<p>I've been currently a senior in high school right now and i'm slightly worried about the friends i'll make in college. To explain my situation, I'm an asian guy living a in very white community, like 80% of my school is white. Also, i'm the only asian person who hangs out where i hang out so even though they're my friends, i dont feel to close to them. I'm pretty sure when i go to college, i'll never talk to any of them (except maybe 1 or 2) ever again. Mainly, because they're whtie and i'm asian. For some reason, i just dont feel I can ever become so close to white people because i still feel racism. So my question is, when you guys to college, how many people do you still keep in touch with when you were in high school? Also, i heard in college, its really segragated, like whites hang out with whites, latinos with lations, asians with asians, etc. Is that true or not? I'm hoping to go to ucla or sd or irvine where there are more asians because i feel like i'll be more comfortable in that environment. Anyone give me some answers? Really appreciate it.</p>
<p>you think too much. a rule of thumb is that for every five friends you had in high school, you will remain in contact with one.</p>
<p>Chill out.</p>
<p>What are you talking about?</p>
<p>My friends are predominantly white (except for my best friend, who's from Colombia), and I'm Asian. They're from (and I'm from) predominantly white areas, and I have never felt this secret "racism." Additionally, they all live about twenty minutes to an hour from me so we don't "hang" 24/7, but we're pretty close.</p>
<p>Maybe you're paranoid. The goal should be to feel comfortable with every race.</p>
<p>As for how many I'll keep in touch with, I don't know. At least eight.</p>
<p>But then again, I still talk to my best friends from the fifth grade... despite being on opposite coasts and borders for several years.</p>
<p>I'm Asian, and I grew up in a predominantly white neighborhood so my closest friends aren't Asian. In fact, my two best friends are white...and I don't feel any racial tension or whatever. And I'm still close to them, of course</p>
<p>I go to Cal, where there's a HUGE Asian population, and I definitely feel like there's more racial segregation (whites hang out with whites, Asians hang out with Asians etc) Perhaps you will feel more comfortable at a place with more Asians; I know a lot of Asians who almost have exclusively Asian friends and I guess that's what they like.</p>
<p>You worry about something I worry about, but just weirder.</p>
<p>are you asian, dvlfnfv5?</p>
<p>im asian, my friends are mostly white, and i'm one of the very few asians in fraternities.</p>
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For some reason, i just dont feel I can ever become so close to white people because i still feel racism.
[/quote]
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<p>You feel racism because you are looking for it as indicated by this statement... in psychology we call this phenomenon "projecting" which is when you think something is going on outside of your control, but really all that's happening is you're creating these thoughts and using unverified examples to qualify your own thoughts. Try using a different script or put things into a different context (i.e. next time you feel racism, ask another person in that situation if that's how they saw it--you know, check in, and you may see that it's just you).</p>
<p>It doesn't matter. I'm white and I had a very good friend in high school who was African-American and I remain in close contact with him. I also keep in touch with my two Asian friends.</p>
<p>Just remember you share the same biology as everyone else. Aside from my Chinese friend joking around that he was "Chinese and therefore a communist" we never really brought it up. (This guy joked about it so much he got a little communist flag for his desk...he's not really communist, though)</p>
<p>Yeah, I bet your just paranoid about the entire "racism" thing. I've been told that usually the reason why ppl hang out so seperately in college is because ppl just don't bother to broaden their groups so I suppose if your open to making friends, it shouldn't be a problem.
Than again, I suppose , it is understandable if you do want to have a few friends who share your background because they'll understand certain aspects of you better but all in all, I'm all for just making good friends and not bothering about where their from. That's what the entire college experience should be about, init?</p>
<p>It might also be low self-esteem on his part. Like people say something and you feel like they are saying it at your expense while really they are not. You just perceive it so because you don't like yourself and search for reasons to continue doing so. Or it can simply be just the friends that you have. They feel they can single you out, since you're different, and make subtle racist remarks. In that case just get good friends in college, the ones who will treat you well. And it doesn't matter the race. Asian guys can also single you out based on some other characteristic that is not race-related and then make fun of you. </p>
<p>In college I feel like even though whites tend to mix with whites and asians with asians, there is also a healthy level of intermixing going on. I havent heard any of my white friends say anything racist referring to asians. It is just that asians have more things in common, like theyd take Chinese language classes together or discuss some asian movies or cartoons. So do whites. There is an influx of asian immigrants into US and those guys definitely keep more to themselves. Like a white person will just feel out of place in a group of Chinese students walking around and talking in their own language. But even though separate groups do exist, it is not like one dislikes the other.</p>
<p>Exactly, if they do hang out seperately its because they find more things in common. personally, I have no problem hanging out with anyone but I suppose, it does feel a little nice to hang out with someone who's come from somewhere very similiar to myown back-ground. But I wouldnt want to limit myself to that. then again, some ppl do.</p>
<p>Well, I'm Indian, but I'm friends with people of all races...my HS wasn't diverse at all, but I don't feel any racial tension at all. I'll be fine in college...I think.</p>
<p>we hold regular race wars at my school and everyone is segregated. we also hate the dutch. anyone who is dutch is immediately bludgeoned.</p>
<p>I got a good friend who is asian, and he dislikes hanging out with asians. Reason being they often think he is too "white washed". Hes a good guy, so the better for us to have him as a friend. But this is just one case.</p>
<p>I'm white.. in high school my friends group was really diverse.. pakistany, ukranian, chinese, latino, etc. Out of about 12 girls, only 3 were white. The school was predominatly white so such diverse friends groups were rare just because there were so many white people (I think there were 3 african americans in the entire school just to give you an idea). I don't think there was any racism or racial tension.</p>
<p>Anyway, I came to college and UCDavis is about half white, 30% asian. I didn't seek out white people to befriend, I'm open & will talk to anyone who looks friendly. As it turns out though, most of my friends are white, a few asian. My friend (chinese) from high school became friends with almost entirely asian people here at Davis. My other friend (pakistany) from high school went to UC Irvine became friends with mostly indian & pakistany people & one white girl. I guess it all depends on where your interests are & where you feel comfortable. But I don't think people purposefully seek out people of thier own race, I think it might just happen sometimes not because of underlying racism.</p>
<p>
[quote]
You feel racism because you are looking for it as indicated by this statement... in psychology we call this phenomenon "projecting" which is when you think something is going on outside of your control, but really all that's happening is you're creating these thoughts and using unverified examples to qualify your own thoughts. Try using a different script or put things into a different context (i.e. next time you feel racism, ask another person in that situation if that's how they saw it--you know, check in, and you may see that it's just you).
[/quote]
I guess I didn't make it clear enough. What i meant by "i feel racism" is that i hear them talk about other races behind their backs. For example, at lunch, they saw this black guy reading a book and they were like, "Why is he wasting his time reading when he should be playing basketball or something." Also, in class, we heard this black guy say he got a 2000 on his SAT and my friend was like, "No way he got a 2000, maybe 2000 combined with SAT 2's or something." That's what i meant by i feel racism. I don't like to think like that and I see every race as equal and i also don't believe in racial stereotypes.</p>
<p>Also, I saw the movie Crash a couple of days ago, I guess that's what changed my views in a way to create this thread....</p>
<p>It's possible for some people to be racist against some groups but not others. Do they hate Asians? It's also possible for people to make racist jokes, even though they're very mean. A lot of comedians are successful because of this. If you're offended, make some new friends. Maybe you just need to lighten up?</p>
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For some reason, i just dont feel I can ever become so close to white people because i still feel racism.
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<p>Not all white people are racist, just as not all asian people aren't racist. Just the other day two filipino guys in the dealership I work in made a joke about how "BMW is the Black Man's Wish." I was appauled by that, and told my best friend (who happens to be filipina) and she goes, "oh yeah, fillipinos are really racist." I'm not trying to say that filipinos are racist, but to imply that you can only be friends with other asian people because white people are racist--well, that's just racist right there. All races have racism. You have to judge people one by one.</p>
<p>ok lets say most white people hate asians whether they admit it or not</p>