Please help me with my appeal letter.

To whom it may concern,
My name is xxxx xxxx, and I am writing this to appeal my academic disqualification from the California Maritime Academy. I saw that I had failed a class during the fall semester and was not surprised to see the letter of academic disqualification, but, I was frustrated. There is no one person that I am frustrated with other than myself. I understand that I could have easily passed all of my classes this past semester if I had set my priorities right.

I am not trying to make any excuses, but a big factor that kept me from doing my best was the fact that my parents were moving overseas. My father got orders to work on Kadena Airbase in Okinawa, Japan and my mother moved with him. School became more stressful than it was before, since my support left. This led me to cope with that stress with many distractions from my schoolwork. I now fully understand that I have to get over my parents being away, grow up and set my priorities straight. This means that I know I have to focus more on my studies and worry less about staying up late hanging out with friends. I felt that I would be able to juggle all of these distractions with the workload that I had put on myself in the last semester, but I understand that is not so.

I want you to know of my dedication to staying at this school and that I take my education at this school seriously. When I was put into academic probation and had my financial aid taken away I applied for private loans to be able to stay and continue my education at this school. My cumulative GPA after last semester was a 1.95 and know that I can keep a 2.0 cumulative GPA and will show this to you if given the chance.

I have come up with an action plan to help me raise my GPA should you choose to reinstate me. The first step would be to make sure that I only take the minimum of 12 units. I feel that in doing so I will be able to put more focus into the classes instead of having to spread my focus across more classes than I can handle. Second, I will make sure to retake the classes that I have received a F in to help increase my understanding in those courses. The third step is to rid myself of my distractions. This would mean that I will delete and uninstall all of the video games from my laptop and brining my gaming consoles back to my grandparents’ house in San Diego. I will also make sure to set certain hours in my day- according to my schedule- solely for studying and completing homework assignments. In the past I have not used the university’s resources in the best way possible, but I will make sure to go to the tutoring center when I know I need help on a subject. I will also be sure to take advantage of being able to talk one on one with my professors during their office hours.
I fully understand that I took advantage of my parents being away overseas in the wrong way and I will learn from my mistakes by showing you that I am a better student than what you have seen in the past. Thank you very much for taking the time to review my appeal.

Sincerely,
xxxx xxxx

Looks fine, few suggestions.

2.0? That seems a bit low. Unless this is engineering, try to raise to 2.4 or so. Shows major future dedication than just 0.05.

The last paragraph makes it seem as if you purposefull slacked off even if it was in the wrong way. Reword it so it says more of a “I know I let my parents moving away impact me for too long and strive to achieve success as I become more independant” etc. Something like this

2.0 is the minimum needed to stay so that is why I said 2.0 but I could say that I will strive for a higher GPA and yes this is engineering by the way.

Thank you so much for the suggestions! I will definitely make some changes.

There’s a few places where the grammar could be improved. I’d try to get that done before you send it off.

There are probably more, but it’s early and I’m barely awake:

Paragraph 1, remove the comma after “but”.

I would drop the line about “hanging out with friends.”

3rd paragraph, insert a comma after “aid taken away”

skip a line before the last paragraph/