My DD and I visiting UA for the first time in about two weeks. Assuming she likes it, she will most likely attend Bama. She has connected with some girls through FB that she really likes (without having met in person yet, of course). They are making plans to room together in Honors suite-style housing.
My concern is that the other three girls are planning to rush, and my daughter is not. My DD plans to get involved with Honors activities, Alabama Action, and hopes to be admitted to either CBHP or UFE. She is also interested in intramural sports. So I think that she will make friends through these activities. However, I am worried that with three Greek roommates she could end up being alone in the dorm more than she would like, and feel left out in general. I mentioned this concern and suggested that she keep her mind open to non-Greek girls she meets at Capstone Day. Any thoughts, advice, or experience with this?
I was non-Greek and had a Greek roommate my freshman year. She was NEVER around, which was fine with me! I made plenty of friends right away, and they hung out in my room a lot. Your daughter will be fine!
I was nongreek with other nongreek roommates. I can say there are different types of Greeks that she may or may not be good to room with. My greek friends aren’t always gone. It really depends on the people. Also something to keep in mind is she won’t be able to eat with her roommates much since Greeks eat at their house for most meals.
Excellent point about the meals @bamagirl18…thank you!
Another thing to keep in mind, the other 3 that plan on going Greek could all end up in different houses. There is no guarantee that all 3 would receive bids to the exact same house. While most Greeks have swaps on Thursday nights, chances are they would be gone late on Thursday nights.
Good thing is, your daughter could end up having a HUGE array of friends from many different areas.
Yes, most Greeks do eat their meals at their house. That is only from Breakfast on Monday thru Lunch on Friday. One meal on home game days, typically lunch. The rest of the time, they are going to be just like your daughter, dining hall, dining out or Crimson2Go.
Also, there is no guarantee that every single girl that goes thru recruitment will receive a bid. I know of one girl that was in a suite w/ 3 other girls and all 4 were going thru recruitment. The one girl did not receive a bid. That was a lot rougher being that she had anticipated joining a sorority. Your daughter going in not even planning to join, makes it a lot easier.
I’ve heard a lot of stories from non-Greek friends who had Greek roommates. From what it seemed, this is where girls generally have it easier as it’s easier to bring an extra attractive girl into a fraternity event than it is to bring an extra attractive guy to the same event.
As with all roommate arrangements, it’s important to set boundaries. For example, roommates might decide that their suite is not to be used for large gatherings unless the roommates are notified a couple days in advance. A lot of students like having a quite place on campus where they can decompress. Having ones suite be that place is a good choice.
As a reminder, one shouldn’t expect to be best friends with their roommates. If it works out that way, great. Otherwise, focus on finding roommates who will be clean and respectful of each others space.
It depends on the individual. I had a greek roommate who was a great guy and very fun to hang out with. He wasn’t around that often, but it was ok. The bathroom didn’t get as dirty and he didn’t distract me from HW.
Some of them might be terrible, I don’t know.
My daughter and two others planned to rush, while the third roommate did not. Of the three who did, one dropped out, and my daughter and the other ended up in separate sororities. All are in an honors suite and agreed that the suite was not going to be “party central”. The two roommates who did NOT go Greek are my daughter’s absolute best friends. They go out together (my daughter takes them to fraternity parties), they study together in the library, and they eat together on weekends. My daughter and one are both in cbh and have logged in lots of lab hours together, too. (My daughter was a late addition out of the reserve pool, so when they planned to room together, they didn’t know they would have that in common.) She has even taken them (one or the other) along to a gameday meal at the sorority house or a “fried Friday” lunch. They have gone to games with her and sat with her other sorority sisters. In fact, the two non-greeks, my daughter, and one of her sorority sisters will live in an apartment together next year. In the end, it is really about personality type. All of my daughters roommates were found through FB and all checked the block in the housing roommate finder that they wanted their roommates to be their best friends. The fourth roommate brought her boyfriend from home to school and is with him 24/7. Not the best fit, but she will go her separate way next year (planning to live in her sorority house, I think) and they are all able to coexist this year. In my daughter’s experience, it is really more important to be on the same page as the other roommates and to all get along, rather than whether or not they are Greek.
Thanks everyone for the very helpful comments! Lots to think about. I will share these replies with my DD. 