Please help a mom ...my S was accepted w/ extremely low stats. Should he go?

Colleges and Universities A-Z University of California - Berkeley
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<p>Help me, my son was accepted to UC Berkeley....should I encourage him or discourage him to accept?</p>

<p>It was an EXTREME REACH SCHOOL for him. It was just a dream…we thought it was a one in a million chance. Which it was! Then in January he did 2 supplemental questionnaires, and now we just found out he got in!
He did the regular questionnaire about; your school, your family, your environment, any academic support you get etc.
He also did the disability questionnaire. He had a learning disability his whole life and in 7th grade they basically said he was to close to normal to qualify for any more Special Ed services and released him from any programs. Fast Forward 6 years..... he’s graduating with 4.1 and 7 AP's. That's very well at his school, top 5%. But his SAT score is very low 1560 (for all 3). He has NEVER done well in standardized tests even when he was in elementary school.
His personal statement was on his journey and it was very touching. His teachers were all amazed, never knowing where he had come from and how far that journey took him, a few got teary eyed and hugged him.</p>

<p>He was a Posse Finalist but was not selected. But because of that Posse encouraged him to apply in state, out of state, to apply private, and to dream bigger and really reach for the schools he wanted. So he applied to everyone from safety San Diego State to extreme reaches like UC Berkeley.</p>

<p>Now I'm afraid! Can he handle UC Berkeley? Everything they say on here on CC sounds like the competition there would eat him for breakfast! Would they admit him in there if they thought there was a chance he would fail? I know he's smart, and his work ethic goes without question. I do believe in him! I would just hate to have him work SO hard his entire life (8 hours Special Ed day school since 2 years old!) Then finally be able to go to a college he thought he could only dream about …..only to fail out after one semester and have to come home to his family & friends to feel like a failure. His self esteem would be crushed.</p>

<p>Or what COULD happen is, he goes to UCB, the college of he’s dreams, works his butt off the way he has his whole life and proves all the doctors and nay-sayers wrong (the way he’s done his whole life)…and graduates from one of the most prestigest colleges in the world and can practically go get any job he wants! : ) </p>

<p>Or should he just go to San Diego State where he could go to a great Business School and get good grades but still be able to join a ton of clubs and have fun and make lots on friends.</p>

<p>I know he likes to be challenged and that's what college is suppose to do. But challenge you, right? .....not break you!
He loves school. I want him to keep loving it and that means being HAPPY while he's there, not so stressed out about failing. </p>

<p>I’m scared! This is probably the most important decision he’ll ever make. I never went to college, I’m a waitress. I don’t know how to help him make the right decision! I know it’s HIS decision, but as his mother I want to help make sure he makes the right one.</p>

<p>I’m mainly a lurker on this site, I only post when I’m stuck with an important decision that I can’t decipher by reading someone else’s posts. So I thank you all in advance for your help, and please no haters that are mad because they didn’t get accepted and they’re way more qualified than my son……I know he’s lucky and I have no idea why they picked him and not you…but I’m sorry and I wish you all the best.</p>

<p>So, can you please help me? All you super smart people on CC! I can sure use your advice right now….
Thank you!</p>

<p>Oh, and you should know, the condition of his acceptance is summer school. He has to attend the Summer Bridge program at UCB. It looks like a wonderful program for him. The students take 2 classes for 6 weeks, UCB makes sure they can handle the rigor. The students get used to being away from home and living in the dorms plus make some friends before school even starts! So in the fall, they only have to worry about classes, not all the other pressures. UCB gives this amazing opportunity to only 350 students. So that’s .05% of the 7700 freshman they admitted for this fall. I’m assuming that’s about how many kids UCB takes that aren’t the typical “perfect choice”. I guess it makes the campus more diverse? </p>

<p>Here are his stats:</p>

<p>• School & Major: College of Letters & Science – Pre-Business
• SAT I: 1560 (CR 460 M 610 W 490 E 9)
• W GPA: 4.12
• Rank: 46/961 (Top 5%)
• AP:
- [11] AP English Language & Composition (3)
- [11] AP Calculus AB (4)
- [11] AP US History (2)
- [12] AP Environmental Science
- [12] AP Calculus BC
- [12] AP Government/ Honors Economics
- [12] AP Statistics</p>

<p>• AVID Class- 4 years (zero period)</p>

<p>• Major Awards:
- Posse Finalist
- Student of the Month [10]
- Awards of Academic Excellence AVID [All 8 semesters]</p>

<p>• Extracurriculars:
- [9, 10, 11] Basketball Team (11- JV Captain)
- [9, 10, 11, 12] Community Service Club
- [11, 12] AVID Student Council (12- Secretary)
- [11, 12] Private Math Tutor- (free to low income)</p>

<p>• State: CA
• School Type: X-Large (4100+ Students) Public
• Ethnicity: White
• Gender: Male
• Income Bracket: $35,000
• Hooks: First Generation College Student, Single Parent, Low Income
• Strengths: GPA, Personal Statement, 4 years of AVID
• Weaknesses: Test Scores
• Why you think you were accepted?
I think my son was accepted because of his life challenges and how he overcame them and never gave up. His personal statement was honest and true and it came out that way when people read it. His personal statement was just that personal! His GPA was good and his rigor was hard. In the supplemental essays they ask a lot of questions about the high school, what it offers in academics and support, its diversity etc. The school is in a low income area and only 30% white, so he had some challenges, on top of his mental/learning issues he had to overcome.</p>

<p>• Where else were you accepted/waitlisted/rejected:</p>

<p>Accepted:
- Cal State; Fullerton (First year Honors Program)
- San Diego State (First year Honors Program)
- Northern Arizona University
- Arizona University
- Ohio State University
- UC Merced
- UC Riverside (First Year Honors Program)
- UC Irvine
- UC Santa Barbara
- University of California: Berkeley <strong>1st choice right now</strong>
- University of Wisconsin- Madison
- St. John's University NY </p>

<p>Waitlisted:
- Franklin & Marshall College
- Baylor University</p>

<p>Rejected:
- Syracuse (Early Decision)
- Boston University
- UC San Diego
- UC Los Angeles
- University of Southern California
- Pepperdine University
- University of Michigan-Ann Arbor</p>

<p>Again, he wants to go to UC Berkeley. Should I encourage it or discourage it? Thank you for your advice.
Kids2Smart4Mom</p>

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<p>Oh wow. </p>

<p>I worried about this for my son if he got in. He is absolutely capable of doing the work, but doesn’t like a competitive atmosphere (but I only suspect that from UCBs reputation.) I had determined to sign him up for an overnight visit to get a feel for the place, then ask him. That summer bridge program frankly sounds wonderful, I just wish he didn’t have to release the other colleges until he found out if he liked it. But I suspect he will do well from your post. </p>

<p>I feel for you. If he wants to go, I think I’d let him go after all is said and done, but I’d point out the possibility of unhappiness with a competitive atmosphere. But only until he makes his decision and passes his deadline to take the others.</p>

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<p>What does he want? To test his limits? Or play it safe? Would he seek any accommodations at UCB? Is the school good at retaining students? Will they help him if he needs help?</p>

<p>He got in to a number of great schools fwiw, but it is true that UCB looks like the hardest. </p>

<p>I would have a heart to heart with him and lay out my concerns. Let him choose with his eyes open. And I would discuss back up plans if he should choose Berkley and the worst case scenario comes true. </p>

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<p>Yes, he should go. He should take advantage of all things offered - tutoring, advising, reading and writing centers. I think with careful course selection he’ll do fine. It would not be a good idea to take 5 lit classes in the same semester, but he should tackle them one at a time.</p>

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<p>Thank you for your comments.</p>

<p>Yes, I have been mentioning the negativity and hinting about the possibility of not being able to handle it, but I haven’t gone real far into it because I don’t want to get into his head if he decides to go.</p>

<p>I do love the summer program too. He’ll ease into it much better than going full force in the fall.</p>

<p>UCB has put him in the EOP program which comes with advising but I’m not sure if it comes with with tutoring. I know the Summer Bridge has the tutoring.</p>

<p>twoinandone: Did you mean lit classes as in Literature or lite classes?
and do they take 5 classes? I thought they only take 4?</p>

<p>Thanks</p>

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<p>If he takes some in the summer he would be ‘ahead’. So I’d think he could take fewer in the fall. I think you have to have 4 to be full time, but some take 5 ( I took a mixture, because I wanted to intern in DC, and back then only real slackers graduated in longer than 4 years…)</p>

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<p>Yea, they HAVE TO take 2 classes in the summer. And if he doesn’t pass the classes with a C or above than he loses his admission. That’s part of the conditions that’s placed on his admission.
That and getting a 3.2 I think this semester.</p>

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<p>@collegevetting; did you mean that your son is admitted under the same or similar circumstances?
What are you going to do?</p>

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<p>@lizardly: what does fwiw mean?</p>

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<p>I say give it a go. If it doesn’t work out, you and he sit down and figure out why it did not,and find something more suited. To go elsewhere and then try to transfer into Berkeley would not be easy to do. Transferring out of Berkeley to a local school is eminently possible.</p>

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<p>@cptofthehouse What if he had to transfer after the first semester? Do you think UCSB or SDSU would take him? or would they be pist he didn’t choose them in the first place?</p>

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<p>for what its worth</p>

<p>Hearing about all these programs to ease the strain makes me feel better about letting him go for it. But again do send him off with his eyes wide open. </p>

<p>His choice may be a matter of temperament. I went to a very competitive place and was dying to go and see what I could do. I wanted to test myself. My dad, a genius, really a genius, chose to stay close to home for his education because he wanted to be a big fish in a small pond. He was also by nature a very cautious, risk averse guy. We fought over what I should do back when I was a high school student. He was afraid for me. I was frustrated that he wanted to hold me back. I eventually got my way. FWIW (!) the first year was a big adjustment for me. I had to up my game. But I did it. </p>

<p>Having said all that, I have the same fears for my kids. Neither has learning problems, but I do worry about whether they can cut it in a competitive college. Older son I didn’t worry about so much. A hard worker, I knew he could buckle down and get er done. He just might not be as happy. Younger son is more happy go lucky. Smart enough, but not a fan of hard work. </p>

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<p>@Kids2smart4Mom Congrats to your son! I think he should go to UCB but I’m concerned about what you meant by the comment above - can you explain? Learning disabilities don’t go away, although many kids learn how to compensate for them over time. </p>

<p>Also what is the disability questionnaire? Has he been found eligible for services or accommodations at UCB? </p>

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<p>Usually a student takes 15 or 16 credits a semester. Most literature, history, poly sci, etc are 3 credits, so yes, you can have 5 classes. If you take a science with a lab, sometimes that’s 4 credits. </p>

<p>I just recommending a variety, especial since it looks like reading type classes are not as strong as his math. One summer I took a lit class, and since the class met every day, it was a lot of reading EVERY DAY. Wouldn’t recommend that type of class in a condensed term.</p>

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<p>@Mondut His learning disability was a Speech & Language disorder. He mixes up words in his head, words that mean the same thing; her & she, much & many, things like that. But when start in a new school you have to qualify for benefits. When he changed from elementary to Jr high, they told me although his was struggling and had issues that his problems weren’t bad enough! And insurance wouldn’t pay for anything and I couldn’t afford private tutors so we just dealt with it together at home. :"> </p>

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<p>@Mondut UCB sent him the questionnaire in January after they read his Personal Statement about his journey not because he was applying for services. So, after reading it they admitted him but with conditions and a little help.
He HAS TO go to the Summer Bridge program…which is a good thing! Actually, Wonderful thing!
and they admitted him into the Educational Opportunity Program EOP for support. Which I’m not very familiar with but it looks like a great program as well.</p>

<p>I guess I’m mainly worried about the other students. This site talks about them being “CUT THROAT”. They all sound so mean and terrible!</p>

<p>I see the pictures UCB has on the website of the crazy kids at the football game look just like my son! lol
But that’s not what I picture after reading all the posts on CC. </p>

<p>Which one is more true and realistic?</p>

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<p>What does your son want to do? If UCB is his 1st choice and it is an affordable option, then let him go for it. The summer program sounds wonderful and will give him a leg up over other new freshmen. By the time Sept. rolls around, he will be settled in and comfortable with the atmosphere. No one really knows for sure how they will fit into any school once they actually attend. He has just as good a chance at being successful as any other admit and it looks like he did quite well academically in school. If he does have any identifiable learning disabilities, just be sure that he registers with the school so that he can get accomodations. If by some chance UCB does not work out for him, he can always transfer to another school next year. Congratulations to your son!!!</p>

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<p>First of all realize your son is totally qualified to be successful at UCB! His test scores are low because he probably should have tested with accommodations - which I’m assuming he didn’t since your school district said he wasn’t eligible? Anyway, that’s why he doesn’t do well on standardized testing, and his SAT is low in comparison to his strong academic performance with rigorous coursework. </p>

<p>The Summer Bridge and EOP look like they will help him transition into UCB. Don’t worry about other students - UCB is big and there’s going to be all types. The only thing I’d suggest is that you/he look into the possibility of getting him testing accommodations (like extended time, and probably marking answers in test booklet - your son has a processing disorder and probably gets things mixed up when he’s testing too, like marking “B” instead of “D” or vice versa, even though he knows the right answer he may be marking it wrong on the Scantron sheet). </p>

<p>Be prepared for him to succeed beyond your wildest dreams! All the best to him - :slight_smile: </p>

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<p>Go for it! Berkeley values GPA more than SAT scores as a potential indicator of college success. </p>

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<p>I would say you know your son more than us, but I’d also say the people who know more than all of us about what it takes to succeed at UCB are… the admissions people at UCB, and they think he has what it takes. </p>

<p>I tutor standardized tests for a living, and while I think they are one of the best ways to increase your changes of getting IN, there is NO evidence that they predict how well you will do once you ARE in. If you need reassurance about that, send me a message or reply to the post, and I will post the links of the studies that show that SAT scores do not prove how good of a student your son will be.</p>

<p>Again, you know your son and we do not, so if you have a valid reason to think he would not last, and that he could not survive the setback of having to transfer to a lower-tiered school, then do some research and find out what who drops out of UCB and why (though if you talk to UCB, don’t say who you are :)). </p>

<p>Your post is extremely moving. However, I would really advise you to never let your son have any inkling that you harbor these doubts. From what it sounds like, he’s a smart kid, and he may pick up on it. I would say his mom telling him he can’t do it could be a larger long-term blow to his self-esteem than failing and going to a different school. Your kid may not be as fragile as you think. Plus, if he turns it down, you may always wonder “what if?”</p>

<p>You sound like a great mom. I think you know in your heart what the right answer is.</p>

<p>By the way: I sometimes wonder if that talk about being “cut throat” is projecting parental competition onto the students at the school :). Kids are kids, the only time I know of when young people are like that is at law school or something like that where they are competing for future jobs or at a small school, maybe. At a huge school like that, I doubt that.</p>