<p>Collegeboard just released student score reports and I received the essay I wrote.
I thought I wrote a pretty good essay, but it seems as though I need to improve more.</p>
<p>If anyone has the time to read my 25 min essay I wrote, please do so and answer the following questions.</p>
<p>1.) What is your score on the essay, out of 6? Out of 12? (I want to compare your scores with collegeboard)</p>
<p>2.) How should I improve for the May test? What are some general thoughts about the essay? Were there any significant errors? (Like, not answering prompt, 4 paragraphs, examples, conclusion, etc.)</p>
<p>It would be greatly appreciated!</p>
<p>The prompt was:</p>
<p>Are photographs straightforward representations of real life, or are they artistic creations reflecting the photographer's point of view? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.</p>
<p>Here is the link to my essay
First Page: essayImageAction.do</a> | Flickr - Photo Sharing!
Second Page: essayImageAction-1.do</a> | Flickr - Photo Sharing!</p>
<p>I’m SO glad I got the reality TV prompt for that test! Ahhh my essay would’ve sucked had I been given that prompt! What’d you get on your essay? And how’d you get it back?</p>
<p>LOL Please answer the questions, I’m stressing out and I will tell you the real score.
I actually love art! So this essay should have been easy for me…</p>
<p>If you log onto your collegeboard account and go to your scores section click on the “Understanding you Test performance” link and you will be able to see your personalized student scored report.</p>
<p>How’d you see your ESSAY!?</p>
<p>If I were an SAT essay scorer, I would give this essay a 3 or 4 out of 6, so your total score would be 6 or 7. I don’t think you’d get two 4s, so I bet you had a score below an 8. Am I right? This ended up rounding your Multiple Choice section score down (what was it and what was your final writing section score)? You need about an 8 for your essay not to hurt your multiple choice score. (The essay is weighted about 30%, Multiple Choice is 70%, so don’t forget to look to improve your score there, too.)</p>
<p>Here are the central improvements I would have you make. Remember that this is based on what they are looking for, not what makes a good essay, necessarily.</p>
<ul>
<li>make your thesis your first sentence and make it clear which side of the argument you are on.</li>
<li>write a 5 paragraph essay (I think you had 4)</li>
<li>have three reasons why your thesis is valid; it doesn’t matter what your reasons are or where they come from, but they must be chosen carefully <em>to support your thesis</em></li>
<li>the intro should state the thesis and introduce your three reasons</li>
<li>paragraphs 2, 3, 4 should be about each of your supporting reasons.</li>
<li>at the end of each paragraph, restate the thesis. Transition to the next reason. (Have a "smooth progression of ideas.)</li>
<li>use some kind of framework to lead the reader through your points (use First/Second/Third, One/Two/Three, or Most importantly/Also/Lastly, for example)</li>
<li>Write a conclusion that stays on the same side as your thesis. Do not include discussion of counter points.</li>
<li>Hold your essay up from a distance? Is the space filled? Are the paragraphs balanced? It should at least “look” like a “12” essay!</li>
<li>Read the Essay Rubric on p. 105 of the Official SAT Study Guide for the differences between a 4, 5 and 6 to get the idea of what they are looking for… or what they think they are looking for, anyway.</li>
</ul>
<p>There are other ways to arrive at a higher score, but this is the easiest way to describe how to do it.</p>
<p>hope this is useful :)</p>
<p>The examples were great. I’m not experienced at all, but I’m guessing you got 4/4 based on the fact that you’re upset. Here’s my personal thoughts: the introduction was very choppy and abrupt between sentences two and three. The thesis seemed strained at times. I had a hard time figuring out what some of your points were. I would’ve explained more clearly HOW photographers “enhanced the seemingly realistic effect of photographs” to forms of art (and not in the conclusion) and expanded on the how the artist’s manipulation of photographs renders them art pieces (as opposed to reality).</p>
<p>Interesting take on the question leads to interesting (but somewhat indirect and ineffective) thesis.</p>
<p>I’d give it a 4/6. Out of 12, it could be either a 7 or 8. I’m leaning towards an 7.</p>
<p>Here’s my advice to you:</p>
<p>You have good language. You have potential to be a great writer. You also, for this essay, had great examples. However, I agree that your essay could have been better organized. For the SAT, fill the two pages completely (having lines go to the end of each margin) and use the five-paragraph format (introduction, support 1, support 2, support 3, conclusion). In the intro, set the scene for what you’re going to talk about. Have the final sentence of that paragraph be your thesis (your position). Get into the details (examples/evidence) in your support paragraphs. Then, wrap it up (restate your thesis idea) in the conclusion, not introducing any new ideas. End your essay on an insightful note for the final sentence. Your language/specificity of examples were great, so just build on that by following this format, and you’ll be good!</p>
<p>Whoaaaa I did not know my essay sucked that badly!
But I am very grateful for all of the advice and will definitely be utilizing it come May.</p>
<p>I actually received a 9! Crazy, right? So by your opinions, I should have received a much a lower score. I think maybe the readers saw a potential in writing, maybe it was too flowered so they gave a higher score than necessary?</p>
<p>I should be very mechanical when writing an SAT essay, right? 5 paragraphs consisting of an intro, body, and conclusion. Systematic concrete details and commentary? Sounds good.</p>
<p>The PRB didn’t use photography…</p>
<p>I know lol I lied because I could not come up with anything directly based off of photography.</p>
<p>They were a sect of talented artists who made beautiful oil paintings that clearly resembled photography and its influence. I love art history lol</p>