Rate my SAT Essay

Test Preparation SAT Preparation
1

<p>This is my 1st SAT essay since 7th grade. It came out like an APUSH essay - I even have it grouped - social and political! ROFL :(. Tell me what you think my score will be. </p>

<p>


</p>

<p>My Essay:</p>

<p>The only constant in this world is change. Change is inevitable. But are we changing for the better, or for the worse? In my opinion, we are treading in both directions. </p>

<p>One of the biggest phenomenons since WWII is the development of consumer culture. Today, we are often judged by our material possessions. We strive to own the latest and the greatest. We strive to keep up, buying only the latest, and the greatest. We have fallen into a cookie-cutter culture. Everyone wants to buy the same brand of shoes, the same brand of clothes, the same brand MP3 player, etc. Our individuality is being stifled by this chance, this cataclysmic shift, toward a mass consumer culture. In our aim to fit in, we become homogeneous, indistinguishable,e unrecognizable, from the rest of the rabblement. </p>

<p>Another major development has been the rise of mass culture and leisure. One major aspect of mass culture is the TV. Shows on TV epitomize conformity. The actors only wear famous, brand name clothes. The success of shows on TV is determined by viewership. Viewership is measured in the millions. Millions of people, glued to their TVs, watching some pointless sitcom or drama. This would have been unheard of before WWII, before the inception of TVs as a commodity, a must-have for any American family, the centerpiece and cornerstone of any American living room. </p>

<p>Socially, we might be moving into an abyss, but politically, it seems as if we are moving into a Golden age. In 2008, the first black person, Senator Barack Obama, was elected as President of the United States. In 2008, we also saw a major woman candidate, Hillary Clinton. In 2011, now, we have another black candidate, and another woman candidate. American seems to be changing for the better, at least in the political sphere. America seems to be living up to John Winthrop's ideal of a "city upon a hill," a beacon of light and freedom to the rest of the world. On a grander scale, we have the Arab Spring. Many a despicable dictator were overthrown by vigilant and vital youth. Freedom and democracy are making their rounds in the Arab world. </p>

<p>Ultimately, one cannot simply state that we are changing for the worse, or for the better. One must straddle the fence and say both. Socially, we might be moving into an abyss, an endless race, to acquire material wealth. Socially, we have been castigated and corrupted by consumer culture and mass leisure. On the other hand, we are making political progress - not only in America, but also around the world.</p>

2

<p>I can counter your answers rather easily, and that’s not a good sign.</p>

<p>“Consumer culture blah blah blah”
Consumer culture has also led to a higher standard of living and an increase of wealth not only in America, but around the world.</p>

<p>“TV, culture, etc.”
Radio before and during WWII was THE biggest thing. Nearly every American listened to the same thing. Today’s TV shows and other forms of leisure represent a greater variety in the number of ways Americans can entertain themselves.</p>

<p>“Political Golden Age”
The supposed leaders of the Republican party. The political standoff in Congress. Need I say more?</p>

<p>As for the essay itself, you’re missing a stance. This isn’t APUSH, and yes, this does read like an APUSH essay. You give overt hints that change is neither good nor bad, but refuse to state it outright in your thesis. In addition, you focus on explaining the example rather than actually analyzing its effects. </p>

<p>I’d give this an 8/12</p>

3

<p>7/12, I say. Sorry…</p>

4

<p>

</p>

<p>There is no need to apologize. Thank you all for the opinions! Next time, I’ll add an explicit example and try to come up with better examples.</p>