Please help me I am a freshman and I need criticism on it .....,PLEASEE

Dear SAP Committee:

This letter is to appeal to the impending action of Suspension, so I may continue receiving Federal Financial Aid at _____College.Please understand that due to my Academic Probation Contract my credit hours requirement led to my suspension I was supposed to obtain 21 credits and so far I obtained 19, I did meet my GPA requirement. I did not pass my Math 138 course with a C, I obtained a D 66.28% which left me 3.72% short of the 70% marking.
The reason I have not met Satisfactory Academic Progress is because I let my mental disabilities define me , let unfortunate home situations and financial duress fester over me, and became comfortable within my depression. I was not surprised, but very upset to have received a letter informing me of my suspension. I’m writing with the hope and prayer that you will reinstate me for next semester. Also, i would like to thank you for allowing me the opportunity to explain my circumstances.

I admit I had a very difficult time last semester, and my grades suffered as a result. I take full responsibility for my poor academic performance. Furthermore I would like to explain the circumstances.

I knew that registering for 17-18 credit hours in the fall would require a lot of me and 14 in the spring , but I needed to earn the hours so that I was on track to graduate on time. I thought I could handle the workload, and I still think I could have, except that during these past semesters I became very depressed discouraged and dispirited . While enrolled here at _______ College I had received a multitude of calls due to very close friends-family members passing away, financial issues causing me to almost withdraw. It also put me in a stagnate mental state causing me to stay in my room for days, not attend class, not eat, and often take car and sometime bus trips to ________ very frequently as that is my hometown and where I was born and raised. Needless to say, the three day - week long trips at a time cut into my study time. Even when I was at school, I was very distracted with the home and financial situation and was unable to focus on my schoolwork nor keep a sane mind. I also took for granted the freedoms I had being 6-7 hours away from home. I believe that I got comfortable and didn’t realize the importance as well as the difference of college from high school. Realizing that you cannot look back and call mom or dad was a huge wake up call for me.

The spring semester of 2018 was a major setback that I plan not to have again. Despite the difficulties I faced, If given this second chance I plan to do whatever it takes to be successful. I promise there would be a major improvement in my academic grades and progress period. This second chance will give me the opportunity to prove that I really want an education and will do everything and anything in my power to get one. I

I understand now that I should have communicated with my professors (instead of avoiding them), or even taken a leave of absence. I thought I could handle all of these burdens, and I tried my best, but I was wrong.
I love ______ College, and it would mean so much to me to graduate with a degree from this school, which would make me the first person in my family to complete a college degree. If I am reinstated, I will focus much better on my schoolwork, raise my GPA, realistically create a study plan, take fewer hours, and manage my time more wisely. Fortunately, I have set up to get guidance and counseling to better deal with my depression, so I should not need to travel home nearly as often and not let it affect me going to class. Also, I have met with my advisor, and I will follow her advice about communicating better with my professors from now on.

I want you all to know that I am trying very sternly to improve myself as this is the image I do not want my institution to have on me. I am asking of the committee to allow me to retake the Math Course this summer here at _______ and I will pay for this course out of pocket. I truly hope you all understand my asking of you. I’m a bright student who had a very unfortunate freshman year. I guarantee that my sophomore year will be an astonishing improvement. I hope you will give me a second chance. Thank you for considering this appeal.

Sincerely,

There are a lot of grammatical and mechanical issues, but I think you did a good job of explaining yourself.

The talk of seeking counseling in particular helps your case in that it makes your plans for success seem more concrete, in my opinion (since you said emotional issues were a significant factor in your poor performance).

Stagnant, not Stagnate

  1. Were you medically diagnosed with depression? If not, have you seen or will you see a doctor? If so, then you may be able to get a retroactive medical withdrawal.
  2. Have you seen a doctor? Is your depression under control? What evidence do you have?
  3. Can you appeal your dismissal?

A successful appeal must do several things:

  1. show that you understand what went wrong
  2. show that you take responsibility for the academic failures
  3. show that you have a plan for future academic success
  4. in a broad sense, show that you are being honest with yourself and the committee

Here are some examples:

http://collegeapps.about.com/od/Academic-Dismissals/a/Sample-Appeal-Letter-For-An-Academic-Dismissal.htm

Some of this is general, and some specific to your situation.

  1. search this topic on CC and you will see many other posts on academic appeals
  2. Make sure your letter states what the issue was that caused you to have academic difficulties
  3. Did you talk to your professors/dean of students about the issue?
  4. Did you make use of the many resources your school has? if not, why not?
  5. Find out what those resources are…e.g. counseling center, talking to professors, talking to your adviser, withdrawing from class, talking to dean, maybe taking incompletes. Include specifics from your college. Here are more ideas http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-life/1920853-college-is-a-step-up-from-hs-16-tips-on-doing-well-in-college.html
  6. State how you would use those in the future
  7. How are you addressing what caused the issue?
  8. Think about if you should continue at college, or take a break.
  9. Think about if you should continue at a community college, to be close to your family
  10. How is your college funded? Will that continue?

In general, keep in mind what the college wants…they want students who can succeed. They need to know that you understand what the issue was, know now the resources that you can use, how the problems is resolved so you will not have academic issues in the future.