PLEASE GRADE THIS ESSAY

“That which we obtained to easily we esteem too lightly. it is dearness only which gives everything its value”

Do we value only what we struggle for?

Based on history and human nature the only way to truly want something else to fight for it. It is through sacrifice and struggle countries are made and goals are reached.

Privy to the American Revolution, thirteen children squirmed under mother Britain’s controlling hand. Americans living in the thirteen colonies held Enlightenment ideals that stressed the importance of the individual. These young fiery patriots were determined not to succumb to the on to unrepresented taxation and being denied self government. Patriots such as George Washington and Thomas Jefferson lead war against a superior army losing hundreds of thousands through bloodshed and spent days in congressional conventions, ultimately reconciling their wishes for independence in the Declaration of Independence. However if it was not for overcoming bloodshed or the risk of their young government collapsing, the Patriots would have never reached their goal of having a United States of America.

Martin Luther king Junior may of had a dream, but the African-American population would not have achieved a equality to whites was it not for their struggle. After generations of cotton farm torchere stores and being denied the promise of life liberty and the pursuit of happiness, the grandchildren of slaves wanted to fight for what their ancestors couldn’t have themselves. African-American such as Booker T. Washington and WEB DuBois struggled against the common belief of white supremacy to prove there were several talents hidden among their own race. With peaceful protest and speech, African Americans burdened with the treat of lynching, or far worse failure trudged through and today hold the same social and political rights as whites.

Your essay seems slightly off-topic to me, since it concerns things that we have struggled for in the past, but doesn’t emphasize how much we value them. Since it’s an argumentative essay, you might want to try to address the prompt more directly (do we value only what we struggle for? are there things in life that we value that we don’t struggle for?).

In terms of grammar, there are several grammatical errors that should be taken care of:

Do you mean “not to succumb to unrepresented taxation?”

Capitalize “King.” Also, it’s “may have had a dream;” please get that right.

Remove “a.” “Equality to whites” is awkward; perhaps put “racial equality.”

Insert commas here.

The second clause seems really awkward.

Your essay is also missing a conclusion, but you may not have finished in time.