Maybe he can do a boat lease for a season.
“But a bank for a couple of months beats our mattress for safety.” - Yep!
Ok, my question that needs your thoughts. A friend is barely scraping by, making very little at her main job, a 2nd job ended bec of covid. The only reason her power isn’t off is the elec co holding billling . This is a genuinely good person. Not a wanton spender. She’s the sort who makes all feel good for her presence. No family to lean on. I know her through a suport group I led for a couple of years, so know a lot about her life. The group became friends and zooms each week.
I’d like to send her a small amount of $. I was going through a box of old mail and found a $20 bill. (Just like that, yeah.) My find, but how to use it? (Thanksgiving and Christmas work up my sense of giving.)
I thought, why not send it to her, pass it on, just send it, anonymously? It’s literally down to that for her, where $20 means a little bit for a turkey or whatever.
The question is- anonymously? Just a 20 in an envelope (maybe with a card) with a message that it’s a random act of kindness, no indication it’s from me? Or sign my name? D1 suggested one of those gift money cards we can buy locally, as opposed to cash. But I literally have this $20 sitting on my side table, itching to go to someone else.
This would really be just a one-way gift from me. From the universe. Zero expectation of any return, just a teeny kindness.
What would you do? Or how would you do it?
@lookingforward I would send it anonymously with a cheery card. I wouldn’t sign it or she may feel awkward that you know so much about her situation.
Personally if you can afford it I would get a gift card for whatever amount you can afford to a local grocery store and slip the money in with it. Just a card and Happy Holidays.
If you’re doing it anonymously, and if you can afford it, I would send more (at least $100).
I’d send it anonymously making sure my writing couldn’t identify me. I’d send more than $20 if I could. Plus I’d add a short note saying something to the effect of “From a little bird - to help survive Covid times. Feel free to use it now, and later in life when things improve, send it on to another who can use it to get through something.”
I’ve found at school when kids are in need it helps them a ton mentally to think of being able to give to others later in life vs just feeling down because they’re in need of lunch money (or whatever) now.
I like this whole idea.
Years ago, during Christmas season, I came across a $20 bill on the sidewalk. I picked it up and dropped it in a Salvation Army bucket. As you can see, years later, I still feel good about it.
Several years ago, we had a friend in a similar situation. We paid her electric bill anonymously until she was back on her feet. I feel that financial gifts like this need to be anonymous because, otherwise, they can impair the integrity of the friendship by tipping the “power” balance. I’ve also put money in an envelope, no card, and either slipped it into someone’s purse, jacket, or under a door. I don’t think there is any need for writing any sentiment as there are no strings on the gift and no control over what the receiver uses it for; when they find the money, they know it’s a gift and how it will be used.
It’s true that knowing the giver can impair the friendship, unless you’re very close. I was worried she would be embarassed to know it was me. I decided against the market gift card, got a holiday card and slipped the $ in. Just got back from mailing it.
In fact, I got $20 at the bank and am keeping my found $20 on the side table, to remind me to do more. Yeah. It’ll be ‘the $20 that spawned giving.’
Funny thing but a friend and I were talking about favors, reciprocation, protocol, just yesterday. It’s not hard to try to be mindful of others’ needs, even on a small basis. A kind word, a phone call, a hand on their shoulder (alas, few hugs during covid.) Or a few dollars for whatever. It’s all a good thing.
This is the first Christmas ever that I’m deeply into the spirit so early. Even listening to holiday songs on the radio. Thanks to all for the advice.
A few years ago the husband of a couple we know lost his job, wife disabled, 2 kids in college. I sent them $100 a week anonymously for a year until he got a job in his field (he was scrabbling together many PT minimum wage jobs). I only used the city and zip as a return address and used my printer for addressing the envelope. She would have been able to identify my writing.
They never figured it out. She posted weekly on FB thanking their “Angel”. I gave them more at Christmas. It helped keep them afloat at a difficult time.
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It’s a tough thing. When we’ve shared money or gift cards , we’ve never found a way to do it anonymously. One dear friend in need also got anonymous Christmas gifts via church office… it was hard on her not knowing who to thank.
We have a family story where during the depression a neighbor couple (without children) paid mortgage for a year for a family (with 3 young children). I use that story when we write a “pay it forward” note to the recipients.
Switching topics, we’re getting tons of charity mailers now, and not only us, but also for my mom who has been deceased for over a year and never lived at our house. I had her name put on the “opt out” of junk mail list some time ago, but it doesn’t seem to matter. She gets charities and medicare/insurance mailers. One of the last ones was for funeral insurance. Usually I use the stamp with their envelope and let them know she died 7/2019, so please take her off their mailing list. For some others I call. Sometimes I just recycle/compost/toss the various parts of the mailing.
It’s frustrating.
We’re generous and maybe that gets us on lists, but never have I chosen an organization to give to from a cold call mailing. Most of those donations go to the company doing the mailing and not the charity last I knew. I wish they would save their money and save the planet. It seems to me to be as bad as all the college mailings and military info that would come after the ACT/SAT/PSAT.
@dentmom4 : That’s an extraordinarily generous thing to do.
Totally agree… There’s some very generous people on this forum. Plus helping others when you can makes you feel good.
What can I do with unpasteurized apple cider that has become fizzy? Can I turn it into hard cider or use it for baking??
Random answer instead of question. 
I see that the “new CC forum look” debuts Monday, November 23. Just thought I’d share that since others might be like me and not check out the Parent Forum (not cafe).
Just thought people should be informed.
@HMom16 – many moons ago my college roommates bought a jug of apple juice at the local market and the cap blew off as they were bringing it home. They drank it and were “very Happy!” shall we say…
We had a bottle of apple cider that turned hard, too. Have tried to do this intentionally, but have been unsuccessful. Suggestions welcome!
Any recommendations for a good hand cream? D is a surgery resident and her hands get really dry/chapped with all the washing.