<p>How do I politely ask my college interviewers, "How should I address you?" (Mr, Ms...etc. or by first name?) Parents, please help? :-)</p>
<p>Don’t ask them - they will let you know.</p>
<p>If you have the name ahead of time and the person does not introduce herself, you start by saying something like “It’s so nice to meet you Ms. So-and-so.”</p>
<p>If the person does introduce herself and says “I’m Shirley So-and-so”, you make the same response: “It’s so nice to meet you Ms. So-and-so.”</p>
<p>Ms. So-and-so may then say “Oh, please, call me Shirley,” at which point you may do so.</p>
<p>If the person just introduces herself as Shirley, you may refer to her as Shirley (unless, as noted above, you had her full name ahead of time).</p>
<p>Please do NOT address an older person by their first name, unless you have been given some indication they want you to, preferably by them personally. Once they indicate they prefer the first name, by all means use the first name.</p>
<p>I DETEST being called by my first name by strangers, particularly those a generation younger. So, err on the side of caution.</p>
<p>I suspect that you have a part-time job, or you wouldn’t be asking this question.</p>
<p>Young people who work realize that it is the custom at most jobs for everyone to address each other by their first names. On the other hand, the custom at high schools is for students to address staff members as Mr. or Ms. You sound like you’re caught between the two worlds.</p>
<p>I think you should go with the school custom in this case. The interviewer won’t think it’s weird if you address him or her as Mr. or Ms. (although you may immediately be asked to use the person’s first name, especially if the interviewer is young).</p>
<p>I’ve always heard just what post 2 told you.
A person should always be called by their title, unless they direct you to call them by something else.
Don’t say “Hiya Peg!” to Dr. Margaret Smith, unless she has directed you to call her Peg.
If she introduces herself only as Peg, then go ahead. This holds true even if the title is Mr. or Ms.</p>
<p>My experience is that more formal than expected rarely offends; but that isn’t true of the opposite.</p>
<p>It’s interesting - it depends on context. If I were an interviewer, it would feel stilted to me to introduce myself to an 18 yo candidate as Ms. Smith or Ms. Mary Smith. I would likely introduce myself as Mary Smith and expect / anticipate to be called Mary – just as if we were coworkers in the workplace. OTOH, with my kids’ friends, I’ve tended to retain that formality (even though I’m personally fine with being called my first name). I wonder why the distinction in my own head. Hmmm.</p>
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<p>I think it’s one of those holdovers from what we were raised with. I feel the same way.
I was surprised at how presumptuous it seemed for my daughter’s bf to call me by my first name from the get-go. I didn’t actually mind, but it seemed that it was taken for granted, and felt weird. I don’t hold it against him, however, as these kids are used to calling their profs by their first names, and their bosses. I think it must have seemed stilted and formal to him to call me Mrs., and he didn’t mean any disrespect. It takes some getting used to, though, as all my kids’ friends call me Mrs. even though we’ve known each other for years.</p>
<p>I was raised to call people sir or ma’am, then formal title, then first name. So that’s what I go with. But generally, you can never be too respectful!</p>
<p>Just call them what they introduce themselves as.</p>
<p>@moonchild: I think kids today have obstacles we didn’t when it comes to parental names. Lots of kids don’t have the same last name as at least one of their parents, which means using “Mr.” or “Mrs.” with your friend’s last name might be completely incorrect. The second problem is that lots of mothers are unmarried, which is confusing title-wise. I get called “Mrs.” all the time, and it bugs me. I gently correct people, but some people never get it.</p>
<p>I think it would be better to use the title and last name. The interviewer can then say, “Call me (first name)”, if he or she chooses. If the interviewer were to be offended by being called by his or her first name, there is no good way for them to say, “Call me Mr./Ms”. </p>
<p>The interviewer is in a position of authority, and some deference/politeness would be appropriate.</p>
<p>I believe that there are regional differences to consider as well. </p>
<p>I am 49 years old, and I live in the south, which may be more formal than some areas of the country. I call my friends’ parents (and my parents’ friends) by their titles and their last names; I wouldn’t think of calling them by their first names unless invited to do so, and few people invite me to do so. </p>
<p>I can think of no adults in the lives of my teenage children who they call by their first names except relatives, coaches (“Coach Joe”), and youth group leaders. Once in a while there is an adult who works with children who requests to be called by a title and her first name (“Miss Sally”–even though she is married), so that’s what the children and I call her.</p>
<p>This is a different situation than that of addressing co-workers, where you would expect to be working closely with someone over a long period of time.</p>
<p>There’s no need to ask, an interviewer will want to make you feel comfortable, and they will introduce themselves and indicate how they wish to be addressed in the interaction, “Hi, welcome to x university, I’m Carla” for example.</p>
<p>True, Got2BeGreen–today is different. I know that my daughter’s bf knew that I was still married and using my married name. He just chose to call me by my first name right away, without my having a chance to introduce myself. Being 60, it stuck me as unusual. My own kids address all their friends’ parents by their title and last names- even those they’ve known for years.
I do think we can’t get too invested worrying about these kinds of faux pas, if indeed they are such, as long as we know there are good intentions all around.</p>
<p>Mr. or Ms. X until they say “Call me Bob (or Diane)” at which point you do that. </p>
<p>Realize though that there will be very little need to address your interviewer by name (until you write your thank you note).</p>
<p>Thank you, everyone! Your replies were tremendously helpful!!</p>