<p>A close family friend is considering quitting playing basketball for a D-3 school. I don't know all the ins and outs of the family situation but the family is putting a lot of pressure on him to get a second job. He has already maxed out on loans his freshman year and will probably do so this year too. He is trying to work do well in school, work 2 jobs plus play basketball. I am thinking the family wants him to know the value of money but he is strongly considering giving up something he loves because the stress of trying to balance it all is proving to be too much for him. The family is paying $30,000 a year for his sister to attend a private high school but they do not seem to want to help him that much. Again, I don't know all the reasons and am trying to see things from their perspective. I know there are things I have regretted and my guess he is really going to miss it, a lot if he chooses to quit. He would eventually like to coach so wondering if quitting your sophomore year will have any consequences and wanted all of your opinions. It is a tough decision for him as he has always been so involved in athletics and is in no way burned out, it is just the financial burden and stress of it all is getting to be too much.</p>
<p>Shouldn’t hurt him in pursuit of coaching career. may want to go in and be honest with his coach. They may let him stay in the program in some capacity if they like him. It is almost impossible to play a college sport & work at the same time.</p>
<p>Sounds like the family made two bad decisions - sending him to a school they can’t afford and sending his sister to a high school they can’t afford (because now they can’t afford college tuition - $30,000 - really?!)</p>
<p>Is he working summers when he is off? Such a nice opportunity to get to play bball if he really enjoys it, but this sounds like a recipe for disaster - mentally, academically and fiscally.</p>
<p>They can afford it is my guess, Mom has an excellent job. They are choosing not to do so, which is another topic of discussion. He worked last year, one job, while playing basketball and going to school. It is the added pressure of a second job. What a great kid he is and this all seems so unfair with parents that just don’t want to help. And yes, he did work 2 jobs this summer.</p>
<p>Maybe the family is more cash strapped than you think. </p>
<p>I’m guessing that his parents don’t think that his first job is really a “job” or else they wouldn’t be pressuring him to get another job. </p>
<p>What is he doing that his parents think a lesson on the value of money is necessary?</p>
<p>I would love to hear the parent’s side of this story.</p>
<p>It could well come down to a point that this young man will have to prioritize his time and basketball will have to go.</p>
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wow… somehow my sympathy generator can’t get revved up on this one. If he is a valued member of the bball team, perhaps the school can find some additional financial aid (not loans) for him. If basketball is a higher priority perhaps he can transfer to a less expensive school.</p>
<p>If he cannot handle the time it takes to do varsity basketball, he could still do intramural basketball. I know it is not the same but some intramural teams do compete with other colleges and can be quite competitive. He can also volunteer to coach younger kids like high school teams or lower level especially in the poorer neighborhood if such an opportunity exists. Love of sports can be a life long thing, missing out on a few years of college varsity is not the end of this endeavor.</p>
<p>If he wants to go far in coaching, he needs to stay with the team- either as a player or a manager. I know the Vandy basketball managers work incredibly hard and are training/rebounding/working out with the players at all hours of the day/night. I can’t imagine playing a varsity sport- even D3- and working even ONE job during the school year. This situation isn’t going to work.</p>
<p>^Wouldn’t that be the same in term of time as being a player? If so, then he is back to square one.</p>
<p>Personally, I think playing a D3 sport is a wonderful opportunity for someone who is conditioned (as in has always played) in a sport. But bball aside, how realistic is it to expect a student to work 2 jobs?! I know, I know some kids do it. But really?</p>
<p>Or maybe # of jobs isn’t what we should be looking at here. How about # of HOURS he is working? Job #1 might only be a 5 hr a week work study job. More details? Did the parents agree to this choice of school knowing the costs and affordability (or non-affordability??)?</p>
<p>I see D3 sports as a luxury rather than something that should be accommodated no matter what. It would be another thing if D3 players are not allowed to receive scholarships. S2 might have the option of participating when his time comes but in a way I hope he doesn’t choose to. Unless you have a very good chance of going pro, academics should come first. Paying the bill second. And then if there is time, just like any EC, then do a sport. As mentioned earlier, the parents might be more strapped for cash than it appears and/or they are trying to help the kid get in better touch with the importance of making a living.</p>
<p>Our son was at a D2 school on a partial scholarship for football. The number of hours required of student athletes during the season is monumental—close to 40 hours a week during the football season for our son. And, for him, the game he loved became a huge burden that he had to carry. Giving up the sport was a relief to him.</p>
<p>NCAA rules prohibit athletic scholarships at Division 3 colleges. Need based or academic of course are fine.</p>
<p>However if he is a good player schools may “sweeten the pot” so to speak if they really want to keep him. MAY. </p>
<p>Did the parents support their son’s decision to go to this school AND play Bball?</p>
<p>I played D1 sports at Cal in the 70’s when dad got fed up and told me if I was so smart…I could do the college experience myself w/o his checkbook and he wished me well. My sis was getting private grad school funding at the time. After I quit pouting…I became a houseboy in a sorority and had free room and board. Granted, tuition was basically free but it still was hard to save money for me to pay it each quarter and still have enough money to ‘keep up with Joneses’…which is very important to not lose social status in school.
I managed to survive the experience… out of desparation …and am glad I did. That lad in D3 just needs to do some soul searching…his world will not come to an end…he might just think it will. He should ALSO be watched very closely psychologically as he might become despondant while dealing with this experience. I would bet money if he has to quit BB and/or take another job…he will become withdrawn. If that happens…you don’t want it to go on too long.</p>
<p>One of my kids had as many as four jobs simultaneously at college – at least until someone in the university’s accounting office noticed that if you added up all her hours from the jobs she would qualify as a full-time employee, and they cut her back to a maximum of 20 hours/week. She did a number of unpaid extracurricular activities, too, but nothing as demanding as varsity sports. </p>
<p>She liked the work, liked the money, and it didn’t seem to interfere with her coursework. Most of it was directly related to her career ambitions, and the rest was effectively part of her social life (working at a coffee house that she and her friends ran as a group, and pretty much used as their clubhouse).</p>
<p>How much could the second job bring? 10 hours/week at $10/hour would be 100/week, max $350/month. I can’t believe this family would be that hard up for that money if they are paying $30K for younger sister’s private high school.</p>
<p>Maybe the younger sister has scholarship money or money coming from another source, directed toward her, that you don’t know about.</p>
<p>We don’t know, but OP seem to think they are paying full amount. At our kids’ private school, at 30K, probably less than 10% of kids were on FA, and we all knew who were on FA. It is different than college.</p>
<p>Send young man a “I think you’re a great guy” card – sometimes those mean more than you’ll ever know. </p>
<p>Take mom to lunch. Rave over young man (but don’t tell her what to do). Make sure you throw in one story of a student who was so exhausted they drove into a tree (it happened just about two miles from my house. The young woman survived - barely). You don’t tell Mom what to do, but you can set the table for her to re-think her blessings. </p>
<p>Then you need to step back. That amazing, sweet young man may (just possibly) be the worst smart mouth in history when alone with parents (it happens) or there may be other factors that you don’t know (like BBall team is full of druggies and parents are looking for a way to drive a wedge between Boy and Thug Teammates).</p>