Please help me grade my essay :)

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>Assignment: Is compromise always the best way to resolve conflict?</p>

<p>A conflict refers to a disagreement between people holding different ideas or opinions. It happens every day between people, countries and societies. Although one might think that compromise is an ideal way to resolve conflicts, in reality this is not always the case. Several examples from literature and history would further support this assertment.</p>

<p>The disagreement between Montag and his colleagues in the novel Fahrenheit 451 of Ray Bradbury serves as an archetype to show that compromises have failed to resolve conflicts. Montag wanted to negotiate with Beatty and the others to stop burning books because he believes that there are things in books that are worth seeing and that will make life more meaningful. Yet, the others are adamant in preventing him from keeping and reading books because they think books gives thoughts about the dark and miserable side of life which ruin their happy current living state. Negotiation and dialogues between them come to an epic failure when Montag is finally asked to burn his own house with the books inside. Compromising cannot work if certain ideology which involves in the conflict is deeply grafted in any sides’ mind. In this case, the belief that sad sayings in books may affect the non-miserable life is so profoundly upheld that simple negotiation cannot obliterate. Thus, compromise is not always the best way to resolve conflicts.</p>

<p>In World War II, it cannot be said that the Fascism and the Alliances did not compromise. Several treaties and agreements were signed but they did not stop Hitler from carrying out his plan of dominating the whole world. The role of compromise was terribly undermined since the German still produced weapons and prepared for war and the Jewish was decimated as a part of Hitler’s plan. Finally the World War II out broke and the end of the war was when things went into order. Peaceful compromise void of bloody battles is what many people wish for. However, imagine if the World War II did not occur to stop Hitler, what would life become right at this moment? Therefore what happened before, during and after World War II was a paragon emphasizing the failure of compromising as the best means of resolving conflicts.</p>

<p>Meticulous analysis of the conflicts in Fahrenheit 451, Iran nuclear problem and world War II have strongly illustrate how compromise is, indeed, not the best way to incur with conflicts. When disagreements are related to benefits or profoundly upheld ideology, more powerful methods for resolving will be more helpful. </p>

<p>This is my first essay. Please feel free to give me any feedback. Thank you very much in advance.</p>

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<p>I’ll grade yours if you grade mine… it’s a little further down from this thread</p>

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<p>pretty good, probably a 10 or 12 imo. You have good ideas, just work a little on grammar.
Don’t say “come to an epic failure” and “the World War II”. Also in your conclusion you said, " Meticulous analysis of the conflicts in Fahrenheit 451, Iran nuclear problem and world War II". You never mentioned the Iran nuclear problem in you essay … :D</p>

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<p>haha, firstly, I did not review the essay carefully since I wrote in the exact timing.
Secondly, I see the Iran thingy (I don’t know why it is there since I did not see it in my handwritten version! :-/
thank you @ghopeful93, I’m looking forward to reading your essay :)</p>

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<p>can anyone else please give me some other comments??? pleaseeee!!!</p>

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<p>Well just a few errors and the Iran thing but also be careful not to force big vocabulary to make it seem better. You fit it in well here so that’s good that they are actually used rationally. Also, a third example would have been ideal but I know that time kills it so at least you finished with what you had. So yeah if you think you can then write a thesis with the three “examples” so the intro is not ambiguous. Basically the intro is unfinished without a specific thesis. But once again I’m sure you would have done all this if you had the timing down. Good luck!</p>

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<p>It’s good, but i noticed several errors in diction and tenses. Also adding some details to your examples would’nt hurt. I’d say it’s a 9 or 10</p>

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<p>@9jagurl96: can you give me some suggestion of how to add some more details inside? It’s already been very long and I really don’t know what else to add in. I wrote this in 17 minutes so the errors are unavoidable, but I’m still trying to improve on the diction and tenses errors. thank you very much!</p>

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<p>From what i’ve studied so far, i think the sat graders like to see dates and places and stuff like that. You could name the place the agreement (compromise ish) was made and the date. It’s sure to impress the graders</p>

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<p>@ 9jagurl96: good advice. thank you! Where are you from anyway? :smiley: You can send a message to me if you want :D</p>