Please Help me CC Parents...this is urgent!!!! Its lengthy but IMPORTANT!! Please!

Parents Forum
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<p>Okay, so some of you may know me and some of you may not. I was posting last year about my Kenyon College dilemma. Basically, I applied (originally) to 10 colleges last year. I applied ED II to Scripps and got rejected. I got rejected from Bucknell, Occidental, Wellesley...waitlisted at Tulane, and Kenyon (My dream school which I didn't realize how much I loved until I visited late in the Spring and it was too late to apply ED) and I got accepted into my state university Rutgers, American and Santa Clara.</p>

<p>American and SCU gave me barely any money, making it impossible to attend.
My only choice was Rutgers, which was my obvious last choice.
I want to study foreign languages and just couldn't see me learning languages in a university setting. I really wanted a liberal arts experience. I desperately tried to get off Kenyon's waitlist with extra recommendations and letters, but it was no help. I was truly crushed about Kenyon because I fell in love with it on an overnight visit, plus they have a very unique modern language and literature major. Frantic about attending Rutgers, I decided to look up schools still accepting applications. So I applied late to Hendrix College in Conway, AR, got a decent scholarship, and just currently completed my freshman year.</p>

<p>Here is the problem</p>

<p>I applied as a transfer this year to Kenyon, Wesleyan, Bucknell, Lehigh, and Emory. I didn't think I would go back to Hendrix after freshman year because I was so set on learning languages at a school with more class and language offerings. I told myself that I was going to Hendrix knowing I was transferring, no matter what! Yet, I applied and sent the essays at a time when I didn't realize how much I loved Hendrix. I had called my mom about two months ago, and told her that even though I spent all this money on transfer applications, I didn't think I could bring myself to leave Hendrix. It was really hard for me since I put so much time into additional essays, copying forms, recommendations, keeping up my grades, etc. She said that was perfectly fine with everything and if I was happy, she would agree with whatever decision I made.</p>

<p>Well, I got WL at Wesleyan, rejected at Bucknell, have not heard from Emory...but</p>

<p>I got accepted to KENYON! and Lehigh!</p>

<p>To make matters worse, i got offered a 32,000 dollar grant to lehigh a year, and a 38,000! dollar grant to Kenyon a year. It is cheaper for me to go to Kenyon with the grants alone, besides the fact that it is closer to home ( I dont have to fly) and I dont have to store stuff over the summer etc.</p>

<p>I can really care less about lehigh, its Kenyon that is bugging me.
I wanted Kenyon so bad last year. I cried myself to sleep for weeks because I did not get in. I couldn't see myself anywhere else last year.</p>

<p>Now I have already been elected to be President of my dorm next year, and 1st vice chair of a huge charity organization. All of my stuff is in a storage bin in Arkansas, I have a wonderful boyfriend, great friends,etc. My parents are pressing me to leave Hendrix for Kenyon.</p>

<p>They think that Kenyon is giving more money, obviously more prestigious, better for my major, and closer to home. They are pressing me to go and will do anything to dissuade my from Hendrix. Hendrix does not have any linguistic course offerings, is not as prestigious, and cost me more money. BUT I am comfortable there and have so many commitments. If I go to Kenyon next year, I probably won't be able to gain the leadership type positions I have at Hendrix since I will be a sophmore starting all over again. My junior year <em>because I am a spanish major</em> will be completed abroad. So really I will only be spending my sophmore and senior year at the school I chose.</p>

<p>I don't know what to do.</p>

<p>Leave a school that isn't as prestigious for my old dream school, but lose my friends, commitments, and boyfriend?</p>

<p>Attend a more prestigious school I once loved, but make friends all over again? </p>

<p>Does saving an additional 10,000 dollars a year really matter if I am truly happy at Hendrix?</p>

<p>Is it right to leave the college that I already promised myself to concerning presidency of my dorm and a 1st vice chair position?</p>

<p>Is studying language at Kenyon really going to make that much of a difference in the long run?</p>

<p>How much will my extra curriculars weigh in (if I stay at Hendrix) versus the name of the school (if I attend Kenyon)</p>

<p>I am so distraught and extremely upset. If they had only accepted me last year, this would be different. Now I am in a bind. I have until June 15th to make a decision and I am already crying myself to sleep about it. Kenyon put me through so much emotional torment last year when I did not get in. Now that I finally have the acceptance letter in my hand, I don't know what to do.</p>

<p>PLEASE HELP ME PARENTS! My parents are a little biased on the situation so I need some outside opinions.</p>

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<p>(boy)friends are transient; college education isn't. go to your dream school.</p>

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<p>Yes.</p>

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<p>No</p>

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<p>For grad school? GPA should have more weight.</p>

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<p>ECs count for nothing for grad school admission. But in jobs, they may be very important. I doubt David Halberstam's major or even GPa was important in his career; but his stint on the Harvard Crimson had a major effect (and, baiscally, he majored in the Crimson anyway).</p>

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<p>valuable, I remember you vividly from last year, & I even remember telling you to keep your screen name uppermost in your mind. That suggestion of mine has played out during your freshman year. That is, you are obviously a winner. You are a winner in a personal & psychological & non-superficial social way -- to have made close friends already, to be elected dorm president, etc. That is not necessarily the norm. You are a person who reaches out as a habit, with good results that speak for themselves. Surely you will, would do that at Kenyon. The intensity of your feelings right now are an indication of your depth & sincerity, as opposed to an indication of what your path should be. People who feel deeply have great trouble with separations & departures, because they feel so keenly & because sincerity is a way of life with them. My guess is that you will have these gnawing feelings when you graduate from <em>any</em> 4-yr. college, & at every milestone & social transition in your life. Get used to it & join the club:)</p>

<p>Perhaps if you were able to visit Kenyon again in the near future, you would feel/imagine bonding & committing as strongly next yr. as you feel in your current situation.</p>

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<p>My feeling (FWIW): Go to Kenyon. You seem committed to studying linguistics, and Kenyon seems to have MUCH better offerings. When I was looking at schools, I vetted them based on whether they have Japanese or not because I want to study it at college. This isn't to say schools that don't offer Japanese are inferior schools in any social or academic way, but they simply don't offer what I want to study. This seems to be your problem with Hendrix: it's a good (great, if you prefer) school, but it simply doesn't have what you need.</p>

<p>Also, you have mentioned in several posts how you want to be closer to home, which leads me to believe it is something you really want. Finally, the FA from Kenyon IS awesome.</p>

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<p>would you regret not accepting admissions to kenyon(dont think about hendrix)? that's the one and only question you should answer, and that answer well let you know what you should do.</p>

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<p>You are happy at Hendrix, it is a good fit for you.</p>

<p>You are taking a risk if you transfer to Kenyon. It may attract a different kind of student and it may be more difficult for you to find your niche.</p>

<p>You are smart and determined; it is not necessary to attend Kenyon for you to be successful.</p>

<p>I think you should go back to Hendrix.</p>

<p>[P.S. this post from a person who transferred colleges after my freshman year and spent my junior year abroad....]</p>

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<p>I lean heavily to suggesting that you stay at Hendirx. You're chasing an old dream -- let it go. Life moves forward, and that's a good thing, not a bad thing.</p>

<p>I am very surprised Kenyon offered you that much money. Are you certain it is renewable?</p>

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<p>I remember you from last year also, and I'm very glad things turned out well your first year.</p>

<p>You're seeing great arguments from both sides of the issue here. I guess my bias is showing, but I'd say look again at your academic interests. Are you still committed to languages? If not, what are you inclined to major in? Does Hendrix offer the best opportunity to pursue your academic interests, or does Kenyon?</p>

<p>I absolutely agree with every word epiphany wrote. You will do well and thrive in any environment, because that's who you are. You will tend to appreciate the people around you - and they will appreciate you - regardless of the school.</p>

<p>But you don't attend university solely for the social opportunities - you will find those anywhere, because it is your nature to seek them out. For just a moment, push the images of all your friends into the background. Look at yourself, and only yourself. What are you interested in? What do you want to study? Now look at the two schools, and their course offerings. Which one best fits where you want to go? If it's Hendrix, you're done. But if it's Kenyon, go back and visit Kenyon. If it remains a good fit, and your earlier impressions are borne out, make the leap.</p>

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<p>I'm not sure that I agree with Hayden about social opportunities.</p>

<p>I think it is possible to fit in and be very happy at one school and find it much more difficult to find the right crowd at another.</p>

<p>It's wonderful that you have been so happy at Hendrix, and you should really consider what it would be like to have to find a satisfying social circle in a new place. </p>

<p>It may also be more difficult to do as a sophmore transfer, as many friendships are established freshman year.</p>

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<p>Have you told Hendrix about your aid award from Kenyon? If you spin it very delicately -- "I applied before I fell in love with Hendrix, and now I'm in a FINANCIAL dilemma" -- they might renegotiate your aid situation. No college likes losing its most successful students, leaders, etc. to its competitors.</p>

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<p>I don't have a definitive answer for you, but I do have a story. I had a friend my freshman year who transfered from Swarthmore to Harvard her dream school. She spent a year at Harvard and realize what a great place Swarthmore was, and that for her it was a much better fit. She went back to Swarthmore with no regrets. If she hadn't gone to Harvard she would always have wondered. I guess I'd lean to going to Kenyon - esp. since they are offering great money - and seeing what it's like. I'm sure Hendrix will take you back.</p>

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<p>I have been following your posts since last year. My advice is to look at the classes and major that Hendrix can offer, and if they cannot offer what you want, then transfer. Boyfriends come and go, so do what is best for your education. The leadership position(s) should not keep you from studying what you are interested in. Your parents seemed happy with the financial aid that they got from Hendrix last year, so I would not consider that too much, unless your family's financial picture has changed, or you really need that money for graduate school. I would look at fit much more than the prestige factor. The question is really whether you can graduate with a degree in the major you want at Hendix, and if you can, then I would stay if I were in your shoes. Also, remember that "the grass is always greener on the other side".</p>

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<p>Well I am leaning towards staying at Hendrix although I am having trouble letting the idea of Kenyon go. I feel like the only way I could truly meet a bunch of girls my sophomore year at Kenyon is to join a sorority etc. I would have to give up the dream of being a president of something, since I will be new. I understand that leaving my friends and boyfriend should not be an issue. But for as social and outgoing as I am, I am afraid with Kenyon being a preppy, northern school heavily involved with greek life that I will have to really find my niche all over again. It sucks because I was also just granted a small Hendrix scholarship that I applied for earlier in the semester to study abroad next summer. So that means I will be abroad for a 1.5 years! I am taking German and Spanish next year at Hendrix, and can take Latin later on. I actually talked with a few girls in my etymology class (really the only linguistic type class Hendrix offers) who also had applied to Kenyon in the past and have a major interest in language. They wanted to design an independent major called "Modern Language and Literature" and base it off of Kenyon's major. Yes Kenyon is more prestigious, and the money is amazing...but I feel like Kenyon only in the last 10 years really got all of this recognition. To chose it for prestige is probably not the best idea, but I feel like Hendrix is on its way to being just as prestigious in the next 10 years with all of the new investments and talk of the Hendrix "academic village" at our school. (Hendrix is practically buying out the entire surrounding area of Conway and turning it into college type food shops, book stores, cafes, etc. along with the new athletic center they just built!) Kenyon will always be dear to my heart and its unfortunate that they accepted me when its in so many ways, too late. I do have the personal satisfaction of them accepting me, which drove me crazy last year every night before I slept. My parents want me to go to Kenyon, and although I am sure I would probably find friends, have some what more course offerings in languages there, and save some money, I don't know if I want to start all over again. I appreciate all that have posted. If I wasn't socially sound with tons of awesome responsibilities to look forward to, Kenyon may have been an option. I am sure I can take Intro to Linguistics at a summer school if I really wanted to. Well I am sure it sounds like as I am typing, I am talking myself out of Kenyon, and you are absolutely right lol It hurts to be offered something I wanted so badly at this point in time, but then again other kids would love to be in this type of pickle. I am just grateful that I am happy and involved in a college I love.</p>

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<p>Plus, the Spanish department at Hendrix has sent several of their students to top graduate schools in the past year. I am sure if I study Spanish at Hendrix I will okay. Kenyon offers Russian, Arabic, Chinese, etc. Yet, I can only study so many languages at once! Maybe I should just let Kenyon go.</p>

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<p>well my mom just came in and saw me on the computer and started the Kenyon rant again. I was so definite 10 seconds ago, now I am confused all over again! Ah I hate moms!</p>

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<p>It sounds like you are answering your own question. I wish you continued happiness and success wherever you decide to spend the next 3 years.</p>

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<p>Yes it sounds like you know you want to stay at Hendrix.</p>

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<p>I just spent the last week talking to a student at university that has all the right classes and offerings, but who is miserable over the social situation. There seems to be no one at the school who has anything in common with this person, who has been there a few years. If a social life is that important to you, it must be considered, even if it seems frivilous in comparison to the education you would receive elsewhere. You need to decide what weight to give each aspect, the education Kenyon offers or the social opportunities and familiarity of Hendrix. Also, parental input is important if they are paying for it. Instead of being angry with your mom, take whatever useful information you can from her in making your decision. Is it only the money that is behind her strong opinion, or does she see that Kenyon is a better choice for you? Why? If you can both talk calmly, try to have her express in words exactly what she likes about Kenyon. Maybe ask her to make up a pro/con chart with you, so you can each understand what the other is saying. You are an adult now, so the final decision is yours, unless she withdraws financial support that you must have to attend school. Otherwise, you make the decision.</p>

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<p>I think the idea of strategically letting Hendrix know the financial dilemma is reasonable (posted below)is good, to see if you could lighten the financial discrepancy. You might also try to visit Kenyon before they are out for the year, simply on a fact-finding, gut-checking visit. Your parents enthusiasm should probably not make your decision, unless the money really is a factor. They would probably support a visit, since they express a preference. Spending a day (or night) ther e might give you useful information about the feel of making a change. Or it could heighten your ambivalence--but probably not really make it much worse than it feels at present. Having gathered the data (Will Hendrix increase aid in any way?; does Kenyon still feel magical up close and when you can compare it to the joys you've found at Hendrix.) Then decide for what you need and want, not for your parents or for the crazy-making "prestige" lure. This is a real adult decision but it is not life-threatening or one where there is one right choice with a guarantee of happpiness...Good luck</p>