Please help me grade this SAT essay.

<p>My English teacher is bad. I even do not believe that he knows what is SAT essay. So please help me. </p>

<p>Do people need to “unlearn”, or reject, many of the old assumptions and ideas? (07.12)</p>

<p>The first step of true “learning” is “unlearning” for several reasons. In natural science area, old assumptions and established thoughts are, in most cases, flawed due to underdeveloped devices and outside influences of religion and myths; in art and literature field, not following current fashion is a proven way to hit the world surprisingly and make people successful. </p>

<p>In natural science and technology, there is only one correct answer to a question. In order to set up the theory one considers correct, he has to prove that all others relating to that is wrong. One of those people who make their opinions heard is Charles Darwin. He rejected people’s view in his time that man were created by the god by publishing On the Origin of Species and discovered that humans and animals shared the same ancient ancestry. At the age of 22, he made the Beagle Voyage that was fundamental to his thought in On the Origin of Species. He circumnavigated the world, spending much of the time on the American continent. After his voyage, he finished his 770-page diary, 1750-page notes, and 5436 drawings of skins, bones and carcasses. Then he used those files as well as discussions with his friends to make On the Origin of Species. Darwin “unlearned” the widely held concept of where human came from and laid the foundation of modern biology by rejecting the widely held idea that human was superior to species. </p>

<p>In literature, though there is no single way in which essays and novels should be written and no single criterion to judge people’s composition, establishing a new style still requires the courage not to follow other people’s advice. A person doing this must endure flooding criticisms. Samuel Clemens, better known as Mark Twain, succeeded by “unlearning” the popular, serious writing style and made his way as a humorist. As time passed by, his writing style was gradually applauded by other writers. They found that in Clemens’ writings was a universal humor, independent of any nationality and ethnicity. Instead of using satire to mock something, he revealed sympathy of the thing he made humor on. He endeavored to make his humor easily understandable to all cultures, thus appealing people all over the world to pay attention to social problems. Had Clemens conformed to others when deciding his writing style, he would not have contributed so many brilliant writings to the history. </p>

<p>One can make far-reaching discoveries and splendid accomplishments only when he can block every influence of established theories since if he is influenced by other people’s thought, his findings are biased and his achievements are not original. Therefore, to make the society a constantly developing one, people must reject the ideas of former people, no matter how illustrious they are.</p>

<p>Your examples are fine, and focused. You may want to use the term “reject” instead of “unlearn” throughout. You overemphasize the notion that “old” is wrong. But of course that’s not always the case. It’s not necessary to exaggerate in an essay. The effect of exaggeration on the reader is often negative.</p>

<p>Unfortunately your writing is awkward. Am I right in thinking that you are not a native English speaker? I encourage you to rework the essay. Avoid the frequent pronouns, exaggerated assertions, use of semicolons, and long sentences. Have an English speaker help you.</p>