Plz give feedback on essay, will do the same.

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
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<p>We live in an era of individualism. The individual is celebrated and praised in every way—for being special and creative, for making an original contribution, for competing with others to be the best. Nowadays individualism is a guiding idea for many people and has many benefits. But focusing on individuals has caused us to neglect our sense of community, our feeling that we are part of a harmonious group. The importance of belonging to a community has been forgotten.</p>

<p>Has the emphasis on individualism in our society caused people to forget the importance of belonging to a community?</p>

<p>For generations, the value of the individual has been stressed in America. Although some people uphold the idea that community needs to play a bigger orle, those people are too parochial in their thinking. Several examples from history, literature, and a personal anecedote clearly demonstrate the importance of the individual.
Wehn the Founding Fathers layed out the constitution of the US, they had a particular vision in mind, one of freedom, prosperity, and the pursuit of happiness. This ideology eventually evolutionized into what wwe call the American Dream: having a good job, wealth and prosperity. In all of this, the individual is underscored; nowhere is the community mentioned. One of the most important values in the US is freedom; be that freedom of speech, press, religion, or freedom to be you. Hence, people should not be confined as part of a community, instead they should be celebrated for their uniqueness.
In the novel 1984 by George Orwell, Winston Smith lives in a society where the community is valued over the individual. The result, a fettered society where people are not even allowed to think on their won, and are under survellence 24/7. Winston does not agree with this ideology and decides to pursue individualsim instead of following the role of "Big Brother". Thus, people are not meant ot be restricted to a community and it is instrumental that we are all different because is classless society where everyone is integrated into one fabric is detrimental.
I was born in India, but I came to the US at a young age and was raised here. Firsthand, I know what it is like to reject the community. My parents always guided me to be a part of my cultural and religious community, but I refused. Individualism and independence go hand in hand, and mankind cannot expect to progress if we stick together. Being original, or creative brigns about change in society, and the saying "Times change" means that people must also change. Therefore, a community means that we are holding on to one another, and unless we let go, we cannot progress.
Instead of identifying ourselves with a group, identifying ourselves with our uniqueness yields a more productive society, and although "belonging to a community has been forgotten" it is no longer necessary to thrive.</p>

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<p>Hey familyguy6, great essay! This prompt would have stumped me for sure. I would say that this essay would earn you nothing less than a 9 (if one of the graders was in an awful mood or something…but you’re probably guaranteed a 10-12), most likely something like a 10 but maybe an 11-12 depending on how the graders perceive it. Personally I would give it a 5/6 because while you use clear and concise examples, your ideas could be developed a bit more and there are a few spelling/grammar errors, but still nice job.</p>

<p>Here’s mine that I wrote yesterday on a practice test, it’d be awesome if you could provide feedback!</p>

<p>Prompt: Is it important to question the ideas and decisions of people in positions of authority? (I was planning on using 1984 for this essay as well but I forgot some key details so ended up throwing a Dr. Seuss example in there instead…lulz)</p>

<p>The presupposition that it is important to question the ideas of authority figures is a categorical truth. Although some naive critics would argue that figures with power should be left to make their own decisions, they are too dogmatic in their provincial ideology. Three classic archetypes that exemplify the benefits of questioning the beliefs of powerful figures are Shakespeare’s “Hamlet”, the British colonization of the New World, and Dr. Seuss’ “Yertle the Turtle”.</p>

<p>Set in the 14th century Danish kingdom of Elsinore, Shakespeare’s famous play “Hamlet” illustrates how powerful figures can be corrupt. For the duration of the play, Hamlet plans a series of attacks on his uncle, King Claudius. Although Claudius is generally believed to be a good king by the masses, Hamlet questions Claudius’ moral character. When it is revealed that Claudius is, in fact, a murderer, it is a result of Hamlet’s skepticism. As you can see, Hamlet’s persistence in proving his uncle’s guilt irrefutably substantiates the claim that authority figures should always be questioned.</p>

<p>Another paradigm that clearly displays the need for leaders to be questioned is the British colonization of the New World during the late 17th century. After establishing successful colonies in Jamestown and Plymouth, the British begin using a policy of “salutary neglect” on the colonists; as a result, the colonies are allowed to grow and develop as they please so long as they meet the religious and political demands of the mother country. The colonists’ eventual decision to question the regulations imposed on them by their British leaders ultimately caused the American Revolution, and America as we know it would likely not exist had the colonists submitted to British authority.</p>

<p>Yet another example of how powerful figures need to be questioned is Dr. Seuss’ popular children’s story “Yertle the Turtle”. This seemingly jejune tale tells of King Yertle the Turtle, who wishes to expand his reign by creating a gargantuan throne out of living turtles. It is not until one of these turtles named Mack questions his authority that he is removed from his position of power. If not for Mack’s skepticism, Yertle would have continued to dictate a pond full of innocent turtles with an iron fist. </p>

<p>In summation, the notion that powerful figures should be left unquestioned is a fallacy that can lead to dictatorship. It is only by questioning such leaders that the members of any society can achieve equality.</p>

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<p>This is really not my best work, and the examples are pretty subpar, but I’d still appreciate it if you would grade it. Kicking myself for not using something like the Civil Rights movement.</p>

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<p>You could work on providing more analysis in each paragraph; they seem a bit short and on the SAT you want to write as much as you can. In addition, the conclusion could use a bit more analysis. You don’t want to keep repeating yourself. But overall, it was a pretty good essay, I would say a 5/6.</p>