<p>Thank you to everyone who has responded. I am on break this whole week, lockdown galore; however, I’m just going to stay in, read, write, play music when they’re not home, maybe chat with friends online.
After that, I think I will go see my school counselor. I don’t think I’m comfortable with saying all of this in person, but I have to start somewhere.
Reading back on everything I wrote, I realize I trivialized certain aspects of the situation, omitted stuff, and I was running on pure emotion yesterday. I’ll just say now that while they have done worse things than I decided to say, they have also done incredible things for me. I do not want to reciprocate immaturity with more immaturity, and there are people with tremendously more serious issues than my own.
With that said, I realize I have some things to do now. I should mention that I’ve only interacted with my GC once and she seemed like a dumbass, but maybe I can catch her at a better time. I do talk to my brother, but there isn’t much he can do; I should also mention that my parents had marital problems when he was younger, and he was the butt of a different kind of pressure and abuse. He could overcome it though, so hopefully I can get out of here and do everything I want to do.
Other family members? My parents are the most normal of them all. 
Thank you again to everybody. It’s amazing that you all responded the way you did to a whiny teenage brat on a college forum, haha. I do have another account here so I’ve seen some of you around, but I didn’t anticipate such overwhelmingly helpful replies.</p>
<p>Please report back. We are concerned. Good kids need support as well as “bad” kids.</p>
<p>BTW, suggestion: Send your GC an email even over break. He/she may be checking over break so maybe you could see him/her sooner rather than later.</p>
<p>And if your GC turns out to be useless, try your principal, or a trusted teacher. Adults care.</p>
<p>Your school probably has a non-guidance counselor or social service provider. The person who does that job at our HS is wonderful, and I know at least one kid he really helped. (I’m sure there are many more, but this is a kid who confided in me so I know for sure.) See if you can talk to that person instead of your GC. Your GC may also refer you to that person.</p>
<p>Yes, Consolation is right; there may be a psychologist on staff.
If not, call the suicide hotline, they can direct you to resources in the community, even if you are not actively suicidal when you call.</p>
<p>Good luck.</p>
<p>Any update?</p>
<p>Obviously people on this board care about you - I hope you can find someone to talk to at school. One thing that should be noted is that while a counselor or a psychologist must keep information confidential, if he or she believes that you are in danger of committing suicide, they will work with you to access appropriate help. If you decline their help - they must take steps to insure your safety. They can’t just keep their fears to themselves. </p>
<p>I am hoping that things are going better for you. It is horrible feeling like the lesser child. I also hope that at least SOME of your parents actions were in the midst of arguments that had become irrational and unreasonable - but were not typical for them. Perhaps they are under their own stresses and have behaved in ways that unusual.</p>
<p>You have made a great start by reaching out and speaking out. </p>
<p>I think you will be surprised by how willing people are to help and how many people have been in your situation. I also grew up with a verbally and emotionally abusive parent and I know the toll it can take. I survived and many others did, too.</p>
<p>Counselors and teachers can be invaluable and I hope you connect with them and tell them what you are experiencing. Difficult as it is, remember your parents do not have final say in your worth as a person and no good parent would ever want to make their child feel hopeless.</p>
<p>I have three sons now and I learned a lot from my abusive parent about what NOT to do. My heart breaks for you but there is hope and help.</p>
<p>Hi everyone, thanks for so much for your concern. You don’t know how much it means to me. I did shoot my counselor an e-mail, no response yet. I can talk to a few of my teachers, but I’d rather not confide in any of them about this. It’s that paranoia thing, haha. I’m pretty much keeping to myself, and I tried to just ignore them today. It makes them a little angrier, but I don’t wanna lose my own cool with anyone so I just let them act stupid. My dad seems to be on a warpath now, so as long as I steer clear of him for a few days and pretend to study, I’ll be fine. They’d kill me if I talked to any of their own friends or even my friends’ parents, so I’d really rather wait to meet with my potentially useless counselor (now that I think about it, we might have some other counselor who deals with this, I’ll try to find out). Thanks again… end of week should be interesting, we were supposed to go visit some colleges, ha…</p>
<p>thesecondtime-please don’t allow the problems you are having with your parents cause you to undermine your own potential. Yes, they want you to study, and you do not think much of their tactics. But, instead of pretending to study, why not actually do some productive studying–for yourself, for your future. Spite won’t help you get where you want to be.</p>
<p>I’m pulling for you.</p>
<p>Ugh, I do study though. I just like to study when I want to, when I feel the stress of wanting to succeed and not the stress of having my parents holler in my face about it. I like to think I’m semi-productive when I’m pretending to study haha, in that I like to play music, read and write? I just choose to read Eggers over Shakespeare. I know you’re right though, I know everyone’s right about that. AP Spanish time it is…</p>
<p>Well Eggers is cool. No need to apologize for that.</p>
<p>I don’t know if this will help, but I can tell you that your story sounds familiar to me–I’ve seen in in my own daughter’s classmates when she was in high school and in the stories of some students I interview as an alumni interviewer. What I have seen from them is that there is a definite possibility that you’ll “disappoint” your parents if you don’t echo your brother’s every accomplishment. It’s a failing on your parents’ part. But there’s every reason to hold your head up and find your own success. If it’s in Eggers over Shakespeare, well, there’s something there…and it’s definitely not failure.</p>
<p>Hang in there. I’m sure it feels like an eternity to you, but you will be leaving home for college soon. Junior year is not that far from ending. Hopefully the summer will be a little less intense in terms of pressure to study. In the fall you’ll be pulling your college apps together. Once they’re in, you just have to wait it out until decisions are mailed, but by then what’s done is done in terms of grades, tests, etc.</p>
<p>The second half of senior year should be MUCH better, since you’ll have your plans to get away already in place, and there won’t be any point for your parents to rant and hassle you anymore.</p>
<p>Just the rest of this school year (not much left), and 1st semester of next year. After that it should get easier and easier. Junior year can be the most stressful for students, and in your case it may be the most stressful for your parents too… not that that’s any excuse for their behavior.</p>
<p>I’m glad to hear you’re feeling a bit better. This is a good time to study for AP exams, since they’re coming up in a few more weeks. This is also a good time to go for looooooong jogs around town, if that’s your thing. Hang in there.</p>
<p>Does your “perfect” older sibling know this is going on? Can you get him to help you talk to your parents? Since they think he is so great, they will probably listen to him and if you think he would be on your side, I think you should approach your parents with him at your side, definitely not alone under any circumstances with their history of throwing things,etc. You are not safe trying to talk to them by yourself. If big bro is not available then bring a trusted friend to be present for safety and moral support.
Regardless of who accompanies you, I highly recommend that you have a suitcase packed and left at a friends house for some cooling off time away from them.
Good luck and let us know how it goes.</p>
<p>TheSecondtime – is your family a member of any church or religous body? Possibly there is a minister or someone there you can talk to.</p>
<p>I’m glad you contacted your guidance counselor. He/she may not get back to you until school is in session again. As for your parents, they need someone they respect speak to them about the situation at home. You’ve mentioned that you tried suicide twice. This is very, very serious. Do you think if you show them this post, they will understand how much their actions and lack of support are hurting you. We are all supporting you here at CC. Come back to us as often as you can so we can help get you through this. I do think your entire family would benefit from counseling.</p>
<p>Way to go, secondtime. Stay balanced. I suspect you have been “playing the game” for quite a while. Not much time left, really, until you can have more autonomy- though it may feel like an eternity. Please pursue the options urged above, and come here and talk to us any time you get discouraged.</p>
<p>I hope you are feeling better. I agree with mafool, study hard and get into a great college. A distant college might be a great option.</p>
<p>When you start applying in the fall, look for one or two colleges that you have a good chance of receiving extremely good merit money, even if it is not a dream school. It’s best to have a back up plan in case your parents flake out completely and refuse to pay or file for financial aid.</p>
<p>If by any chance you manage to be a National Merit Semifinalist and then a Finalist, you will have several schools that will give you a free ride even if they are not your first choice or your parents. Alabama, Oklahoma, Arizona and a few others come to mind. There was another student who was posting who is in a similar predicament but is a senior this year and was going to Alabama to escape the abysmal family dynamics. I can’t remember the thread or how this poster is doing. The main problem this student had was where to live and what to do between graduation and the start of school. This person could be a good resource for you.
Can any parents help locate this thread or the username of that poster?</p>