I have “lurked” on this website ever since first deciding to apply to boarding school in the early spring of 2014. It is and has been a great resource for tips on the process, but has also been an unessesary source of some stress and confusion, largely due to conflicting, misinformed perspectives and “chances” threads which only serve to boost or demean confidence, not application strength.
In the past year, I have worked hard not only on applications but on school, sports, and my other extracurriculars. I have also worked hard at maintaining good bonds with my family and friends, while also making new friends, as I believe that meeting new people is one of the cornerstones of my happiness. This played a role in my interest in boarding school.
However, I have noticed several people posting very frequently on this website, while simotenously applying to highly selective prep schools and hoping to be accepted to said schools.
Today, as admission decisions were reached, I noticed a trend within those accepted and those not. Though seeming to be brilliant and capable students, the people who spend the most time on here seem to not have been the most successful, and others have been more successful with much less focus on the boarding school process, at least on an online forum.
Ultimately, I just want to let everyone know 3 things. I don’t know if my post has made too much sense but if you can understand these points, I will be pleased and my point will have been accurately conveyed.
Do not create a hobby out of an online forum that offers semi-arbitrary advice and can ultimately waste time. College confidential is an amazing source of information and tips, but spending too much time on here will only impede success by distracting from friends, family, school, sleep, sports, love, reading, music, community service, and all of life as a whole. I don't want to see beautiful minds wasted by computer screens and unessesary stress.
I paid little attention to the tiny details of my applications, and did not worry about my "chances" often. This paid off, as I directed my focus to overall enjoying life in so many ways, which not only led to me being accepted to 2 of the top schools in the nation (waitlisted to two other top schools, applying as a 10th grader), but has led to new happiness and passion which I am so grateful for. Focus on life as a whole; do not focus on little stressors.
All of you are amazing, wonderful, SMART people. Don't let today's results lower your self esteem. Milk these valuable experiences for all they're worth, and use them to help you later on.
All in all, I hope that each of you can learn to enjoy life to the fullest. Don’t hide behind a computer screen and worry. Step outside and learn and grow and meet new people. Success and confidence will follow. All of you have the ability to go so so far in life.
Have been biting my tongue . . . but your post merits a reply, @ijustwannarun.
You need to understand that the overwhelming majority of students who post in this forum are doing all the same things you are - working on school, sports & extracurriculars, and spending time with family and friends. And their boarding school applications are likely just as strong as yours. That they’re able to spend this much time on CC is a reflection more of superhuman powers (and ability to survive without sleep!) than of a lackadaisical attitude towards the other important parts of their lives.
Unfortunately, being a great kid isn’t always enough to gain one admission to boarding school. It certainly helps, but other factors are equally, if not more, important. And number one on that list is the ability to pay for boarding school. I have seen amazingly gifted kids turned away year after year after year . . . because, on their applications, they put a little check mark next to that box that asks if they’ll be needing financial aid.
Of course, financial need doesn’t bar the door for every applicant . . . but for all too many, it’s the difference between getting in and not getting in. The schools would love to have the resources to take every qualified student who applies, but they just don’t. So some wonderful kids got turned away again this year . . . and not because of anything they did or didn’t do in preparing their applications.
Luckily, many of those same kids will find that college admissions, when compared to boarding school admissions, is more of a meritocracy. The students who worked their tails off to get into boarding school, without success, will find success when they apply to college, and will likely have more opportunities than they can even dream of right now.
I’m sure I’m one of the kids you’re talking about.
I’ve made friends through CC. I’ve gotten advice, not just about prep school, but about life. I’ve become close to students and parents alike. Heck, a poster reached out to me with a great opportunity yesterday.
If you think CC is a waste of time, that’s okay. Yes, it’s a distraction, but over these past couple years, I’ve met a new family.
I think we all have ways of frivelling away time. When I’m not on CC, I’m fond of playing solitaire, which has definitely not supported me when I’ve been down. Despite all the distractions, somehow the meals get made, the essays corrected, eye or virtual contact made with the immediate family members, the laundry done (okay maybe not the laundry). I think we should leave one another to fritter our time as we wish. Hmmm…now: another game of solitaire or check the parent board one more time for my @Choatiemom fix?
I respond to texts and calls when I’m running in LAX… Emails at lunch, I’m waiting for my scene to render and for my c# to stop being so slow and run, I have nothing to do but wait for that! I multi task a lot!
When I’m on CC it’s not like that’s the only thing I’m doing… It relieves stress for me and connects me with some of the most amazing people all while I’m working! Trust me… sometimes you need a cheering up after you have no idea what happened to your code. My goal is to make myself look as simple and carefree as possible.
We all have what we like… although I can see where you are coming from, I am looking at different numbers from a different perspective. If you got to know a lot of the people on CC, you would learn that they are mad busy but just can type quickly to get their point across :). Oh-- it just finished rendering!
@skieurope, Perfect emoji for my day…I made decaf by mistake this morning. And to remain on topic, I agree with everything. Engage with life as much as you can (or as much as you can tolerate!) and fritter away your time when you need to. I would certainly be more productive and read more and maybe even get MY laundry done if it weren’t for all the distracting time wasters I love (like CC), but idiotic computer games and CC obsessions sometimes help me stay sane. Relatively sane. Sane enough to avoid detection.
I find it ridiculous to imply that spending what little free time that people have on cc is the cause of what got these deserving people rejected from boarding school.
Rather it very much has to do with checking the fatal box of Financial Aid (as someone said Kiss of Death) and other factors out of their control: being from an overrepresented state, playing wrong sports/instruments of the day, or being an ORM (over represented minority.)
About my laundry…
…awe…folks I think this post was meant in the best sense… just to come up for air and let your life feed you.
" All of you are amazing, wonderful, SMART people. Don’t let today’s results lower your self esteem. Milk these valuable experiences for all they’re worth, and use them to help you later on."
I agree jdewey that the OP had good intentions–but IF the OP is full pay (we don’t know one way or the other), giving advice to FA applicants, then 1 and 2 miss tjhe cruise ship for the dinghy, and 3–well, no one who has just been rejected wants to hear from someone who has just been admitted to two “top” schools that he/she should “milk these valuable experiences for all their worth.” As I get older, it becomes clearly to me how profoundly hurtful and incorrect my best intended advice often is. And now I will stop before I give some.
I really like what you’re saying and you bring up an amazing point! That tone is lost on these anonymous forums. We speculate and it’s easy to harm. It’s a minefield :-& full of kids who probably could use some adult support. So how do we do this?
The OP has me concerned that, as a moderator, I have a snowball’s chance in HADES of being accepted by the college of my choice. Perhaps I should post a “Chance Me” thread to reassure myself.
I feel like I have been a pretty loud (and often present) voice this cycle offering realistic, and often unappreciated advice to posters here who to me seem crazily over ambitious in their list of schools they are applying to. I totally agree and understand the FA issue but that is not the only issue at play with a lot of these kids, with many it is, but also with many of them if they had applied to a broader range of schools the results would have been happier regardless of how much time they spend on CC. In answer to the question of how to help these kids. I have gotten many PMs this season from some of these kids who are really looking for an adult to offer advice, with wording an email, whether or not to contact a school etc etc. They are uniformly sincere and appreciative and the right school would be lucky to have them. My kid isn’t here posting all the time but he has parents who are able to help him through the process, I think a lot of people here need this support.
Second post in 24 hours after years of lurking… because I feel so strongly that too many kids are not getting (or heeding) realistic and helpful advice. FA is certainly a factor, but far from the only factor, and in many cases not a factor at all. My child (94% SSAT, mostly A-s at a well-respected local private, dedicated but not stellar athlete, and FP, repeat, FP) was WL at all three top schools (not A/E) to which he applied. He is clearly qualified, but like many kids, there is no particular reason why he would be chosen over the many kids with similar profiles, other than he’s a really nice kid. Fortunately, he also applied to five gems, was accepted at all of them, and is receiving a stream of texts and calls telling him how perfect he is for XXX school. This outreach has significantly assuaged the WL hurt.
Two take home points: 1) do not assume that if you are FP, none of @LifeLongNY’s or @SevenDad’s sage advice applies to you, and 2) many of you applicants who were WL’d or rejected at acronym schools would be tremendously sought after by the “next” tier, where you will get a great education and experience–and depending on your personality, perhaps even be happier. It’s far better to feel loved than waitlisted!
Good luck to all, and I hope that next year’s applicants appreciate the great advice they are getting from some of these dedicated posters.
