<p>I was accepted to deerfield, waitlisted at a few schools, and I never finished my exeter application.
I really want to go to b.s. but I feel like I made the wrong choice not applying to exeter; I really feel that I would have been accepted and that its the best fit.
That being said I am making the best of the situation and looking seriously into deerfield.
I really do like deerfield, I just am running into one negative; I'm not from a wealthy new england family.</p>
<p>Does anyone have any experience or knowledge of deerfield? I guess I didnt realize til now how 'preppy' deerfield really is. I'm not a judgemental person, I just want diversity at the school I go to, people from all different backrounds. I didnt have that many worries before but now I am extremely nervous that I'm not going to fit in. .
If I go to deerfield and a few months in decide I really hate it, would the school be cooperative with me applying elsewhere? If i go my plan is to try it out, and if by october I really hate it, apply at exeter and andover. Any insight on my questions would be appreciated, thank you!</p>
<p>First off, it is not safe to assume you would have been accepted to Exeter. No matter how qualified you are, you might well have found yourself one of the very many highly qualified candidates for whom there simply wasn’t enough space this year. Exeter is never a safe bet!</p>
<p>About Deerfield, I can give you my perspective as the parent of a student who applied there. I’ll tell you first that I started out with the same negative impression that you had - all I had read was how “preppy” it was. And then we visited. And I L<em>O</em>V<em>E</em>D it! Honestly, this was the last thing I expected, but our student tour guide was an amazing kid, and he persuaded me that Deerfield was not at all like the stereotypes I had imagined. Yes, there are probably kids at Deerfield who are “preppy” - but they are not the only kids who are students there. You’ll find all types - including some who will probably end up being your friends for life!</p>
<p>Don’t worry about who you’re going to hang out with. Just get involved in the courses and activities that interest you . . . and you’ll find friends soon enough.</p>
<p>You are amazingly lucky to have been offered a place at Deerfield - give it a try. And if you really find after a few months that you are not comfortable there, then you can absolutely look at transferring. But give it a chance. You’ll probably have some doubts at first (I think everybody does!), but I’d guess you’ll soon come to think of it as home.</p>
<p>Thank you, your post has actually really helped a lot. I think I might just be getting nervous about boarding school in general, which I’m sure everyone is. . my parents are going to send in a ‘yes’ decision and the deposit, and then let me continue to think about if it really is what I want to do over the summer (I’ll be going as a repeat year student and so going really affects my academic record in terms of if I really strongly dislike it, I can’t just come back to my current school because I’d be the grade below my friends)</p>
<p>But I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one who got this overly ‘preppy’ vibe, and that your sons tour guide was nice. I have not met one rude person either there, they all are so enthusiastic and nice… I guess it must just be nerves haha. </p>
<p>In a school of 600 kids, you will likely have no trouble finding a group of friends that share interests, style, attitude that make you comfortable. I think the risk is higher at smaller schools because there are just fewer kids. I’d suggest reading the Deerfield thread and reaching out to some of the other kids who are going to be your classmates. You can start with a roster of friends!</p>
<p>You know, one other thing I can add is that I met both a janitor during my visit to Deerfield and, later, a woman who grew up not far from Deerfield and they both said they they found the students at Deerfield to be genuinely nice kids. Either of these two people might have had occasion to be treated badly by Deerfield students who felt they were “superior” to those around them - but neither of them had anything other than good things to say about the Deerfield students. That speaks volumes, I think, about what kind of community Deerfield is.</p>
<p>I hesitate posting this, because it is just a gut feeling. I think DA is a great place and of the highest caliber school for sure, but…the janitor thingabove struck a chord in me.</p>
<p>When we were there for son’s interview summer before last, a day student was the tourguide. Everywhere we went and I mean everywhere, people on campus yelled out to her by name and waved and came over when they saw us. It was the height of summer and there weren’t a lot of kids/families interviewing that day. The janitor made a point to stop her and us and say howdy, struck me as forced and a little too folksy. </p>
<p>Some parents will be critical of me for saying this, but I couldn’t help thinking it was some type of show or performance, that the school was trying too hard to get their message across of “community.” It was kinda like Cheers “where everybody knows your name.”</p>
<p>In my mind, I couldn’t help think, okay there’s some email that went out this morning to all staff that the tour guide’s name is “Mary.” And everyone then knows to yell out, “Hello, Mary.” It was the only school where we encountered this Stepford phenomenon, it was eerie. At other schools, staff and administration and tourguides were indeed friendly to us and each other, but everyone didn’t necessarily know everyone else’s name.</p>
<p>too critical, I know…just thought I would share a gut feeling…I still think academically it’s a great school…can’t go wrong. I thought they were trying just a little too hard. Someone get in there please and let me know if there is a daily email that goes out…just kidding. :)</p>
<p>Well, that kind of says it all, doesn’t it? Given how few people are on campus during the summer, chances are that everyone did know her name!</p>
<p>Probably would not be the case during the fall when (1) there are a lot more people on campus, (2) there are a lot of new students who just don’t know everyone’s names yet, and (3) people are rushing to classes and elsewhere and may often be too busy to stop and say “Hello!”</p>
<p>But please do feel free to hold it against a school that the people you met there were too friendly. </p>
<p>(On second thought, the more negative things you can find to say, the better! I know a lot of people on the Deerfield waitlist who are already mad at me for saying too many nice things about the place . . .)</p>
<p>When I enrolled my D in a local school, what impressed me was the fact that everyone - and I mean everyone - knew every student by name and knew the family members. Weekly celebrations were packed. And although we were criticized for our choice of putting her in the “hood” (the school was 99% free and reduced lunch) we were rewarded with probably the most engaged academic experience in the district. We became part of the fabric. It was expected. And when I had been traveling and therefore not around much, I walked in and was accosted with a friendly “Girl, where have you been?” and a big hug by the janitor.</p>
<p>So why did my daughter choose the Boarding School she chose? Because we got almost the exact same reaction when we did the interview. Like she was already family. A hug from the art teacher meeting her for the first time (my D is not an artist). Teachers who stayed behind to talk to her after the interview. I asked my husband how the school made it on to the list and he said he called each of the ten schools and they was the friendliest - even taking the time to walk him through some of the forms online.</p>
<p>So when we were at the winter parent weekend we weren’t surprised that when signing in everyone knew our daughter. Later there was a raucous discussion with us and a staff member ganging up on my D and her friends about how cold it was and how many girls were going to the prom in bare legs (we lost the argument as had the woman with her own daughter). My D, thinking she was late for the bus to the hotel began running across the commons in her bare feet, high heels in her hand. A security guard yelled “D, put on your shoes right now!” and laughed. My husband yelled “Score” and gave him a high five from afar. </p>
<p>Compare that to my experience at Exeter where midway through a semester a dorm director asked me the name of a girl who walked by and I incredulously pointed out that she was the director’s advisee.</p>
<p>So yeah - I can believe that there are campuses where everyone knows everyone else and it’s part of the culture. I just called SYA and barely got out my last name when the person on the other line said “Oh - your “D’s” mom!”</p>
<p>Funny how it is possible for so many people to settle for less when it comes to their children.</p>
<p>For those parents new to this process - you’re entitled to a more rich experience for your child then just glowing stats and matriculation lists. A lot more.</p>
<p>I guess you have to figure it out for yourselves whether something is fake or genuine. In our experience with DA, in our humble opinion, the super friendliness seemed a bit rehearsed, but the school no doubt is first rate. </p>
<p>I think they pride themselves in their sense of community and when we met with our AO there, he tried to distinguish it from other peer institutions by focusing on community and sit-down dinners. If it was genuine, this is a special place, indeed.</p>
<p>As a parent of a current DA student, we too had the janitor experience as well as something similar with the woman who takes care of all the athletes gear. From our first visit these too people got to know my daughter and her family. We send gifts and cards and feel that they have enhanced my child’s life. For many of the people who work at bs, this is their life and they love it…getting to know the teens and being part of their lives. They love the kids.</p>
<p>My d sticks out for many reasons, from the midwest, avid reader, ballet dancer, biggest boys water polo supports and yeah she is African-American. In the school with DA’s size most kids will stand out in some way. </p>
<p>We feel that DA is a loving, close knit community that we are honored to be part of. </p>
<p>But like I always say, everything is not for everybody. That is why there are so many different types and feels of boarding schools.</p>
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