The point was NOT that only certain schools ever elicit that reaction. It’s that the reaction can be annoying and the reasons people dodge it are not necessarily due to condescension or pretension.
My comment applied to people who are traveling in circles where Yale (or HYPSM or whatever) – notably the topic of this particular thread – get that reaction but other schools don’t. (That’s been my experience, at home and abroad, but I’m not suggesting it’s universal.) If you’re a circle where some other school gets that reaction, same issue, different name.
My ONLY point is to not automatically attribute people’s dodging naming their school to their thinking they’re better than others. It’s just as likely to be because the name – whatever it is – routinely elicits a response they’d rather avoid.
And again, dodging is rarely effective, but it’s completely understandable.
With the incident I mentioned earlier in this thread, it seems to me that it is socially more acceptable to brag about Duke, Gerogetown, NYU, and the like, but it is kind of a taboo in many social settings to talk about your kid going to HYP. BTW, Duke is clearly a peer of Yale. If I implied otherwise, it is certainly not my intention.
@hzhao2004 while there are a few schools that are essentially peers of HYPSM in terms of quality, lets be honest here none of these schools are peers when it comes to name recognition and prestige in most areas within the US and internationally. Saying you go to Duke or Penn or Columbia will not get you the exact same reaction as saying you go to Harvard or Stanford. And I say this as a Penn grad. Also I don’t think it is really more of a social taboo to say you go to HYPSM but chances are it will get you stronger reactions. But i don’t see why that would really matter for any practical reason.
“Saying you go to Duke or Penn or Columbia will not get you the exact same reaction as saying you go to Harvard or Stanford.”
This is not true in a flyover state we live in. Harvard - yes , but not Stanford, Yale or Princeton.
@LiteraryMom - it actually doesn’t end. I attended Yale in the 70’s. I very seldom tell people where I went to school. Its only on a need to know basis - as in you need to know cause I want your job kind of thing. When my daughter was accepted, people’s comments were like “oh my goodness, you must be so proud. How did she ever think to apply to Yale.” I tried most times to not go to the fact that my child was actually a legacy because that would have then taken the limelight off of her accomplishment. As an African American, it is felt even more acutely. When I wore a Yale t-shirt not too long ago someone actually asked me - did you really go to Yale, or are you just pretending? Really?
These next two stories are God’s honest truth. I offer them as an example of a completely different kind of negative reaction from bygone years. Time has made them much funnier than they were back then.
Anyway, back in the day no one questioned how I got into Yale. I was “out” as an accomplished student, and the pretty accurate belief of people who knew me was that I could go anywhere I wanted.
At one point during my senior year in high school, one of my mother’s uncles was dying slowly. At that point, he was more or less the clan chief, the oldest (and bossiest) surviving child of the family patriarch who had immigrated to the US at 15 and made good. He and I shared the same first name. He was in a coma for several days, then came out of it, and word went around to go see him because there was no guarantee how long he would stay lucid. So I went to see him, essentially to say goodbye, which he understood perfectly well. After we had talked enough, and I was about to leave, he asked me where I planned to go to college. I said that I hadn’t been accepted yet, but what I wanted to do was to go to Yale. He said, in all seriousness, and well aware that it was probably going to be the last thing he ever said to me, “You can’t let yourself make a mistake that big while you are this young.” He meant it.
A few months later, I was certain I was going to Yale, and I was at a family party with another of my mother’s uncles. This one was at the time the most distinguished family member. He was a well-known professor in his field, currently on leave for an important federal government position in his academic area. He and his recently deceased brother had gone to the same college; all his brothers had, and my grandmother, his sister, had gone to its women’s affiliate. He asked me where I was going to college, and I said “Yale. Will you still talk to me?” He said, “Sure, I’ll still talk to you. I’ll just talk down to you. With a Harvard education, you can afford to be magnanimous.”
@Tperry1982
People actually said that to you!!! How flippin rude!
On a similar note when asked where my son is off to this fall and I say Yale I get the “oh he’s an athlete, so he was recruited”…
I then have to explain the whole concept of the Academic Index to them and how an athlete attending any of the ivys is required to meet certain standards. I still find it annoying though as it seems like a very condescending way of implying he doesn’t belong. Those who know him well know how bright he is and don’t go there but others seem to enjoy popping that bubble.
Meanwhile my kid could care less about any of it.
