Please help me with a difficult situation w/ roommate!

<p>My first year semester of college, I slept 4am-8am, and 4pm-8pm and my roommate was cool with it. I felt so overwhelmed with studying that I'd wake up at 8pm and begin studying for hours, I'd be in and out of the library while he was sleeping. But our room had a nice little study alcove, so there was barely any light showing. The best advice I can give is wear one of those eye masks while you sleep and train yourself to be a deeper sleeper. She prob. is really overwhelmed in addition to missing her family and friends. Toward the end of my first semester, I gained control of studying, etc and converted to a much more normal sleeping schedule.</p>

<p>I had the worst roommate interactions and this is piddly doo. If you request a roommate change, you could get stuck with much worse person and the residential manager or whoever will get REALLY angry with you if you ask for a change again.</p>

<p>However, if you must change you can (I'll warn you below why you shouldn't though). What you do is tell the admin that you have irreconciable differences and 'troubles' will hit the fan if you don't get a new apartment. Also, you can ask to speak to a supervisor or call company directly. I once had an admin who wouldn't change me, and I just assured him, "there will be a fist fight if you don't move me." And he assigned me elsewhere.</p>

<p>Here is my stories. I've had to deal with a guy who stole my stuff, brought trashy people in, listened to EXTREMELY loud music, and smoked pot in the living room (made my clothes smell). He was evicted not for stealing my stuff, but because he didn't pay the rent. I had a stinking landlord who wouldn't hear of my being taken, but of course he protected his assets. </p>

<p>I also had a very hostile roommate who watched movies in the living room often that were adult gay movies, he shaved his body in the shower so that whenever I showered the water went up my ankles with his stubble of hairs (oh yes and he showered with the door open, and he wouldn't flush his bodily fluids down, he liked show and tell I guess. This was in a 4 bedroom apartment, and he made 1 guy bail and the other would go home a lot of the time. </p>

<p>Just get a eye bra and some ear plugs and go to bed on your time. Trust me, you got it easy, if she sleeps during the day you can study, read, or watch the tube in the living area, and you shouldn't have to wake her up..let her do that... It is in my opinion better to deal with an isolated nerd than it is to a person who is the life of the party who sleeps at the appropriate time.</p>

<p>However, you could always embarass her and invite people over, because most nighty people prolly wouldn't appreciate having everyone know they are insomniacs. Or have people over just before she goes to bed and she'll probably fight the sleep urge.</p>

<p>If you take the attitude that, when something goes wrong, somebody ELSE better do something about it, life is going to be very, very hard for you to navigate as an adult. If you are going to live in a college dorm, you need to start learning how to live with other people, and that means learning how to negotiate with your roommate for what you need to share the space comfortably. You can't assume she knows what she does upsets you - she may be used to sharing a space with someone who could sleep through anything - but if you don't sit down and have some conversations with her about this, why should anyone else have to do it on your behalf.</p>

<p>Don't change rooms , because it makes you look bad to your peers in the program and the people in charge, and because when life gives you a chance to grow and learn, running away and hiding doesn't benefit you in any way.</p>

<p>theotherside- I have talked to my roommate on several occasions and things are improving, but there are still problems. I considered changing rooms only as a last resort, and not before I discussed the problems with her. It is not that I don't know how to negotiate and live with someone else. I have had roommates many times before and I have never had anyone who was this unusual and difficult to reason with. I really think she thinks her sleeping habits are normal. I don't feel that it would be fair for others to look down on me if I did change (which doesn't look like it will work out). I am not a difficult person, and I get along very well with everyone in the program. I kind of feel I am not getting the experience the others in the program are. I never play music for fear of awakening my roommate. I never leave the door open, and I have never brought friends into the room. I am slightly jealous that they all have normal roommates who they can be friends with and sleep at fairly regular hour. I am good friends and very compatible with everyone else, and I kind of resent that I am rooming with the one person who I feel I am incompatible with. I think most people would feel this way in my situation. For example, last night I was awakened at 3:45 a.m. when she came in after showering and turned all the lights on. Do other parents think I am being unreasonable and immature? If you do, I will try to change my attitude. I can definitely say that this has turned me off to this school and I would not consider attending.</p>

<p>First of all, the school has nothing to do with you not getting along with your roomate. The school didn't know your roomate or you before you came. While your roomate might think her hours are normal, they are not normal to you. You need to tell her that turning on the light while you are sleep inconsiderate. Ask her if she could please get dressed in the bathroom and maybe turn on a little desk lamp when she comes in. She is entiltled to shower whenever she wants. She seems to be painfully shy; maybe her parents forced her to attend this program and she is very unhappy.</p>

<p>To most of us, your schedule is the normal one. If you need to study during the afternoon while she is sleeping, then study. You moving around the room during the afternoon and morning is just the same as her being up during the middle of the night. Go along with your routine as normal and if she wakes up, she wakes up. She doesn't understand or care that your sleep is interrupted, so she most likely doesn't care that you interrupt hers! I don't mean you should be nasty and make tons of noise on purpose, but go along with your daily needs.</p>

<p>As fars as friends in the room, I'm guessing you could go to their rooms. What would happen if a friend came to your door? If you let them in whould your roomate sleep or might she get up and join you? You might try having a friend come by and see what happens. I am sure you have told some of your friends about your roomate, so ask one to come by. For all you know your roomate will just sleep through your visit. You have no reason to be embarrassed. As far as the music, turn it on; don't blast it, but at a normal level. Again, I bet she won't care. </p>

<p>Now that I said all that, the best thing to do is to talk to your roomate. Ask her if you can have friends over and play your music. Tell her that her light is keeping you awake. Let her know that you are a very light sleeper and are dragging to class everyday. If she is a nice girl I am sure you guys can work this out. YOu only have a few more weeks to go; make the best of them.</p>

<p>Enswim
Being awoken at 3 am, and roommate turning all lights on, is beyond the reasoning stage. That calls for direct confrontation. Tell her that kind of behavior is quite selfish and cannot be repeated. Don't be hesitant to express your rights. You should be able to have friends in room, listen to music, etc, during evening times. Be firm. good luck</p>