<p>I have played varsity tennis at my high school since 8th grade, and have recently finished up my junior year season. I have always thought I would be a captain as a senior; I encourage my teammates, am friends with everybody, haven't missed a match or practice. This year, my coach made me move up to singles where she knew I would lose, and I kept my head up when other girls on my team would break down in tears when they lost. However, I have found out that my coach has chosen two other girls to be captain, one who joined a year later than me, and one who joined the same year as me and never talks to anyone, never pays for anything, and isn't even that good. I'm extremely frustrated by this. I had a plan for senior year to maximize our conditioning in the off-season and use our time effectively to turn our losing streak around, and when I told my coach about it, she told me that it was great, but it was "more of a captain thing" to plan. She then proceeded to make up some excuse how she thought I was too busy so she wasn't even going to ask me, which really just meant she was afraid of confrontation. I don't know what to do because I've done everything I could for the last four years to be a leader. Last practice, she made me sweep all of the courts while the rest of the team shoved their faces with food, and she then forced me to bake brownies for the unfriendly girl's (who is to be captain) birthday. I'm just sick of feeling so disrespected, and now my coach is talking to me about being second singles next year. She expects me step up to fill one of the hardest positions on the team, yet she doesn't think I can step up to be a leader. I can't stand to listen to her tell the two girls how they're going to "emerge as leaders" next year. Honestly, tennis isn't even fun for me anymore. The only reason I would consider playing next year is for the college apps, but I don't know if it's worth it. I am taking four A.P.'s, two honor's classes, and two electives. I'm in a few clubs and honor societies, and tennis takes up so much of my time. During the season, I get home at around 8 every night, and am up to at least 1 in the morning doing homework. I'd rather focus on school, and start volunteering at my local library and animal shelter, maybe even take up a sport outside of school. I am at the top of my class and considering the top schools in the country for some sort of science major, so will quitting tennis my senior year look bad for the lack of continuity? Has anyone had this experience, and is it really worth it to keep playing?</p>
<p>Marilee Jones, (although tainted by scandal and forced to resign), was long-time director of admissions at MIT in 2005 when her daughter, an only child, wrestled with a similar choice with Soccer. Marilee was a leader in the field of College Admissions. She endorsed her daughter’s decision not to play varsity soccer her senior year. She writes about it in her book (for parents) on the college application process, “Less Stress, More Success: A New Approach to Guiding Your Teen Through College Admissions and Beyond.” Bottom line: you don’t owe anything to your coach, and she owes you nothing, that trumps following your own heart and your dreams. She is doing what she thinks is best for the team, and you need to do what is best for you. You will always have this experience, and stopping it at this juncture gives you time and space in your high school experience to open up to other opportunities which will bring you joy. It may seem like a bigger deal now than it will in 10 years. Trust in yourself.</p>
<p>Ohhh man I can relate, haha. A very similar thing happened to me my senior year, except with track. I know how discouraging it can be to have worked really hard and been an important contributor for four years, and then get rewarded for your time with something like this. And my coach also said “it’s more of a captain thing” practically verbatim while handing the responsibility of the team over to a sophomore and junior whose parents had donated thousands of dollars but were hardly present at practice. You can bet the only other senior and I were pretty peeved…</p>
<p>What I ended up doing was sticking with it, but it sucked, to be honest. The only saving grace was that I talked to my head coach (who was responsible for the entire team instead of just one event) sometime in February and he agreed to make me co-captain as long as I helped him run the meets, do administrative stuff, roll call, etc since I’d helped so much in the past. So although in the end it was more of an honorary title bestowed upon me by my head coach, I was able to include my new leadership position in an update email to colleges, along with some other awards I had garnered during that time. </p>
<p>I don’t know how much it helped. Probably not a lot, unless you’re looking to get recruited and/or have very few other extracurriculars. Are there other coaches on the team you could maybe talk to? I think you might be at a crossroads here. Do you suck it up for the sake of a marginally better college application (and for the sake of doing a sport all through high school) or do you pursue your other passions? </p>
<p>PM me if you want to talk. And best of luck–I hope everything works out!</p>
<p>edit: typo</p>
<p>Although it wasn’t varsity soccer but club soccer that my daughter quit at the end of junior year, oh I understand. She was on a top 50 national team and wrestled with the “will it look better on my apps to play through senior year?” In the end, her heart just wasn’t in it due to the massive time commitment. Classgrad2016 – what I would tell you is that if you have an idea of what you would do with the extra time, then I believe that your college applications can only get stronger. I truly believe that in the end, my daughter was accepted into her ED school because of the incredible depth of her ECs that she was able to do just in the one junior spring, summer and her senior fall - things that she could have never done if she was playing soccer every weekend. Her decision was the best thing for her. Now a freshman in college, she is the only girl playing on a men’s intramural soccer team also plays on a coed intramural team. She loves soccer again. If you can use your new-found time wisely, this decision can benefit you. </p>
<p>Look, I can relate- from something I dropped in 7th grade, when my accomplishments didn’t result in the right bump up that I had earned, by the rules. ie, not just a hope. I’m kind of proud of that. But it was 7th grade and you’re talking abut senior year and college apps. When does the season pick up again? You have time to decide.</p>
<p>If you will be applying to competitive colleges, they can care much about what you replace this with. When kids drop for something of legit increased responsibilities, it can be fine. But just because you’re disappointed can be the wrong reason. Just think about it.</p>
Hi everyone! Sorry for the delayed response, as my coach has been reorganizing some things over the past few months. At the last minute, she decided to add me on as a captain, so I’m going to stick with it, mostly since I don’t want to let my teammates down. Thanks so much for all of the answers!
Hurrah! Have a great year!
This post is from October 2014. I’m sure the OP has moved on.