Quitting my sport? :/

Parents Forum
1

<p>I'm a jr this year and I've been swimming year round since I was 8 yrs old. I used to be very good, top 5 in at competitive state in 3-4 events, but for some reason I have gotten worse and I'm not that good anymore.
I have some issues with my club coach, such as he is now enforcing a ridiculous practice attendance requirement that he originally told us he would not do. I spend 21+ hrs a week at practice, in addition to running varsity XC in the fall, swimming for my HS in the winter, and playing softball in the spring. This is a big time commitment and it has affected my academics, but up until now I thought it was worth it.
I broke my foot a few months ago and recently broke my finger really badly (into 6 pieces), forcing me to stop swimming for a while. Besides the fact that my coach was thoroughly unsympathetic, I realized that when I didn't have to swim, I did not miss it at all. Also I don't plan on swimming in college.</p>

<p>So basically my question is, what are your thoughts on my situation? I don't find swimming all that fun anymore, many of my good friends on my swim team were seniors so they're graduating, and there are not very many people in our group (the highest level on the team) left bc a lot of other people left too. I know I shouldn't care what colleges think, but I'm afraid they'll think I'm a quitter or something and it will have a big negative effect on my application. I'm also afraid of regretting my decision, as I've been doing this for so long and have given up many other things for it. </p>

<p>Thanks for your input.</p>

2

<p>You're not a quitter, but a graduate! You've done it, you've gone huge amounts out of it, in discipline, drive, and energy, and it is time to move on. I suggest you celebrate the end of a good career, and toast the begninning of some others.</p>

3

<p>My D gave up competitive figure skating in her freshman year of HS. She realized that any Olympic dreams were just that, dreams. She elected to channel all that time and energy into new passions that would serve her well into the future. Follow your heart.</p>

4

<p>My son made the starting line of the varsity football team at his school as a sophomore and did quite well. Halfway through the season, he realized that there were other things besides football that he wished he had time to try. He declined a spot on the team for next year, much to the chargrin of the coaches who put a lot of pressure on him to change is mind. </p>

<p>He is now very involved with his school's drama program, focusing on his music, pursuing self-study of ancient greek, and having a lot of fun doing all three. The head football coach recently asked him if he'd changed his mind about football. He told the coach nope, he had no regrets. </p>

<p>I don't see why anyone should continue to do something requiring a HUGE time commitment if they don't enjoy it. Life is too short, and there are too many other fun and interesting things to try. Best of luck!</p>

5

<p>Bringing up your GPA will be more important to colleges than continuing to do the swimming. Cross country and softball is plenty -- you could even drop one and probably still look fine, especially if you get your grades up! </p>

<p>Plus this also gives you a great college application essay topic, if you get a prompt like "Describe a growth experience", or "Describe how you made a difficult decision". :)</p>

6

<p>Starting something at age 8 does not obligate one to finish it through high school. It obligates one to finish it through the year in which one signed up.</p>

<p>Your body is going to fall apart. Focus on one or two sports, do them well, and fill up your time with enjoyable activities. </p>

<p>As an alum interviewer, I can tell you that I would be very turned off by a student that expressed no interest in her main activities. I would much prefer a student to love everythign that she does, regardless of how long she's done it.</p>

7

<p>My DD decided after 5 years HS soccer she would run cross country as a senior and loved it. She is in track for the first time this spring. I think as long as you do something like work, a club, or another sport colleges will not see you as a quitter but someone who is willing to try new things.</p>

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<p>My daughter sounds similar to you -- she had a really good breaststroke and was training year round. She made varsity as a freshman on a team that is always in the top 5 in our state. She gave it up after her sophomore year because she wanted to do other activities, and the training you need in swimming to maintain or get better at her level left no time for anything else besides homework. Now she couldn't be happier that she quit, and is pursuing her music (she had put her interest in piano and voice aside when she started swimming in high school). I think she stuck with swimming too long because her identity within the sport was so strong.
Find out from your high school coach if they think you're recruitable (or look up meet results at the schools you're interested in to see where you would fit in) If you're times are competitive, it might help you get into a better college, and it's only one more season If you're not that fast compared to the kids at the school you want to go to , it probably won't matter if you quit. And your grades will go up.
My daughter's one regret is that now she can't eat everything she wants and not worry about gaining weight!</p>

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<p>"I think she stuck with swimming too long because her identity within the sport was so strong."</p>

<p>Yeah.. I think that's one of the main reasons why it's so hard to me to give this up</p>

10

<p>I agree with the above advice. I just wanted to mention that as I read your post, I was thinking that with a different coach it might become fun again...</p>

11

<p>sapphire and SBmom- both of you are CORRECT. </p>

<p>Ever since I was six years old, I've been riding horses. I loved, loved everything related to horses and dreamed about my own, just like any horse-crazy kid. But after two or three years, I began lying to my mom that I was getting headaches and didn't want to ride anymore. I realized that I wasn't having much fun in my lessons because I kept getting pushed and pushed by my instructor. I had another instructor that I rode with on another day but he had left (missed him a lot). It was just too much for a nine year old to deal with a tough instructor. So I took off two years, thinking that my love for horses would go away. I even quitted drawing horses for a year.</p>

<p>Then a neighbor moved across from my house and built her own stable on her property. Before i knew it, I would sit on the fence everyday, just to watch the horses graze and play. I decided that I just HAD to ride again. So I did and had a great time with my neighbor. Since we also moved soon after, I went to a summer horse camp and joined a new barn in the fall. Had a wonderful instructor with challenging horses for two years. Then she retired and I got two new ones for the next three years until I graduated high school. </p>

<p>I have to admit, I did consider quitting riding AGAIN in my senior year of high school just because it was so routine and I just didn't really care about my lessons anymore (though I cared a lot for the horses). I decided to try riding again in college since I wanted to join the equestrian team eventually.</p>

<p>By November, I couldn't STOP talking about my lessons to my parents because I loved the instructor and the horses. So I've been riding since, and even joined the equestrian team at my new school in the fall.</p>

<p>Now I am back to where I was- thinking about how to make my riding experience so much better because riding is so much part of my identity. Life doesn't seem right without horses for me.</p>

<p>What I've learned is that sometimes who's "above" you can make or ruin your experience and reason for even starting up the activity. I found that if I felt that my instructors were too pushy/competitive, then I didn't enjoy coming to the lessons. If I had an instructor who simply taught for the love of horses and really show it in her methods, then I felt that I got something out of it. Also with the equestrian team and meeting girls at my age over the years, I also realized that I didn't ride to compete and didn't see my horses as vehicles whereas these girls did. I rode for the love of horses and saw them as my partners.</p>

<p>Fortunately for you, you have the pool. You can jump in anytime you want and be all by yourself with the water. You're still a swimmer. For me, I can (at least try) go to the barn and sit by a horse all day along and still consider myself a horse-nut.</p>

<p>By taking time off or retiring from competition, people are able to prolong their life with their sports. You just need to be creative on HOW to do that. Of course, first is to dump a competitive, aggressive coach :)</p>

<p>14 years of riding and still going strong :)</p>

12

<p>sapphire07,</p>

<p>Take a break from competitive swimming. For how long will only be determined by you. It sounds to me that you would be so much happier if you concentrated on your studies and the other sports that you haven't done as long. Only year-round swimmers (and their parents) know of the incredible time and energy commitment that is involved. I played three sports in hs and then did two throughout college (none swimming). I thought doing that was amazingly hard, but then I had a child who, like you, swims competitively year-round. IMHO there isn't a sport that can match the intensity of swimming's yearlong training- where there is no "off season", so I can understand your thoughts. </p>

<p>If you don't love it and see yourself wanting to have time trying other things, do. You won't get that last senior year back. Surely, colleges will look at the huge commitment you already made to the sport. They will also see a very level-headed and well-rounded student athlete. Good luck with everything and have fun in the rest of your high school life!</p>

13

<p>Mom of a year-round swimmer here! If you are certain that you don't want to swim for a college, I think that you should take a leave from your club team and continue to do your three high school sports (x-country, softball and swimming) if they give you joy. You will not "look" like a quitter (and, in fact, you are not a quitter... quitters are people who try something and then quickly bail when the going gets tough... nobody who has swum for 9 years could be considered a quitter). Swimming at the club level, especially in the top senior group, is very intense. Admissions folks might not even appreciate the time-commitment (or how exhausted you become swimming from 5:30 to 7 a.m. and then from 4 to 6 p.m. five or six days a week), unless they had personal or family experience with it. My D is spending her spring break this week swimming four hours a day, 2 for high school and 2 for club. Her non-swimmer friends are camping with their families, going on service trips with their churches, sleeping late, staying up past 10 p.m., etc... Luckily, D started swimming at nearly 13 and she just turned 16. She still has a passion for the sport and is just starting to get pretty good at it. She thinks she'd like to swim in college. If she'd begun at 8, like you, I have a feeling she would be burned out, too. </p>

<p>And plus, I don't think you should make decisions about your happiness based on "what colleges might think." You will get into perfectly wonderful colleges whether you continue to swim with your club or not. It's basically irrelevant. But 21 hours a week of your life back, spent doing things that bring you happiness? That is relevant.</p>

<p>Have you spoken to your parents about this? If so, what's their opinion?</p>

14

<p>I'm a year-round club swimmer in a similar situation, although I do not want to quit. I am not fast enough for either of the two schools I have narrowed it down to (Rice and Notre Dame) unless I have some major improvement this summer, like dropping 5 or more seconds in my 200 fly or at least a minute off my mile. I can completely relate to how you feel. I have gone through major slumps before where I have gone over a year without dropping time despite attending eight or more workouts a week.
I have debated quitting many times but I always decide to stick with swimming because it is still enjoyable for me and I always miss it after a week off. However, if you are not finding it to be fun anymore, consider a break or joining a different team. Feel free to PM me to talk about this.</p>

15

<p>Thanks for the advice so far :)</p>

<p>Yes, I have spoken to my parents. My mom feels that stopping would be a good idea, but she has always thought this (even when I enjoyed it) and she complains about the time she spends driving me to practice so much that honestly I'm not sure who's interests she has in mind when she says she would like me to quit.
My father actually is the reason I started seriously considering this again, because he's one of the last people who I would have thought would encourage me to quit. The other night he mentioned that maybe concentrating on school and my other sports would be in my best interest, and that made me really start thinking.</p>

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<p>emswim- yes, you've brought up another good point. I have not improved many of my times from when I was 12. I'm 16 now. Four years of not improving (or improving VERY slightly in 2-3 events) is extremely frustrating, verging on ridiculous, I think, especially considering I've been training much more than when I was younger.</p>

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<p>As Mini said:</p>

<p>You've graduated. Now it's time to commence something else.</p>

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<p>Moominmama, depending on Sapphire's swim times, you could be wrong or you could be right. If she swims fast enough to be recruited, the swimming could actually be more important at some schools than her grades, and that could potentially create pressure to stay with a sport for which a student no longer has a passion. Hopefully that is not the case here.</p>

<p>I don't understand the comments that say "you have graduated". Sapphire mentions that she is a junior. What am I missing?</p>

<p>Swimming is, like many sports, but perhaps more than most, mental as well as physical. When you haven't dropped a time for a long time, it can really play with your head. Many factors could be involved, but training and attitude are probably the first two that come to mind. Sapphire, do you live in a community where you have the option to attach to a different club team if you think your coach isn't providing the best training or motivational environment? Or are you more interested in pursuing track than swimming at this point? Burn-out is not uncommon, but DO be certain that the burn-out is really about swimming, since if you are a junior, you're also in the pressure-cooker year for college testing and academic performance. </p>

<p>The fact that you did not miss swimming at all when you had your time off is the most telling comment I heard you make. If you don't miss the swimming and you don't miss the friendships and you don't like the coach...it sounds like something is wrong. I just hope that if you do quit, it's to go towards something positive and not away from something negative.</p>

<p>Good luck!!!</p>

19

<p>A bit late coming onto this thread - but just wanted to throw in an idea - even if a student does continue on to college swimming - there is the possibility of CLUB swimming - less competitive but a fantastic way to stay in shape - and still keep the chorine flowing..........</p>

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<p>Your swimming would help you get into college only if you are good enough to be recruited, and you plan to swim for the team. Collegiate athletics at the recruited athlete level is pretty serious, and if you are already thinking of quitting, then it seems unlikely you would want to be on the swim team, even if the coaches thought you would succeed. Therefore, its effect on college admissions is over. </p>

<p>If you do multiple other sports anyway, you are hardly lazy, and unless you plan to make swimming your career, your high school education is more important. For the vast majority of high school athletes, they should train and compete because they like it, not because of some external reward. In your case it does not appear that you even want the only reward that might be offered. You seem to have found other things that are more important to you, so do them!</p>