Questions concerning Non-Custodial

Parents Forum
1

<p>Originally posted in Financial Aid Forum, but hope to get some help from the parents:</p>

<p>Questions regarding Non-Custodial </p>

<hr>

<p>I have several questions regarding non-custodial parents:</p>

<p>1)Is there any calulators that one can guess the non-custodial parents info and put their own actual info to figure out what some of these colleges might do?</p>

<p>2)Will both me and my ex get SEPERATE efcs? For example, I've already filed the Fafsa and know our efc. Once the profile is submitted by the ex, will it change (assuming it would with his income included), but will the difference show under HIS responsibility? He is claiming he can't (read: WON'T) help with college, and am wondering if this might give me leverage in the arguements that are sure to follow.</p>

<p>3)Can someone please confirm for my peace of mind that with the FAFSA, there is nothing the non-custodial parent has to do, file or submit? Only my information, correct? (I'm not remarried)</p>

<p>4) Ex is out of town, and won't file the non-custodial profile part until second week of February. Some of the schools have Feb. 1st deadline. My Fafsa and profile are already submitted. How strict will the schools be about ex's part? Should I call them? Anyone have any experience with ex being late with his/her part?</p>

<p>Thanks for your help. I really need it!</p>

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<p>The answer to your question depends on the college. FAFSA does not require non custodial parent info but many colleges do insist either on the noncustodial parent's statement or a letter from your counselor (the office will have boilerplate letters of this sort, believe me) stating that the non custodial parent has not been present in your child's life. In cases where they are asking for the non custodial parent's info, they are going to expect him to pay his share. If you want to get some idea of how colleges treat this, google "noncustodial parent"; financial aid. You will get a the website pages of a number of colleges addressing this very issue. And, yes, if your ex does not cooperate, your child could be penalized. </p>

<p>You should call each of your child's colleges (in my opinion anonymously) and ask precisely what their policy is regarding uncoperative non custodial parents. Schools that ask for Profile usually want that non custodial statement. You can also google "non custodial parent"; college name, putting in the name of the colleges involved to get an idea of what the official policy of the school is before asking questions. </p>

<p>Schools have still processed financial aid requests with info missing by the due date, but you are at a disadvantage when you do this as the money could well be gone by then. A highly desired student with special circumstances may get a bye on this, but for most students, it is not a good thing. The college grants are often gone by this date. It is much easier to just have the counselor send the letter stating the noncustodial parent's lack of involvement, than to deal with recalcitrant exes refusing to cooperate. Especially if you have no legal recourse in going after them for the money that they will have to chip in. Education is supposed to be a decision made by BOTH parents, but that is not the way it always works. </p>

<p>Stepparents complicate the picture even more. Even with a prenup refusing to pay for college, steps are often expected to contribute to college costs. There are some schools that do give this situation a pass, but you do need to ask the colleges what their policy is if this is your situation.</p>

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<p>Thank you redr, for bringing this topic here and thank you jamimom for providing your wealth of knowledge and expertise (as you so often do). Having just gotten S squared away, we are now helping grandS and may have sort of the opposite problems of redr:</p>

<p>gS has switched custodial parents a few times over the years. Is now w Dad. Mom is supportive for sure of the college app process (we are the "application managers" as we are so familiar with process because our S is similar age to gS) and will do her part on FAFSA. She is non-custodial, however. Dad has always seen college as frivolous or some such. Not sure how he will respond to FAFSA - refuse, procrastinate... or maybe cooperate. Our plan is to have gS obtain info re Dad and we will help gS complete forms (after all, colleges treat FAFSA officially as student responsibility anyway). But what if gS can't get Dad's info and Dad doesn't fill out form?</p>

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<p>Questions:</p>

<p>
[quote]
1)Is there any calulators that one can guess the non-custodial parents info and put their own actual info to figure out what some of these colleges might do?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>None that I know of. </p>

<p>
[quote]
2)Will both me and my ex get SEPERATE efcs? For example, I've already filed the Fafsa and know our efc. Once the profile is submitted by the ex, will it change (assuming it would with his income included), but will the difference show under HIS responsibility?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>None of the colleges that asked for NC information for my son gave me that sort of information. In fact, no college ever gave me an "EFC" - the financial aid award letters set out dollar figures for loans, grants, work study, etc.; as well as the figures they used for figuring total costs -- but there wasn't a section called "EFC". I had to do the math myself. </p>

<p>
[quote]
3)Can someone please confirm for my peace of mind that with the FAFSA, there is nothing the non-custodial parent has to do, file or submit? Only my information, correct? (I'm not remarried)

[/quote]
</p>

<p>True. </p>

<p>I'm a little bit interested in a related problem -- my son is out of college and working, and living on his own. He is under age 24, so if he returns to college he will have to provide parent income information on the FAFSA. But who is the "custodial" parent when the kid is self-supporting, and neither parent claims him as a dependent? </p>

<p>
[quote]
4) Ex is out of town, and won't file the non-custodial profile part until second week of February. Some of the schools have Feb. 1st deadline. My Fafsa and profile are already submitted. How strict will the schools be about ex's part? Should I call them? Anyone have any experience with ex being late with his/her part?

[/quote]
</p>

<p>LOL. My ex has never done anything on time! What will happen is that the financial aid department will call/write and tell you they are missing X document. Or, if you are lucky, they will call/write directly to your ex (assuming you provide them with address & phone number). The won't process the award until they have all the docs, but it doesn't matter if its late. The worst case is that it may delay a financial aid offer -- you definitely don't want them to be waiting on that stuff on April 1.</p>

5

<p>calmom,</p>

<p>You encourage me to have hope! I have tried everything to get the paperwork to exH, typing lists of dates and documents needed, complete with directions about writing S's name and SS# on the tax stuff etc etc etc, and yet still expect lateness. Thanks for posting!</p>

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<p>Momofthree - you must also make extra copies of the docs that you pre-filled in for your ex, so that you can fax them to him when he tells you he "lost" the first set. A preaddressed stamped envelope is also a good idea, for when he forgets how to mail it. </p>

<p>One good thing about this process is it reminds you of the many excellent reasons you had for divorcing the guy.</p>

7

<p>calmom,
LOL! Yes, I have already had this conversation "I made copies in case you lost anything . . ." Still smiling!</p>

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<p>Just a warning on procrastinating ex spouses: yes, they can at best hold up the process. So you won't get the package as quickly as everyone else. However, without the info, the financial aid will not be processed, and if you are late, you may end up with the dregs. It is not as though the colleges save any of the grants for the yet unprocessed applicants. At worst, when the procrastinator starts the forms late, decides they are too much trouble, and simply does not do them. I see this too often.</p>

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<p>Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! Excellent replies, and I think you've not only helped me, but others as well. I knew the parents forum was the best place for this discussion!</p>

<p>I do believe ex will get them to the schools, just not by Feb.1st. I think it will be closer to Feb. 10-15th. Thanks hopefully not too late to hold up our FA offer.</p>

<p>Too bad they don't seperate the custodial responsibility from the non-custodial. That would have been VERY helpful. Oh well.</p>

<p>Calmom, I'm sorry I can't help with your question. Hopefully someone else can. I laughed out loud at your post about why we divorced in the first place!</p>

<p>Jamimom, thanks for your posts as well.</p>

10

<p>Jamimom, I appreciate your comments, and don't intend to let it get out of hand, if I can possibly help it. We have already gone through this delay business for four years when D was in college. Ex really does want kids to go to college, and WILL do his part of the paying, if the past is any sign, he just wants to wait right up to the last second prior to deadlines, and sometimes beyond.</p>