<p>So here I am at the end of my college application process, trying to choose between colleges. I got full tuition at Brandeis, not too shabby. But then I also got PLME at Brown which is a great program. So is this the time for a parent to tell me that they wouldn't have to pay a single penny if I had just applied to a state school? I have always been against going to the easy cheesy state schools where I live (Mississippi/Alabama)....but there's this one girl who got a 36 ACT that chose Univ. of South Alabama and is going there for med school also. I do not want to go there!!! Or anywhere like there!!! I want to go where there are more people like me, where I'll actually enjoy it! But now my dad keeps alluding to her and how she's not making her parents spend any money. I am convinced that a school like that means years and years of torture (at least for me). Going to a good school is more important than hoarding your money, right? Am I right in not settling for the first cheap school I could find, or is it really not my decision to make in the first place?!</p>
<p>Hey, you must live near me, because Mississippi/Alabama are the state schools most of the kids at my school choose from (along with Auburn and UAB etc...). I am (or will be next year) in almost the same position as you are. I just don't want to go to U of A, which is where both my parents graduated from... and because of my scores I would basically be able to get a full ride + laptop + $1500 a year. Not shabby, you know? But like you, I would much rather go somewhere where I'm surrounded by top notch kids. I know I'd thrive in a situation like that. (Rice University is my top choice, by the way.) So I completely understand where you are coming from.</p>
<p>So basically the way I'm starting to feel about all this, because my family simply cannot put much money towards college for me, is that I need to do everything I can to help out financially and I have to realize that there will be a point where we won't be able to handle it. I've already told my parents that I'm willing to put in a student loan / work / etc... I'm still planning on keeping Alabama around as a safety though, because you never know what can happen.</p>
<p>If your dad is just alluding to this other girl to make you feel guilty though, and your family can handle the tuition but your dad isn't too happy with having to pay another bill, then that's pretty much just something you have to work out between you and your dad. I think a big part of this is your decision, but you also have to consider your family's situation.</p>
<p>It's just so frustrating that they never let me know what their situation REALLY is (and now it's kinda late!)....some days they say that don't WANT to pay, some days they say they SHOULDN'T HAVE to pay, some days they say they can't. Well, it's not really "they," just my dad. Most of the confusingness comes from my mom, cause she's said from the beginning that I'll go to the best I get into, even though we don't qualify for aid so that means 45,000/yr somewhere. Well, she knows our finances...so what can I say? Even my dad one time said I can go where I want, and they'll pay. It's so nerveracking for him to say one thing and then another....maybe it's a normal college sticker shock thing? I think he knows it's possible to pay, but doesn't like the idea of having to when the parents of this other girl are not spending a single penny.</p>
<p>Plus, just because you CAN pay, does it mean you should? Is a "good" school good enough to throw your hard-earned money away to?</p>
<p>btw, good luck with Rice! I got in there too...it's a nice school!</p>
<p>If the "good" school is someplace you love and you feel like you will do well in then yes, I believe it is worth the money if you can pay it. If you don't like the state schools and feel like you won't be challenged or in the kind of environment you want to be in then by all means, you should go for the "good" school. Plus, an undergraduate degree from a good school has the potential to get you a lot farther than a degree from alabama or somewhere like that. It depends on where you want to go in life, if/where you want to go to grad school, etc...</p>
<p>I'm sorry about this situation with your parents though. I understand how incredibly frustrating it is! I think sticker shock is probably a big part of it. 45,000 a year is a lot for anyone. Are you an only child or do you have younger siblings? That makes a difference sometimes. I'm the oldest of four girls, so that's a big factor in our decision.</p>
<p>Good luck though. I hope it all works out well for you.</p>
<p>As a parent can I just add a few comments? We all want what is best for our children. We would love to send you to the school of your choice...but please remember that although your EFC says you can afford 45,000 a year , actually paying it is another story. As we are aging and pensions and social security are not reliable, we are stressed about how to manage our retirements. We don't want to begrudge you a top notch education , but we don't want to eat cat-food later either LOL That may be why you are getting mixed messages from them.
I think that sometimes students just don't have a grasp of how much money they are actually talking about. It takes years and years for most people to be able to save that amount of money and to spend it all up in 4 years is painful. Then consider if there are siblings to follow shortly thereafter.<br>
Do you think that if you were in an Honor's Program at a less expensive school you could be surrounded by other bright students? You could also get a lot of special percs as one of the top students.
Please don't think that your parents are being selfish - try to see their point as well.</p>
<p>whenitwillbeover, Since you got a full tuition scholarship at Brandeis, is it possible that your father is worried about issues other than money, but rationalizing his concerns by focusing on the room and board, and transportation costs? Perhaps your parents do not want you to move so far from home.</p>
<p>Full tuition at Brandeis sounds like a good deal to me. Tell your father your hard work has already saved him over $100,000 at Brandeis. Also tell him you'll pay him back for any money he does spend if he wants. Also tell him Brandeis is more diverse than it used to be. Also tell him that the better education you get, the more money you'll probably make, and the more money you make, the better you'll be able to take care of him when he's old and sick.</p>
<ul>
<li>I have a younger brother.<br></li>
<li>All my choices are schools that I'll be perfectly happy with (from full tuition at Brandeis to getting no money at Brown)</li>
<li>I was all for Brandeis because I want to save my parents as much money as I can, while still going to a great school. But now Brown PLME is causing a conflict. Some people say that PLME (means Brown undergrad/Brown med school) is something I can't turn down since it means I won't have to worry about applying to med school later on. No MCATs, no flying everywhere for interviews...that's a big deal. And you can get a residency anywhere from Brown. But it's sooooooooo expensive. Some days my parents are all for it, some days not.</li>
<li>When I told my mom I wanted to go to Brandeis, her response was pretty much a flat-out no! "You're going to Brown..."</li>
</ul>
<p>northeastmom--you bring up a VERY interesting point. just yesterday, for the first time, he said, "Brown is fine...it's just that you will be so far away from home." So maybe that's why he's still talking about "close" schools rather than Brandeis. It must be that, because otherwise there would be no reason to bring up South Alabama, when Brandeis is so cheap now. I also think they don't see the point of Brandeis, since they never heard of it before and therefore does not register in their minds as "good." They think I'd be going all the way to Massachusetts for a no-name school. In any case, it's not fair to restrict myself to schools in the area just because we live here...in my opinion, this is one of the worst areas to live, with no colleges that suit me, and I'm trying to get away!</p>
<p>PA mom--thanks for your perspective! I don't think in any way that my parents are being selfish...the money involved here is a lot, that's why I've been set on merit scholarships from the beginning (only Brown PLME is creating a conflict with that). As far as honors programs...my full tuition scholar status at Brandeis includes some perks so I think that's comparable...plus there's a good Indian population at the school, something that state schools down here don't have.</p>
<p>I hope that my thoughts have helped in some way. Also, believe me, in the NE, Brandies is not a "no name" school. It is an excellent school, and many students would love to have that free tuition. Perhaps Brown would be too uncomfortable to do financially, so I think that that you should talk about that with your parents. IMO, the deal at Brandies, if Brown is a financial stretch, is too good to pass up. Both of these options are wonderful for different reasons.</p>
<p>Be careful with the combined medical programs. Many kids (including myself) discover in college that they really don't want medicine. If you accept PLME, are you stuck if you change your mind, or can you just transfer to another area of Brown?</p>
<p>There's no "of course" about it. Some programs are set up so that you can't transfer out (at least they were when I went to school - you know, in the year of the dinosaur).</p>
<p>I'm a high school student also interested in pre-med I am no where near your level in stats or anything, but I just want to tell you -</p>
<p>IF YOU TURN DOWN IVY LEAGUE/IVY LEAGUE MED SCHOOL</p>
<p>just for some brownie points - </p>
<p>your absolutely nuts. There are people with stats probably slightly worse than yours who were denied who would give their left arm up to be a part of a great program like this. </p>
<p>you stand a chance at unbelievable education/residencies/medical school ahead of you - </p>
<p>GO TO BROWN
GO TO BROWN
GO TO BROWN
GO TO BROWN</p>
<p>chedva-with PLME, nothing is binding (except that you're guaranteed acceptance to their med school if you still want it, and meet gpa requirement of 3.0. i believe you don't have to take MCAT either) It's also integrated, so you could take med school classes during undergraduate years...and you are exposed to training for medicine from day one of undergraduate (so you have a better chance of seeing what it's like and deciding if medicine is really what you want, also to give you longer training)</p>
<p>northeastmom--thanks for your input. I have asked them if being far away is something that really bothers them and they seemed to agree, haha. two years ago, I even gave up a nice boarding school in MS for that same reason. But I think now I'm old enough to handle college and being away (and I think they'll learn to handle it too). Brandeis is a REALLY good deal...it's just hard to convince my parents. Plus, I can't be sure that Brown is really a financial stress. They told me that the yearly total cost (i don't qualify for aid) is half of what they are able to put away in savings every year. That's a lot...no wonder it's painful to think about. But is that a stretch? I don't know much about money since I've never really earned any, so I can't say. </p>
<p>So if it's financially stressful: go with Brandeis. If not, go with Brown? That's a lot of money to give to a college every year, but isn't it worth it in the long run? It's important to think of it as an investment, right? An ivy league degree and the experience that comes from it is extremely valuable, right? I'm worried that in the end, if that South Alabama girl turns out just as successful, they'll point to me and ask why I asked them to spend so much.</p>
<p>In reference to Mike99, I think I have to choose what I have earned. Ivy league, or money that my parents won't have to spend.</p>
<p>Look at it this way. better education+better residencies = more money when your a doctor. </p>
<p>You're simply nuts if you think graduates from Brown medical School and let's say SUNY Stonybrook, have some potentials( $$$, residencies, where to work, etc.)</p>
<p>So are you saying that they are uncomfortable with your distance from home? If that is the case, is the $ less of a problem and more of an excuse to keep you close to home? If money is a problem, Brandeis is a compromise, b/c Brown without money would be huge sacrifice for most families. As I understand you, your parents are telling you that they put into savings annually, twice as much as the entire Brown bill would be. If this is accurate, and there are no other serious family issues that the money needs to be used for, I would be tempted to go to Brown. I also would want to go with my family's blessing. I do think that is a shame not to take advantage of one of these offers, unless you felt that you would succeed better near home. I also think that it is a shame that your parents are making you feel guilty for taking advantage of these amazing opportunities. I do think that you could end up gettting into a good medical school staying close to home too, b/c nobody can take your intelligence and drive away, regardless of where you go to school. I think that is the point that your father is making, and I think that this is true too.</p>