Please help... I got blackmailed and cyberbullied.

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1 
    I'm going to tweak some details in this post.
    Hi. I've known a girl, a really smart, athletic, and clever girl, for about 5 years now, but we aren't close friends. But recently, about a year ago, I started to ask talk to her more, because she is so amazing at what she does. Everything. And I respect and admire her....
    But, she can be harsh sometimes and try to drive me away sometimes. She is one grade higher than me. 
    Let's call her Allie. Sometimes in the mornings, I try to find her before class and when I do, she's always with her friends. She has a lot of friends. I follow her around, ask her some questions, maybe irritate her a bit kind of, because I'm playful. Despite that, she doesn't hate me and has nothing against me. She considers me a "half-friend." It lifted my heart. I mean, imagine someone you really like and admire, say that to you. Wouldn't that be uplifting?
     Allie does a lot of activities. She does soccer, violin, and millitary academy over the summer. Allie has a lot of friends because she meets new people by doing all these activities. She gets good grades (As and high Bs)
     Allie thinks I'm annoying, but smart. I think I am smart, no offense. You will see why when you read on.
     Whenever I text her questions, she answers them when she can, no matter how much. But she can be mean spirited and have a lack of empathy. When I text her, she doesn't seem to mind but doesn't respond sometimes even though she's read them. Hey, at least she's read them.

     Now to the point.
     One of Allie's friends (I don't know if she considers  her a friend,) hates me. A lot. I didn't do anything. That person thinks not only I'm annoying, I'm a retard, I'm an idiot. One day, when I was talking to Allie before school, I saw her "mean" friend when I was going to class, the mean friend was going towards Allie and said, "hey Allie!"
     When I got home from, school, I checked my phone for a text. It was from "Allie," but I know it's from Allie. Because....

The text said that I need to to stay away from Allie, because Allie doesn’t like me and doesn’t want to be with me. Allie doesn’t need my help, and you need to stop “stalking” her and her friends. Her friends hate you, Allie hates you. So back off. Get a life. You have a - problem. You need help. If you don’t leave her alone, I’m gonna screw up your life. Literally.

      I'm so scared. I know it's not from Allie. She would NEVER say this to me. Allie doesn't know about it because the text was deleted from her phone by her friend. I think, she took Allie's phone when she was away and started texting me. 

      What should I do? Tell Allie? A friend? An adult?


     Misc. about me:
     I am a straight A student. I am superb at math and science. Teachers favor me. I am a chess champion and is very good at logic games. I have better grades than Allie. I am bad at sports but very good at logic. I have good memory and can memorize numbers instantly.
2

More about me: I am better than Allie at some things. I am more willing to study than her. I study all day. I do have a life! I’m faster at trivia than her.

3

This is a problem of your own making. If you know you’re annoying someone, why would you keep doing it? That, right there, is a form of harassment, isn’t it?

4

It sounds like maybe you are coming on a little strong and Allie does not want to hurt your feelings. Her friends are not as nice. You say you irritate her a little but are playful. I doubt that she views you as playful. She has her own friends and is a year older. You sound smart academically. Why don’t you try to find some clubs or other activities that interest you and where you could make your own friends. You keep talking about how smart you are, but that can not be the basis of a friendship. Friends treat each other with mutual respect and find things to talk about that are of common interest- no one wants to be stalked and peppered with questions. Try taking a step back and don’t come on quite so strong.

5

I like your tone of writing.

I mean, you do seem a bit stalkerish, but I understand that you do not mean to. Maybe you should back off of her a little? Text her less, limit when you see her, etc.

6

Find other friends. Allie obviously doesn’t like you that much, and her friends don’t either, which is a recipe for disaster.

And maybe work on not being annoying. It’s not cute like you seem to think it is.

7

Chess champion? I play competitive chess too. What’s your rating?

8

Calling you a “half friend” was NOT meant to lift your spirits…it would be an insult to most people. And is not very nice.

It sounds like she is trying to be nice to you bc she was raised that way, but does complain to her friends, who took matters into their own hands bc they are not as nice.

You are not being blackmailed. You are being told that she is not a “willing” participant in your aggravation or irritating fun. Heed the advice and dial it back about 80%.

9

are you a freshman

10

Your behavior sounds creepy and unwelcome. Stop it.

11

I think everybody above is being unnecessarily harsh. You love someone and really want to spend time with them and are trying hard to do that. If anyone denies that they’ve every felt that way, they’re lying.

That being said, I do agree with the point that she may be trying to tell you to back off a bit. Give her a little space to decide if she wants to pursue the relationship. If she fades away, it might be time to move on. You seem like a sweet guy and deserve better, someone who wants to be with you as much as you want to be with them.

12

That’s not loving. That’s denial.

13

Not quite sure where the blackmail comes in. The text is mean, yes, but it sounds like this has been going on for a while now, and “Allie” or her “friend” are fed up with it.

Even way before your post talked about the text, I was going to say you should leave this girl alone, for her sake and for your own. She is not your friend, and it doesn’t sound like she likes you. I’m not quite sure why you thought her calling you her “half-friend” is so great, but it’s really not. You say that she can be harsh, tries to drive you away, thinks you’re annoying, can be mean-spirited, has a lack of empathy, and doesn’t always respond to your texts. Why do you even want to be her friend? She doesn’t sound like a very good one, and even if she is, it doesn’t sound like she’s interested in being your friend (or mentor or whatever you’re trying to get out of this relationship). Relationships are a two way street, and it doesn’t sound like she likes you. It can be hurtful when someone you like and admire doesn’t share those feelings, but that’s life. Stop bothering her, stop talking to her, and move on with your life.

I really think YOU (completely forgetting about what Allie or her friends want) would be much better off without her. You deserve to have really great friends who care about you and want to spend time with you. Stop spending so much time going down this dead-end. Eventually, you’ll realize that this is a really bad relationship, and it’s only going to be hurtful to you. Spend more time on your life with friends who actually care about you.

14

I’m sorry if I come on a bit harsh, but this is so pathetic. Go find new friends. It’s as simple as moving on. I would’ve hopped off the minute she called me her “half-friend”. This is all the drama involved with high school girls. We guys never have problems with other people being friends with our friends…

15

Are there any girls on the math or chess club? These might be your people. Also, have you watched the movie Mean Girls? I recommend it.

16

@Anish14 Being a girl, she’s probably just trying to help her friend by saying what her friend was too scared to say and do (although she was unnecessarily harsh). I’ve definatly known girls that have had to been told to chill because they wanted to help out with a probelm a friend had with another person so bad. I hate to say it but her opinion is probably based off the girl’s opinion, although in this case it seems quite exaggerated.

17

Please do not, ever, refer to anyone as a “retard.” It’s offensive.

It sounds to me as though Allie is probably going out of her way to be kind to you. But what was said in the note, though it could have been phrased much better, sounds on target. You ARE stalking her. In your own words, you follow her around, ask her questions, and irritate her. She probably complains a lot to her friends, and one of her friends has had enough.

Find other friends. Leave Allie alone.

Problem solved.

18

@Madeline25 I agree, but I still think this is an unnecessary issue. This is called being clingy. Clingy describes most 12-13 year old boys in their first relationship.

19

Do we even know OP is a guy?

20

@bodangles No, I shouldn’t have made that assumption. I’m very sorry.