Trying to gauge how much more of a challenge it would be for DS with ADHD and organizational issues to be enrolled in a larger state school (like Purdue et al) vs a smaller
private college (like RPI et al).
I have little experience with larger public schools.
My D is a junior at Purdue. D has been very surprised at how small it actually feels. Living learning communities are a great way for a big schools to feel more intimate. There are only 180 students in her major in her class year, she knows all her profs, etc… I was really nervous for her going to such a big school and it’s been nothing but wonderful.
Hopefully someone with experience with a student with ADHD will chime in about specific challenges but I wanted to address the small/big thing.
My ADHD son went to a tiny school – Oxford College of Emory University. Worked for him, and after 2 years he was ready to navigate the larger Emory campus (but couldn’t as COVID hit). I know my son would have trouble navigating bureaucracy etc, so we focused on smaller schools for him. (All the other schools he applied to were LACs with less than 2000 students).
U of Arizona has a great specialized program for kids with learning differences that might be worth looking at:
https://www.salt.arizona.edu/
DS doesn’t have “differences” per se, academically (with us on his case) he is quite successful. But when he is away in school, it’ll be a lot more of a challenge “to be on top of him” …
We went medium. S19 is on the spectrum and is at public university receiving accommodations for ASD and Ulcerative Colitis. It has worked for him. We provided lots of Dr./psychologist documentation early to the school that he chose-which lucky for us was around November of senior year. He was able to get a private room and extended time on tests. He did not use the extended time, but it is there if needed. It was difficult to know how helpful the school would be prior to attending imo. If your child is willing to copy you in on emails with housing/disability offices, it is helpful so that you remain in the loop. I took the lead prior to Freshman year and Freshman year. S19 was able to keep the lines of communication open with me and the housing/disabilities office knew who I was and able to provide some information but always preferring S19 learn to advocate for himself which has been improving. He is learning from home this year due to Covid 19 concerns, but plans to be back on campus in the fall and we just discussed that he will need to email housing/disability offices.
I’m going to college with my 2e D21 
She is looking at all larger schools, Purdue is one of her top choices, but we’re hopeful that Honors College or LLC will make things more manageable for her.
He needs to get to a point, ideally before college, where he is responsible for himself. You cannot always be there to “be on top of him” so the sooner he learns how to cope with poor executive function, the better.
It took my son all of high school to get there, with executive function tutoring 3x a week in 9th grade (that’s what it took to keep him on track, and how bad he was!). He went to tutoring 2x a week in 10th, 1x in 11th, and no tutoring in 12th. Btw, his grades in college were better than high school. Less busy work/homework to keep track of).
lol sometimes I feel like doing it as well … especially if he gets into our alma mater 
DS is bright, but is like a boy^2 with ADHD … what makes matter worse (potentially) he 's been going to a school that’s not orthodox especially compared to what I remember college being like … DS is planning to study CS/EE and aquiring the organizational skills as well as work habits I fear will be very challenging, as he won’t be able to wing it just on his chops …
CS/EE is going to be academically challenging where ever he goes.
Encourage him to get connected with the academic support/success centers where ever he goes to school. (Maybe something to research for all the schools on his list).
Purdue offers everything from coaching to mentoring to tutors to help rooms for all the freshmen STEM subjects. Plus office hours, TA review sessions, and study groups. Students just need to take advantage of all of the resources.
great to know … it will be definitely one of the choices, but likely we’ll be figuring out Purdue (or a cpl other flagships) vs RPI i.e. larger public vs smaller private …
Fabulous, my D will also (hopefully) be in FYE at Purdue (IE). She’s infamous for high scores on tests (the gifted part of her) and the occasional but guaranteed 50 or less on homework assignments (the inattentive/EFD part of her). Sigh. The giftedness has won out, for now, but college is a whole different story. Sending her off next year while removing most of her safety nets (ME!) is definitely concerning.
Does private versus public per se matter?
Also, some publics are small, and some privates are large.
You are probably right … My prior would be that there is more hand-holding at private universities, i.e. classes less crowded, easier to pick (get into) majors, etc.
That probably depends on the private school’s financial strength and how much it puts its financial resources into those things that you want from it.
CS is a popular major at many colleges, so do not be surprised if classes are larger and/or harder to get into compared to the other subjects at the college.
We are considering schools like:
RPI, WPI, Olin, Stevens vs publics like Purdue, UIUC, VTech, NCSU, UCSD
Would small publics (e.g. SD Mines, NM Tech, CO Mines) and big privates (e.g. USC) be under consideration?
As the parent, have you checked each college’s net price calculator to see if they are affordable? Out-of-state publics are unlikely to give much, or any, need-based financial aid.
Note that Purdue, VT, and NCSU admit to first year engineering, with a secondary admission process to major. UIUC and UCSD mostly admit direct to major; students who enter undeclared may find it very competitive to get into a popular major like CS.
luckily cost isn’t a consideration (and being from New York, most top flagships are oos)
USC is certainly one of the top options, I was merely comparing schools that are in the sweet spot of “expected acceptance”
weird … a friend claimed his DS got into CS directly at Purdue, maybe my info is wrong …
So yeah, that’s another annoyance about flagships - another round of applications just to get into your desired major