Hi! I was wondering if somebody can read my letter of appeal and give me some feedback? Thank you!

<p>Dear Committee, </p>

<p>I am writing this letter to appeal my academic dismissal from ***. I was not surprised, but disappointed to receive an email stating that I am now dismissed; however I urge you for a second chance to redeem myself. </p>

<p>This past year, I have had a very difficult time keeping my grades up for various reasons. I know that there shouldn't be any reasons for why my grades were low, but I would like to explain the circumstances that had led to this. I never thought that registering for 15 credit hours would require a lot of me, but I wanted to earn the hours so I can complete my liberal arts credit in time. I thought I could handle the work, but due to being an officer of APAA and falling into the social life, I wasn't able to handle the 15 credits. Needless to say, being an officer of APAA had cut into my study time because as an officer, I had responsibilities. As an officer, it was important to socialize with group members and get to know them; this was a way of meeting new people and making friends. Falling into the social life, I had a hard time balancing my study time and hanging out with friends. By the time I know, I was doing poorly in my academics and was placed on academic probation. Christmas break had given me the time to think about what I did wrong and what could I have done to improve on my grades for spring semester. I should have asked for help when I needed it, I should have reached out to my professors and advisors but I was too afraid of what they will think of me and my bad grades, and I could have said no to hanging out with friends and spent more time on studying. I wanted to change my bad habits and be more organize.</p>

<p>I returned to school in the spring semester with my head set straight on school. I was doing better in my classes by spending less time hanging out with friends. I was getting better grades on my assignments and exams, except that my father became very ill in March. When I heard that he was rushed to the emergency and had kidney failure, I was devastated. My mother had to quit her job to take care of my father because my father was under a lot of stress and had thoughts of suicide. Once again my grades started to go downhill. I was very distracted with the home situation and was unable to focus on my schoolwork.After finals week, I returned home as soon as possible to help my family out. My father now goes to the doctor three times a week to get his kidney dialysis done, while my mom drives and cares for him. I was the first in my family to go to college and because of that, my priority then was my family. I feel that I should have taken lighter course classes and not 15 credit hours again because I was having difficulties. I should have talked with my advisor about what classes I should take before registering for spring semester due to being on probation. I was taking general biology which was a 5 credit course and retaking my 4 credit psychology course, which I failed, from the fall semester. The classes that I was having trouble in, I have communicated with my professors on what I can still do to get my grade up. I have also scheduled a time to meet with my advisor to talk about my grades and what I can do to raise my GPA up. I was much stressed and thought that I could handle all of these burdens, I had tried, but I was wrong. </p>

<p>*** was the best choice of college I've made, I was very happy when I received the letter of acceptance. It would mean a lot to me to graduate with a degree from this college. If I am reinstated, I want to seek out as much help as I can get. I am willing to attend workshops that will help me with study habits and my classes. I will limit my credit hours and use an academic planner or calendar to keep me on track/organize. I want to repeat classes that I didn't do so well in. If family problems come up, I shouldn't keep it to myself but to reach out to other and speak up. Please understand that my low GPA does not mean that I am a bad student. I am truly a good student who went through many difficulties during her first year of college. I hope you will give me another chance. </p>

<p>Sincerely, </p>

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<p>I’m not sure why you dedicate so much time to such a lame excuse; it sounds like a thinly-veiled admission that you partied all semester. No one activity would prevent someone from managing an otherwise-normal course load in the vast majority of circumstances. Without knowing the details of your situation, it seems you’d probably do better to simply fess up to whatever was really keeping you from your studies.</p>

<p>Rather than giving the admissions committee a sob story, why don’t you just get right to the point</p>

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<p>I think that you will have a stronger case after you complete a semester with satisfactory grades at a community college. It sounds like your parents could use support right now, anyway, and it will be a good time for you to be home helping out.
You should meet with the advisor at the community college as you register for classes this fall, to ensure that you are taking a manageable course load.</p>

<p>I just wanted to let you know that you have a lot of grammatical errors in your letter. It also gets very informal and colloquial in places.</p>