Please score my essay!!

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>I'm doing the SAT this SATurday (see what I did there!). I haven't practiced the essay at all until like 5 minutes ago. Can you please score it for me? It would really help me. Thanks!</p>

<p>Errors I noticed while typing are noted between [ ]. 25 minutes is not enough time for me :(</p>

<p>Prompt: Do changes that make our life easier not necessarily make them better? Plan and write blah blah blah.</p>

<p>Essay:</p>

<p>Changes that make our lives easier necessarily make them better. When changes make activities easier for us, they consecuentially improve our lives, by allowing us to spend that energy or time in another activities. We can draw examples that support this from our daily lives.</p>

<p>The invention of the bycicle [I got bicycle wrong :'(] facilitated travel, and gave us a new way of exercising. This benefited our lives greatly, by allowing quicker travel, economizing our time. It also brought with it various benefits indirectly, like cycling as a sport or BMX.</p>

<p>Another change in society brought by technology [<- not what I'm discussing] is video gaming. This new way of entertainment has made our search for fun easier, by bringing a new way of playing directly to our homes. Although video games have brought with them some cases of severe addiction, this is true for several other activities, and one must always moderate their actions in every sense. [Was I off-topic?] Therefore, video games have facilitated and improved our lives.</p>

<p>A third possibility to adress [Yeah, HORRIBLE spelling] is YouTube. As part of the Web 2.0 revolution, YouTube integrates the user as an author of the media. This is a big change for communication, since it makes expressing to a big number of people very easy. This clearly improves our lives by allowing us to know another [know another people's?] opinions, cultures or activities, almost first hand, and not from big corporations but from regular people.</p>

<p>After a careful analysis of the invention of the bycicle, video games and YouTube, it is safe to say that what makes our lives easier and simpler, makes them better. As [non-existent] Chilean philosopher Juan Mart</p>

2

<p>first off, im in no way an expert so dont take the following so heavily:</p>

<p>-i would give it about a 7
-your arguments and “proof” were relativly weak. i would have went qwith something like transportation via automobile or something like that and how its made our lives easier and better b/c now we could get places faster and be more efficeint blah bllah. </p>

<p>-spellin on the essay alot of typos WILL hurt you.
-you didn’t have any examples from lit. or history…</p>

<h2>-your thesis doesn’t corrolate with ur body arguments. ur thesis is : easier=more times for other things=good. ur body pragrpahs were things like easier=also, btw, improves our lives by knowing other cultures (utube)= better. </h2>

<p>good luck on the sat</p>

3

<p>But I don’t NEED literature examples right? I mean, I wouldn’t really take them as valid in a discussion of any kind. But yeah, my arguments are also kind of abstract… I don’t deal well with having so little time.</p>