<p>My D behaved very much the same way, because when push came to shove, she was ambivalent about leaving home. She wanted to go to college and was good about the whole process of admission, but when it came near time to actually leave home, she really didn’t feel emotionally ready. I did the usually mom things, like get her bedding, but otherwise, she did most of the shopping once she got to school. I don’t think it makes sense to be punitive about the money – give her a budget for her needs and let her spend it on her own time. She may feel more inpsired once she’s there and sees what the other students are up to. I wouldn’t worry too much – she will get swept up in all that needs to get done, including course registration. There’s a lot of discussion amongst the students that’s hard to ignore. Once she’s there and realizes this is the real deal (or college, at least), and that she is on her own, she will probably get with it.</p>
<p>Meanwhile, some gentle prodding is better than nagging. I was kind of a basket case and wanted my D to be super prepared for everything (and yes, I obsessed about the shower caddy, just like that thread in the cafe), but in retrospect, it was absolutely unnecessary. </p>
<p>As for course registration, I reminded my D over and over again that the early bird gets the worm, and told her all the strategies I could remember for getting into over-subscribed classes. She yeah-yeahed me, and none of it took until her sophomore year when she realized the wisdom of my advice – she got shut out of her #1 choice class. Until then, she had never had to advocate for anything. Learning to do that was a major lesson in her first two years.</p>
<p>My daughter is usually very efficient but both last year and this year she puts off the needed college purchases, plans, etc. Last year, when she was entering Freshman, I got her to order many things on-line to be shipped directly to the school. It took less time, could be done at any hour and in her pajamas, offered greater choices, and wasn’t a packing problem.</p>
<p>This year she’s moving into an apartment and her two roommates are not responding to emails/facebook messages. Once again, we looked on-line, found a great bed and dresser from the manufacturer, located a furniture store about 15 miles from the apartment, and they will deliver and assemble it when she is there the first day. She’s set with the basics and whatever the three girls decide on once she’s there is up to them. I’m happy with her having a bed to sleep on, nothing else really matters.</p>
<p>Try to just take care of the basics (the real basics, not your version!) with your daughter and see if on-line ordering helps move her along. I’m assuming she’ll arrive on campus a few days before classes begin so she’ll have plenty of time to shop then.</p>
<p>Thank you all for the good advice and words of support. Mostly I am concerned because Ds procrastination is so out of character. Likely it is due to an ambivalence about leaving home. Maybe it is helping her cope, but I want to minimize the stress that a last minute panic may cause. Meanwhile she is out every night with friends, working her summer job, staying in shape for her sport all good things. She learns her roommate this week, and I am hoping that might get her a little more focused and excited about the to do list. So, I have decided not to worry about the packing, and will just make sure she meets the critical deadlines. I will try not to nag, and to try to keep my own stress to myself, and just vent on CC. Heres hoping I succeed .</p>
<p>“I will try not to nag, and to try to keep my own stress to myself, and just vent on CC” - Sounds like a good plan. I know that CC research and distraction kept me from nagging DS too much during the college app season.</p>
<p>Are you saying you want your daughter to buy her notebooks and pens and things before she gets to school? Or are you thinking, laundry bag, laundry detergent?</p>
<p>I’m trying to actually figure out what would take more than a day or two to pack for school…(this is a genuine question. )</p>
<p>It sounds like your D is having a good time this summer, so I wouldn’t worry too much. If she were depressed or withdrawn AND not interested in getting ready for school, that would be a different story.</p>
<p>poetgrl, I think when we discuss packing, we aren’t just talking about the placing of items into a suitcase, but rather all of the peripheral tasks that are entailed such as taking inventory, cleaning, shopping, and shipping. For example, in my D’s case I include the trying on of clothes to see what still fits and isn’t too old or stained to take along, and then shopping for replacement items. (My D just had an unexpected growth spurt this month and grew a half-inch or more. Also, she gained a few pounds and bulked up a little due to her team-assigned weight-lighting regimen. We did not anticipate having to buy a new wardrobe right now.) In the case of plane travel, decisions have to be made about what will be taken along in luggage (which includes weighing the suitcases and adjusting accordingly to avoid extra fees), what will be shipped by mail, and what will be purchased on site. This could entail a trip to BB&B to do pack-and-hold or internet shopping for large items such as a bike. As for cleaning, my D will have to sort through the major clutter on her bureau to unearth her jewelry, find errant earrings, and place what she is taking into a box for shipping. Also, D knows her calculator is around the house somewhere, but where? So there are definitely straightening up and organizing tasks that must be completed for messy teens in order to actually locate the stuff they are taking. Extremely organized folks might find packing simpler.</p>
<p>MY D has procrastinated all summer and now is leaving this Friday for freshman year. Luckily, she is flying to school and will purchase most items when she arrives. Due to her work schedule this week, she has one day to see two doctors and pack. I suspect, in reality, she will be up late every night this week trying to pair down her clothes to fit in her 2 checked bags. As far as registration goes, her school required the freshman to register at orientation, plus she has been in contact with voice and dance teachers all summer (Musical theatre major) about scheduling classes and lessons. So…I’m beginnning to think that she might become responsible after all!</p>
<p>For us, last year, we just had our daughter ship everything except what she could take in one suitcase and one carry on…the carryon for the computer.</p>
<p>She definitely didn’t have everything she needed, by a long shot. So, she had to figure out a way to “get” it all. </p>
<p>This year, she left everything there except what she could bring home in a suitcase and carryone, so we’ll just put her back on a plane. She found a storage company that came and picked evrything up and will deliver it to her when she arrives.</p>
<p>Good luck to everyone with your organization. Hope you can enjoy the rest of the summer with your kids. :)</p>
<p>I don’t know if this was mentioned, but for packing, the worst that can happen is the bags will not be weighed in time to do anything about it, and you will pay for overweight bags ($$$$), do something about it at the airport ( take some garbage bags with you?), and/or promise to ship the fall-out later…you just have to promise; you don’t have to follow through. Karma.</p>
<p>We moved over the summer so my two had to get their acts in gear somewhat. The college senior left/put most of her stuff in storage before moving. She left for an overseas trip before we got our household stuff and will be home two days before leaving for school. The freshman is going to the same school, so was able to put a lot of her stuff in storage before the move since she went ahead and bought it early. </p>
<p>We also moved right before the senior began college; she didn’t buy anything until the last minute - so it wouldn’t be moved cross country. Her older sister left everything in storage on the opposite coast that year.</p>
<p>We’ll be moving again before the youngest finishes, so I see more storage in the future.</p>
<p>My daughter leaves for college (halfway across the country) in less than 2 weeks. She hasn’t given much serious thought to packing, nor have I. There are many other more pressing things on our ‘to do list’ before we turn our attention to the start of college. I know it will get done.</p>
<p>icedragon, I hear you. For one thing, if D’s university would just stop sending her e-mails with action items to be handled, then maybe she could finally get a start on her packing. They seem to make everything complicated. For example, she has to send the National Merit people a form to fill out, certifying her scholarship was unrelated to athletics. Come on, that organization has been giving out money for years based on PSAT scores and a general application. Surely everyone knows this isn’t some secret booster club? And the poor kid can’t simply sign up for the freshmen welcome dinner and send a check. No, she has to fill out the accompanying 20 question survey asking her about her favorite M&M’s and biggest fear in life.</p>
<p>I know the feeling, trust me. My school has been doing that as of late especially now that they have decided not only to change how you schedule your classes system but also the whole loan and finacial aid system. Bah, if it ain’t broke don’t fix it…</p>
<p>My college bound daughter has been unreachable in Sweden on an organic farm for almost 2 MONTHS (her choice )and has recently sent a couple of e-mails that she is homesick,worried about getting ready for Harvard with about 1 week till dorm crew .She hasn’t done anything for college ,and I know she will be stressed ,but I have never been a “hillicopter parent”,and I’m not starting now.I know she has the basics ,and we can bring more stuff on parent’s weekend.This is my fourth child off to college ,they all procrastinated but they learned such a valuable lesson ,and the 3 boys are doing fine.</p>
<p>Little over 36 hours until D leaves for college and no discernible packing has taken place. She did go to 2 dr. appts this morning and is having lunch (and saying goodbye) to Dad today. I did see that the laundry fairies did her laundry last night, but it is still in piles in the living room. And she works 8am-6pm on Thursday. This is going to be interesting! I am trying not to be a nag or do it for her - but it drives me crazy!</p>
<p>How is it that we teach and model one type of behavior explaining and showing by example the benefits of it yet our children choose to do the opposite? Is the teen brain?</p>
<p>We leave for move-in with S2 next Wednesday…5 days. He just started communicating with roommates. Yesterday he finally went out to look at TVs, since it looks like that will be his contribution; came home with the new Madden video game. Yeah, that’ll do.</p>
<p>I did my part earlier in the summer: bedding, towels, first aid stuff and clothing detergent. That may be all he arrives at school with. Packing? Maybe Tuesday night.</p>
<p>Same stress at our house…our N has not done a thing, handed him a list of things he has to do before leaving next Thursday. Has been out visiting friends constantly and has been very disrespectful regarding his attitude and responsibilities. Even though it has been very frustrating we have let go and let him manage the situation. So unless he kicks it into gear I guess he will be leaving with a back pack, some clothes, and his computer.</p>