered in their homes, trade was prohibited, and expensive taxes were introduced. In addition, the British parliament passed multiple acts that further complicated the lives of Americans. The Stamp Act and the Townshend Acts meant that Americans had to give up substantial amounts of money to their British rulers and submit to their will. The Americans were deprived of freedom and multiple basic human rights. In order to make their lives better, Americans had to find a way to induce changes that would facilitate their lives. Ultimately, they managed to revolt against their absolute rulers and gain freedom. After their triumph in war, Americans were able to trade freely, make purchases without having to pay expensive taxes, and govern themselves. This proves that a change that was intended to make their lives easier also improved their lives.</p>

<p>In the novel Jane Eyre by Charlote Bronte, Jane constantly faces changes that are intended to facilitate her life and consequentially make it better. Growing up as a penniless orphan, Jane was faced a difficult, challenging life and was forced to live with her distant relatives. This family treated Jane horribly, constantly depriving her of meals and time to play with the other kids. By lacking away these necessities, Jane grew up with many challenges. Eventually, her aunt decided to send Jane away for school, hoping Jane's life would be much easier there. At Hopewell, her new school, Jane slowly rose to the top of her class, made real friends, and was secured a meal every day. Ultimately, Jane becomes a teacher at this school. Eventually, Jane decided to facilitate her life again, this time by becoming a governess. She succeeded immensely and began earning a huge salary. Thus, these changes that were meant to make life easier also made it better.</p>

<p>Jane Eyre and the American Revolution show changes that are meant to make life easier also make it better. Without these changes, their lives would have been extremely difficult.</p>

<p>1) The question asks if changes that our lives easier necessarily make it better. Sometimes in there I throw "changes that are supposed to make our lives easier" rather than "changes that make our lives easier"... how bad is this?</p>

<p>2) Did I misunderstand the question? Is it asking for changes that are meant to make society better / general societal advances? Also, if the quote is about technological change, does that mean my essay has to be about technological change too?</p>

<p>3) Does your essay HAVE to address the text in the box above the question, in this case technology?</p>

<p>Thank you! And please grade! :D</p>

<p>No, your essay does not have to be what is in the box, its only there to give you a guideline. Your essay feels to be in the 8-11 range, most possibly a 9. To quell your worries, I think your examples are relevent. There are countless revolutions under the guise: for a better tomorrow, and do work. The changes Eyre had upon her life certainly effected it for the better. I think I would include one line like, although some changes may not result in a better life, the many examples in history and literature tell us…</p>

<p>Overall, It is a good sat essay- and the graders will not be so focused on the little details compared to the whole :D</p>

<p>Thank you! bumping for more input</p>

<p>yep aneo9988 is right, you don’t have to say anything about the box. I would grade your essay similarly to how aneo did, maybe a bit lower (8ish). My personal problems mainly come from the transitions (or lack thereof, in this case) between main points and the sentence structure that makes the essay choppy (at least when i read it), however, i believe that your elaboration was quite good. Its important to note that i’ve never read Jane Eyre, so i’ll have to take your word on your points. </p>

<p>Btw, rumor has it around my area that personal stories help. I wrote an essay with similar quality to yours but I had one historical example, one text based example and one personal experience (my handwriting towards the end was awful, my hand was cramping a ton >.<) and i scored an 11. Luck? Nice graders? who knows but i personally felt that my essay wasn’t great. I would look into it, but if you can think of a personal example that is fairly short and relevant then why not include it.</p>