<p>A "good package deal" is more how I look at it.</p>
<p>
[quote]
She is the farthest away of any of her group friends, and the only one who needs snow boots.
[/quote]
From what I hear she will need knee high ones today!</p>
<p>Kids from my S's NW high school are all over the map, from Maine to Texas. It seems distance doesn't figure into it much.</p>
<p>Tell us if you notice a big difference in attitude now that it is winter break.</p>
<p>bump
10 char</p>
<p>Well, my daughter's been home for a week and a half. No change in attitude. In fact, she's missing her school and new friends, and is excited about the new classes she'll be taking this semester (two of which will be with professors she had last semester). And, she referred to Beloit as "back home" last night without even realizing it. I think that's just what she's found. A home.</p>
<p>My D was lucky enough to have the eureka feeling. There were lots of visits and searching before that happened. She was also lucky enough to be admitted and a year and a half later she still feels she is at the school that fits her best. . . even with some warts, as Carolyn calls them.</p>
<p>Lots of neighborhood kids were not so lucky. Quite a few have transferred. Some dropped out and are starting over. It could be just coincidence but it does seem many of them did a few college visits but had no idea what they were looking for. I think the college selection - and admission - process can be very difficult. It can take a lot of advance research and work.</p>
<p>
[quote]
And, she referred to Beloit as "back home" last night without even realizing it.
[/quote]
Mine did that one, too. :(</p>
<p>Happened here as well...</p>
<p>Like Poincare's Conjecture things are not always as they seem on the surface. Student can research, visit, compare, correspond ad infinitum and a random uncertainty can worm its way in to the student's life to sour the experience. This is not to say that the student or the college is lacking. Rather a set of random factors of cross purposes have imposed themselves on the student to ill effect.</p>
<p>Students need to know that their life at any college will not be endlessly idyllic. There will be bumps along the way. Their measure is how they choose to deal with them. Students who have lived a sheltered existance will be less eqiuped than students who have been freed to fend for themselves. And of course anyone who has studied Aristotle knows that happiness is a transcendent state which manifests itself in complex ways.</p>
<p>My son is happy with his state but not giddy. Rensselaer is not "his" college but the college he attends. And though he is now officially a NY resident and anxiously awaits the start of the spring semester, RPI is not his home and never will be. After 2-1/2 years he is grateful for what he has learned, for how he has grown, for the opportunities which have come his way. And now he is looking forward to leaving with confidence that his adult life is just beginning. But yes many random events could have conspired 2 years ago to have sabotaged the life he has built in Troy. And we are thankful and, yes, happy.</p>
<p>Students need to know that their life at any college will not be endlessly idyllic. There will be bumps along the way. Their measure is how they choose to deal with them.>></p>
<p>This is absolutely true. My daughter and I talked a lot last summer about all sorts of possibilities - How will you handle it if you don't get along with your roommate? How will you handle it if you feel homesick or depressed? how will you handle it if you don't like a particular class or teacher? How will you handle certain social situations that might make you uncomfortable or that you haven't faced before? Note: I didn't tell her the answers to these questions, just encouraged her to think about the inevitable bumps that might occur. I did, however, also reassure her that I had every confidence in her ability to handle most of the possible bumps, and that we'd be there if something major happened. </p>
<p>And, a dear friend gave me very good advice at this time last year. She said the time to start letting go of the reins is not the week before your kid goes off to college, but rather the second half of senior year. She encouraged me to start giving my daughter more freedom and control over her life, actions, and decisions as senior year progressed. That included space to make a few mistakes along the way, and to learn how to correct them without Mom and Dad jumping in to "fix" them. When it was time for her to leave for college, my daughter and I had a new, more mature relationship, and we both felt confident that she'd be able to handle the "bumps" if need be. It made the adjustment much easier for both of us.</p>
<p>Sometimes time will just make the biggest difference. D is a freshman, 1600 miles from home and discovering she doesn't like the rain as much as she thought. First semester was rough (overseas roommate who spoke little English), tons reading for classes and she missed her friends terribly, thoug made many new ones. When asked by friends if she was thinking of transferring, she replied "definitely not" as the only financially available options were not what she wanted. S on the other hand is a junior, also ~1600 miles away (different school), LOVES his school, hasn't been home either summer afterwards and didn't make it home for Xmas this year either. Worked much harder with D to find the best fit of a school. May have to wait a year or two to see if that actually happens.</p>