Question for parents whose kids had health issues...

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi, </p>

<p>I'm currently a junior in high school (although we finish tomorrow) and this particular issue has been looming over my head for a while now...I've never really gotten a direct answer for it and I was hoping that if any of you or your sons and daughters had been in the same situation that you might be able to help me.</p>

<p>Freshman year I had a rough transition period (as most people do). I had been hospitalized for depression in 7th grade for a few weeks and in 9th grade I just started coming off of the multiple meds. My bulimia was also persistent from 5th to 9th grade but in the middle of that year it started to phase out. A close family member also died at a young age which also affected my schoolwork.</p>

<p>My end of the year grades were by no means terrible, 3 B+s and 2 A-s, but at the beginning of the year I had to drop down from 2 honors courses due to these circumstances. I've had excellent grades sophomore and junior year, but unfortunately freshman brings down my cumulative GPA by a lot--at least by .3-- and might keep me from being in the 1st decile of my class. </p>

<p>These types of health issues, whether they be physical or mental, seem to be very common at some point in high school and I was just wondering what I should do about it. I'm assuming that colleges will think it a huge liability if my explanation for a few B+s and "low" rigor of course choice is well, suicide-related, etc. I definitely don't plan on addressing it in my part of the application, but I've spoken to my guidance counselor and she said she will write whatever I would like discussed about it in her recommendation. I'm much better now, save for a bulimia relapse here and there, but it's aggravating that an explanation for freshman year can't be provided beyond a "mental health issue." </p>

<p>Like I said, I'm sure that depression, eating disorders, and deaths in the family are common and unfortunate circumstances for most teenagers in high school, so I just don't know what or how much information I should divulge.</p>

<p>If any of you have been through this process with your kids, and/or if you have any advice to offer, I would really really appreciate it. I'm really nervous and unsure of what to do so please, any help at all would be amazing.</p>

<p>Thank you so much!</p>

2

<p>First, I hope you feel better and are over your bulimia. Second, a lot of colleges discount 9th grade grades because they know transition can be rough. Colleges do want to see an upward progression. Third, it is a good idea for your GC to explain that you did have a rough year owing to health related issues. This is better coming from the GC than from you.
Good luck!</p>

3

<p>To confirm what marite said, every college we visited said they discount freshman grades as long as your grade pattern showed a steady improvement in your later years. Application-wise, you don’t need to mention any of your problems unless you want to elaborate in a essay question or interview. The most you would need to say is you suffered from depression and it caused your grades to fall that year.</p>

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<p>Thanks so much. I figure that most colleges do that but I’m worried because it is still calculated into my cumulative GPA. I plan on applying to Brown Early Decision and obviously it is a competitive school so I really don’t want something like this to hinder it (and it’s very possible that it may).</p>

<p>As for the GC bit, would you recommend that she just say I literally had a “health issue”? How in-depth do you think she should go? Would colleges see it as a red flag if she mentioned depression at all? Especially after the whole MIT disaster :/</p>

<p>Thanks again!</p>

5

<p>I would avoid discussing mental health issue. I am not implying there is anything to be ashamed of or pretend it’s not a problem. I think most people could deal with physical illness better, especially if it’s something one could get medication and be cured of. But most people are not as equiped or prepared to deal with mental illness. Of course, you and your doctor should determine if you are ready to be on your own and what type of safety net you’ll have when you are in school.</p>

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<p>You did not say you were totally over the bulimia, and the transition to college may be a little bit of a trigger, so first and foremost, for your health and even survival, make sure you are well.</p>

<p>Generally, you do not have to mention anything at all about any of this in your applications, and the grades you had are not so bad (I understand the thing about the levels, but I have a kid at another Ivy who dropped two levels in math so she could take a music class, and noone seemed to mind in admissions). I would leave it be.</p>

<p>Writing about a health or psych. issue works best if it is not to excuse something, but to show the obstacles that were overcome. Does that make sense?</p>

<p>I would just apply without going into things much (and yes, the GC could say something about health issues, or about a death in the family, but I would ask him/her to be low key and very, very brief, and not a big part of the recommendation letter). </p>

<p>Rely more on the positives you have to offer, which, I am assuming, go beyond grades and scores.</p>

<p>Once you get into a school and choose to go there, you can immediately meet with their disabilities office, with documentation of your depression and bulimia, if you so choose. </p>

<p>Elite colleges have a lot of students with eating disorders, depression and anxiety. Believe me, you will not be alone in having this history. (But that does not mean that you should not take your bulimia very seriously, if it is still going on.)</p>

<p>One other thing: there are many medical conditions that are not at all well-understood, that are chronic and not “curable,” and that are not well accommodated at schools either.</p>

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<p>Thanks for both of your responses. I did think about writing about it in an essay because I definitely grew from it (generic) but I was told to steer away from any mentioning of it at all.</p>

<p>And yes, I’ve taken a few precautions already–the first one being that the college I go to is not far away from home at all–just an hour or so driving distance. I know that I’ll be needing my family if this comes up again. I have definitely taken into consideration what my options would be at the school if I ever encountered this again (my cousin who just graduated from Brown had problems of a similar caliber and she said that she got the help she needed and more).</p>

<p>My GC would literally just say I had a medical issue if that’s what would be necessary.</p>

<p>Yeah, I’m assuming that at least once I get to college a few people would have a little more knowledge of it, either from exposure or not. My friends here don’t have a great understanding of it, and I’m sure I’ll encounter the same thing in college as well to some degree.</p>

<p>I had a bad relapse last week which made me realize that I needed to get professional help, so I’m seeing someone for my bulimia for the first time. I feel better about it already, (especially with school finishing), and even though it was probably just an unfortunate combination of events that led to it, seeing someone has definitely helped me with it so far.</p>

<p>…I feel like I keep dodging something. I guess, what are the pros and cons to this? I’m sorry I basically need everything spelled out for me here…I just really don’t want to take the wrong step in this process.</p>

<p>Thank you all so much for your help.</p>