<p>Often in the prep school and college world, one hears the word "fit". "Chose the school where you feel the most 'fit'."
But what exactly should "fit" feel like? This year, I applied to Deerfield, Choare, and Exeter. I was waitlisted at the first two and accepted to the last one. I went to the revisit day a couple weeks ago and enjoyed myself. But "fit" has me questioning about whether to go or not. My idea of "fit" was like, bam you're there and it clicks. For me it was more like YAY...meh. I could see myself growing to like the school, more than I do now. But three of the four classes I attended just didn't feel right. One was physics, which I have no knowledge in so it makes sense, but the other two were English and history, both of which I found almost boring (maybe because I didn't read the material?). Anyhow, I saw the school as somewhere I could grow to like, grow to live at, but not right away.
So this brings me to my question: what "fit" is "fit" enough for a school? Staying home is always an option, I love my home school- the classes and friends, but I know Exeter especially would bring more opportunity in my life.</p>
<p>I also had some trouble deciding where i would fit more. I suggest you go with your gut instinct. Don’t rely on facts and what other people say. (go with your heart, not your brain - you already used your brain to pick out the best schools)</p>
<p>And don’t stay at home! Definitely go to boarding school =)</p>
<p>I think it depends…what seemed boring to you about history and English? Was it the Harkness method that didn’t click for you? Was it the subject matter? Something else?</p>
<p>If it was subject matter, than yes, it was probably that you were out of the loop. But if it was the style of teaching and learning that you didn’t like, that might signal something more significant. There are lots of different ways to learn–and Harkness is a very specific method that isn’t going to be best for everyone. I wouldn’t go to Exeter just because you think it will give you more “opportunities” (opportunities for what exactly?)</p>
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<p>Nonsense!!! If you’re happy at home, stay there. Exeter is intense and demanding. I suspect you will find the classes more interesting when they’re your classes and you’re one of the kids leading the discussion. But just because you got in doesn’t mean you have to go. Give yourself a pat on the back and say “Thanks, but no thanks!” if you’re not sure it’s the right place for you. Going into a really high pressure school like Exeter with the expectation that you’ll “learn to love it” might not be the best idea. You will make friends, you will find teachers you really like, and there will be a myriad of other things that you will find you like about it . . . but if the whole experience is one of swimming upstream the entire time, I’m still not sure I’d recommend it.</p>
<p>By the way, “fit” doesn’t have to be a magical struck-by-lightning kind of thing. Look at it this way, boarding school is two things: school plus home. If you can picture yourself thriving in your classes there, that’s half of it. The other half is picturing yourself really being “at home” there. If you think that both of these are more likely than not, then give it a try!</p>
<p>Thanks everyone so far! What I didn’t like were a few of the teachers and the fact that in harkness, there’s no sort of “set” agenda. But is that always the case? Everyone just seemed to do as the pleased.
And opportunities, well, like classes I can’t take at home, programs I can’t do here, a lifestyle and social skills learning stuff- that sort of thing.</p>
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<p>Someone can jump in and correct me if I’m mistaken, but I believe it’s the homework assignment that gives each class its context. Since you didn’t get to do the assignment ahead of time, it would be natural that the class you sat in on seemed somewhat disorganized to you.</p>
<p>Well, yeah, I think that the disadvantage of a student-run discussion is that it can seem a bit directionless at times. Some teachers, I gather, are better at gently directing the flow of discussion than others, and students get better at Harkness over time (were you sitting in on prep classes?) But I don’t think you’re ever going to find a set, teacher-directed agenda in a Harkness humanities (or math) classroom–other than discussing whatever the teacher assigned-- some people see this as a plus, but I could see how it would definitely frustrate others. </p>
<p>As far as teachers go–if you don’t click with a teacher for some reason, a nice thing is that you’ll generally have a new one ten weeks later! </p>
<p>One final thought: You were sitting in at the beginning of the term–some of what you were feeling may have been because the classes hadn’t completely gelled yet. The energy in the history and English classes I sat in on in the fall–midway through the term–was palpable and the flow of respectful and thoughtful conversation between the students was just an amazing thing to witness.</p>
<p>Still…go with your gut. If the Harkness method doesn’t feel right for you, you definitely don’t want to be at Exeter.</p>