Question about status

Applying to College
1

Hello. I’m a long time forum stalker but have finally decided to ask my own question. Be please gentle, I’ve seen how straight to the point some posters are and I’m already nervous and ashamed to ask this.

I dropped out of high school at 16, and finished up through a degree mill (didn’t know at the time) to get a HS diploma. Graduated with a 3.7 gpa while living on my own in California. Didn’t ever even think of going to college. No one in my immediate family has been (mother dropped out of HS at 16 to get married to my biological father and have me, raised by my mom and a step-father who also didn’t attend college).

Now, married and in my mid-20s I’ve been attempting to finish up school for about 3 years now (got my associates degree in May of 2015, yay me!) and have since moved on to an in-state 4 year university.

My question is about student status for special programs and such.

Now, I am hispanic (mother’s side), but my mother’s white father was a major biget who would regularly beat my grandmother for speaking in Spanish or not getting her English accent correct, and when I was in kindergarden he threatened to cut off financial support to my (at the time single) mother if she claimed me as Latina on school papers or official forms. As far as he was concerned it would destroy my future and make it impossible to get into college or get a job. I never even considered it until recently, because despite my upbringing and current life circumstances I am ineligible for a few support programs offered at the campus because I’m not a minority by the Feds standards.

My other situation is that I don’t know anything about my biological father. As far as I’m aware he’s the sperm donor who was in my life long enough to molest me, rape me, beat me, and move on. I don’t know anything about his educational experience at all.

I spoke to a non-traditional student advisor today, and she got me in contact with a lot of great on-campus support systems for students of varrying backgrounds, but I’m worried I won’t be considered a first generation student because I don’t know anything about my biological father and I’m not sure of my ethnicity. Plus, part of me still feels dirty and wrong for having ‘derogattory word for Mexican here’ blood in me, and I’m ashamed to bring it up after all these years.

As for my GPA standing: 3.8 with lots of sciences and math, but professors and other students think less of me because of my age and how long it’s taken me to get here. I’m sitting at 61 finished credits, 15 in progress, and still at least 4 years away from graduating with a full load each semester because of how far behind I am. (I had to retake a lot of high school level math, science, and literature/writing because of being out of high school for so long.)

Anyway, any advice, tips, or supportive comments would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks so much!

2

First of all, congratulations on getting your education! That praise, is well deserved.

Secondly, you are what you think you are, a hispanic student. It ‘don’t’ matter that you were made to deny your heritage,** you’re blood is what it is**. (I am full-blooded first generation Mexican-American / Dad=TexMex+NativeAmer; Mom=from Mexico. On my US birth certificate, all of us are listed as “white”)
Classify yourself as Hispanic, and see if that helps. It didn’t help us because my children were all in public schools. See if you can qualify for anything.

Thirdly, how the hell do people know you are older? Are you publicly announcing it to everyone??? Your age is just a number. No one should care or think less of you in returning to school, unless you are needlessly projecting those feelings? People go back to school at all ages-it ‘don’t’ matter. Spine up and get some confidence! You’re a lot further than people who have dropped out of college. You are educating yourself for you, your wife and children-this is a major accomplishment!

FYI: your financial aid may be limited by the number of semesters you are in school, so you need to watch the length of time in your aid package. The unknown if your birth father. All you can say is that you are unaware of where he is. A problem arises if they can find your birth father and he has significant assets.

3

They shouldn’t care, but it comes up when they ask what year I am (junior, credit wise) and when I will graduate (or they realize a junior shouldn’t be in the class I’m in; like Calculus I, a freshman class here at my school). Plus, it comes up with advisors all the time because they have those records; they see what classes I have and still need to finish my major. I’ve been told by 2 advisors now to just drop out and go to a technical school because of my age/length of schooling.

On top of that I’m in a class that preps for resumes and life after college, and on the first day we had to talk about our current educational experience and 4 year plans. I’m the oldest in the class (they aren’t aware of that, because I didn’t see the reason to bring it up), but it was obvious they all had way more of their life planned out than I did. It was just overwhelming and scary hearing from all these students who have been prepping for their degree since their freshman year of high school.

Thank you for all the kind words and praise though, and I’ll definately bring up my heritage with this counsoler I’m meeting with tomorrow. She’s the head of a research and grad program for minorities and/or first generation + low income students, and it’ll be nice to add a little more to my resume so I can get some extra help.

I just can’t believe how overwhelming this whole higher education thing is. It was so easy getting the grades, it’s everything else that scares the crap outta me. XD

4

So when 90 yr. old great-grandmothers/fathers come on campus and want to finish their degrees, what do they tell those seniors? Drop out and go to technical school?

Get a spine, ignore the naysayers and shut their a$$es up with your bachelor’s degree (sorry for the language, I’m from the 'hood and I hate when “others” discourage adults who are sacrificing family time to better themselves)!

As for the students, it’s none of their &*%!!! business what level math another student is in. Are they doing the work?? Are they paying your fees??? Shine 'em on! In ten years, you’ll be looking at yourself, working in your career, with a college diploma. It won’t matter how old you are, nor how long it took.

5

:stuck_out_tongue: no offense or anything, but I’m pretty sure I grew a spine when my bio father was fucking little 6 year old me.

Thanks for the advice though. :slight_smile:

6

I don’t think you need to be rude to us.

I don’t know what kind of aid you think you would get. Your heritage would only count for admissions and not in CA. I think you are super confused and have adopted a paranoid worldview and should consider a therapist. Average age at many Calif state schools is 27. But I don’t think there is any special aid you are qualified for except the federal and state aid that is based on income and assets, not race. Marking the race you identify with is the only requirement for school forms.